*Hugs April* <3

*Hugs Taz* I'm sorry you are struggling , please try not to OD or S.I. , or at least too badly .

*Hugs Felicia* Don't beat yourself up about the history test .

I have appointment 1 Volunteer buero , Appt 2 Accupuncture, Appt 3 Nurse tomorrow all crammed together 1pm,2pm and 3.30pm .

I posted this earlier and didn't get a reply and would like some thoughts on what to do , :S

Since my Lithium has been increased I've been having what the leaflet that comes with the pills descibes as "Difficulty in speaking or slurred speech" . For me I'd describe it as knowing in my brain what I want to say but not being able to make the words come out ,it's embarrasing when I just stop talking to someone and I end up apologising , it sais it could be a symtom of Lithium toxicity but I don't want to go back down to my previous dose as this one is help a bit with my depression .hmmm:S

*Hugs Crimson* Sorry to hear about your Gran , How is she?

I honestly have no clue what to do, Mark. On one hand, it helps better with your depression, on another, Lithium toxicity is pretty serious... Have you spoken to a professional about it? Cause that's what I'd probably do.

*hugs back* she's ok so far... supposed to have a heart cath done today. or maybe it was already done... she's 4 hrs ahead of me... i've avoided calling since we haven't talked in a long time and i have no idea what to say. might blame it on the time difference, not call and send a message through my cousin.

i agree with felicia, mark. i'd talk to your doc and see what they say.

Thanks Felicia and Crimson , I may bring it up with my nurse tomorrow , it's not directly to do with her but she is medically trained and I am already meeting her.

I agree with Felicia and Crimson, Mark (and sorry that we didn't reply sooner!!). I would definitely talk with a professional about it because it may not be a side effect of lithium, but then again it may. And it may or may not be serious. I don't know. :( Good luck with all of the appts, sounds kind of like a crazy day!! *hugs*

Aw Crimson, I'm sorry to hear about your gran, but glad that she's doing okay. Hopefully she'll be doing better in the next bit. I'd feel a little awkward as far as what to say too, if I were you, so don't feel alone in that. Are you sure you're doing okay though? you didn't sound too sure. And if I'm prying, just tell me to shove it, okay? :P *cuddles*

Taz *cuddles* what you said makes sense, yes. :) I just hope that either 1) they start working soon or 2) you get onto a med that helps more than they do. I know the whole "6 week" bit, ugh. :( It's awful waiting for sooo long and then everyone thinks you ought to be doing better sooner than that... I don't know, it's just... icky. :-/ Sorry if I'm not making much sense, am really quite tired right now.

Nicole *huggles* I'm sorry you feel dissociated... what makes you say that? I mean, how are you feeling and what triggered it, do you know? Sorry if I sound dense, am very curious about dissociation as I have experienced it quite frequently but don't know how most people experience it and also what other people's main triggers are. :) If you don't want to say that's okay too.

I'm so stressed out, overwhelmed, and I feel totally shitty from therapy. :'(

*cuddles all*

Sorry everyone's struggling so much, please try stay safe.

*Hugs Ward*

I'm off to bed now , night night my fellow wardies.
Sleep is where my brain stops racing.

*huggles april, helen and mark*
mark-goodnight, hope you sleep well
helen-you ok hun?
april-i dunno, im just having a bad night, and i find mainly when i get dissasociated, it just feels like im just watching everything in a film, including myself, i dont feel real, but tonight im sorta in the middle, like its not real, and im not real, but im still here if that makes sense? idk....just feeling weird.

Goodnight Mark.

Nicole, I'm trying to be honey. *cuddles you tightly*

*hugs Crimson* Heart attacks suck hun :( Sorry to hear. Hopefully you get to talk to her soon.

*hugs Nicole* Anything in particular causing you to feel that way?

