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-   -   Shame around experiencing pain and discomfort does anyone else get this ? (http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=237779)

Uglyducklin 11-12-2015 10:44 AM

Shame around experiencing pain and discomfort does anyone else get this ?
 
Hi guys I am sorry to post and this is a bit odd and hard for me to describe as I'm so ashamed it makes me cringe even as I'm typing! I was abused as a child and experienced a lot of physical pain as a result especially in my stomach and groin area, I was scared people would ask questions so I would never have been able to mention it and I was also told to not tell people. I was discussing this with my eating disorders nurse how hard I find it to care for myself or feel I deserve to not hurt. Somethings are harder than others. My stomach or anything to do with my gut I find incredibly difficult and I will ignore pain until it is so unbearable I can't hide it. It reminds me of the trauma and I feel I need to hide it so people don't know. Which is odd because my team at least now know about what has happened! Does anyone else find this hard? Sorry I feel so lost and alone right now.

Pi.R^2 21-12-2015 09:19 PM

Sorry you didn't get any replies to this Jessie.

I think it's understandable that you find stomach pain difficult to deal with, due to what you went through as a child. Were you able to be specific with your eating disorders nurse about how stomach pain makes you feel? Perhaps you could work with them to start gradually challenging the feeling that you're not allowed to tell people about stomach pain. Starting to acknowledge out loud that you have pain in that area might help lift some of that shame that you feel.

Uglyducklin 22-12-2015 11:05 PM

Thanks Jenna that's a great idea. It's just so muddled some of it is also that I feel in terms of my eating disorder those stomach issues are my fault just as the abuse was my fault? I'm trying to talk more as discomfort like that are far more common for me than I would ever easily admit. You have been so kind. X

Pi.R^2 01-01-2016 04:30 PM

How was the abuse your fault? (Sorry, blunt question there, couldn't find a better way to phrase it