*hugs Mark* Definitely mention it to your nurse, she can give you pretty informative stuff and recommend seeing your doctor or not... Sleep well <3

*cuddles April* Wish I could make you feel less shitty :(

*spots Reaper and Heather* How are you?

*hugs Hels* Keep staying safe :)

*squishes everyone and wishes could do more*
i get to see [and maybe meet] jennifer knapp tonight [christian singer who still has a huge following even though she came out o_O] :) but... cant find any outfit that doesnt make me look huuuuuuuuge =[

*hugs helen* aaw, you're safe though right? and im...ok i suppose, just not sure whats happening to me, i seem to be getting worse again and it scares me but noone seems to notice :(

*hugs nicole if want* <333

i spies laura and taz =]

hi *sneaks back in*

sorry i havent been around. ive been reading and thinking of all of you though.

i just.. i dunno, im sorry. usless ward mate.

*hugs Laura* You're not a useless ward mate Laura. None of us are. I wish none of us would say it....we're not useless.

*hugs Nicole* I'm sorry you're struggling so much. I'm safe I guess.

*hugs Taz* I'll try :)

Laura, you're not useless at all *hugs*

you're not useless laura <333

*spies Jill & Oliver* How are you two doing?

*hugs Heather* You're not huge hun <3 Hope you have fun though and found something to wear :)

*hugs Laura* Definitely not useless <3

*hugs Hels & Felicia*

Sneaks back in and dives under some blankets.

*Slowly lifts up blanket and peeks in at Jill* You doing okay?

I need new music for my iPod. Anybody have suggestions? And I've gone from feeling totally low and zoned out to rather giddy... I'm just sitting here looking for stuff to do. I feel like I have a ton of energy all of a sudden. I could get used to this...

Puff the Magic Dragon by the Seekers. It's a great song :) Remins me of my childhood. The happy parts.

You OK Jill?

Can anyone see me?

I'm sorry about last night.

Think this was meant for Heather????

It's okay sweetie *cuddles*

Huggles all, taz and lia, not doing great world war 3 about to kick off in my rl, all because of one person actions, and because one again sh can't ingage her brain before she speaks. Adfadf hahahahaha. Being thinking about this alot, if i hurt myself and it got to the point were it was really bad, wounder if i would panic or just be calm and peaceful. Sorry really messed up thought. Sorry.=(

I've got so much going on in my brain that I just want to die. I really do. And I'm totally off my Abilify and I don't want to fill the script because it is just for 10mg and wasn't doing diddly-squat for my moods/psychoses. I can turn one of my psychoses off and on (the "white noise") - anyone have any idea what that may mean? it's rather odd. Like if I want to hear it, I can hear it... but if I don't, I can switch it off. It's really peculiar.

And I feel quite shitty especially since I just wrote in my journal all about my family and how they just don't get me and never will. My therapist and I talked a lot about them/me today and it was quite... well, enlightening and weird. I don't know. I really do need to update my r/v but haven't gotten around to that yet...

Oh and Laura, you are far from useless <3
Heather, not fat!!!! :)
Taz, what kind of music do you like?
Lia, what was going on last night? :-/ Worried about you, hon.

Sorry such random and stupid responses but ohey, they'll work for now...

*cuddles April tightly*

*cuddles Hels back* How are you, hon??

*glomps Oliver* How are you?? did you go to the pride party thingamajigger? (sorry, can't remember the exact name of it :o)

So.****ing.over.this. :crying:

*gives Hels a cookie* Thanks for correcting me :) Obvious brain lapse while typing... the letters all start to look the same after a while =/

*hugs Lia* Glad to see you seem to be doing better today. I was worried too :/

*hugs Jill* Here's hoping WW3 doesn't happen too badly <33

*hugs April tightly* I have no advice for the psychoses unfortunately =/ Maybe it's a good thing you can turn it on and off at will?

April, *hugs tightly* I'm bit low & quite worried. I've not heard anything from my bestie's gran today. Not like her at all :/ Just hope everything's okay :'( My bestie's friend is definitely on because I phoned to see (but hung up quickly). You won't always feel this bad darling =[

Taz, it's okay sweets. *cuddles*

*cuddles Hels* I'm really hoping your bestie's fine, although if she's still in the hospital, keep in mind she's under the best possible care. I would think they'd inform you if she took a turn for the worse though? :S Just throwing it out there, I could be wrong.

April, please don't say that. I know how you feel, but it gets better in time (sorry if Leona Lewis is now singing in your head. You can borrow my knife to stab her if you wish). I can talk to the people involved now without feeling exposed and naked. You may come to fogive your sister in time too. I'm sure she wouldn't have done it if she had known how much it was going to hurt you. She probably convinced herself it was the best thing to do. Please stay safe. *Hugs.*


You alright Taz?

I'm OK. I wasn't on drugs as I feel I may have come across last night. I FELT like I was, kinda floaty and happy, but not happy at the same time. It was like I wasn't really controlling what I was saying and was coming out with the most random things. I didn't feel like me, and even my friend Ellis said I was different, although I was having a normal conversation with her. Then I got angry, then I was depressed, then just felt normalish again. This is why I think I have some form of bipolar disorder. Or something. I don't think I'm 'normal' at any rate.

Hope everyone else is OK.

Helen, have you tried getting in touch with her gran yourself? I'm sure she would have told you if anything serious had happened. *Hugs.*

xx

Nooo. Cant explain it. Mind is going haywire. This is insanity at its finest haha, wouldn't that make a great catch phrase.

*hugs Lia*

*cuddles all*

Sorry to hear so many are struggling. Wish I could offer more than *hugs*.

Taz, she is still in hospital and I suspect she's still in the induced coma :/ If she'd taken a turn for worse, I'm sure I would have been informed by now.

Lia, I've texted her twice today and no answer at all :( I texted my bestie's phone because she has it whilst my bestie's in the clinic/hospital.


On a different note. Now it's 12am (here) my last od/suicide attempt was a whole year ago. Should be proud really...(also my other bestie is home today :D)

*hugs Kahlia* How are YOU doing?

*hugs Hels* That's great :D Congrats on the one year!

*hugs Taz* Thanks honey :)

Cuddles all, taz would be happier if I didn't happpen in the first place,all because of someones stuiped actions. Really want to scream at this person, just please engage your brain before you speak, this is your mum your talking about, ****sake. Adfadfadf.hahahahaha can I just die now please. Hahahaha. Curls up under the blanket again and hides.

*hugs Jill* I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. Without knowing what really happened, I can't give much advice, but you're always welcome here as you know, and you can PM me too if you like.

I'm sure you would have done Helen. Maybe her nan lost her phone.

xx

Perhaps you're right Lia, who knows...

*cuddles Hels* You're welcome :) There's a ton of reasons why she might not have contacted you yet. Try not to worry too much, although I know that can be hard.

*hugs Jill* That's true, and yes - the world would be better if people used their brains before talking, but sadly it doesn't work like that. I hope you stay safe hun <33

*hugs Lia*

Of course I'm right, I always am :) *Hugs*

I'm trying not to worry but it's been over 24 hours since she last got in contact :/ We've had few occasions before now where she's taken til quite late in the day (9/10/11pm) to get in contact and I was worried. But never THIS long and last time sometime took this long to get in touch with me about my bestie was a few months back and she wasn't well then..Hopefully she'll text me in the morning if not through the night (it's nearly 1am now)

*hugs Hels* - So damn proud of you girl. *throws confetti*

Thanks Kahlia *hugs back*

It's 1am here too. Like you said, I'm sure she would have told you by now if something had happened. Stay strong :)

There's not room for both me and the pain in this body. One of us has gotta go.

Lia, I'm trying to stay strong :] Going to attempt sleep soon.

Why you in pain hun?

Hmm I can't do this anymore. sorry I'm sorry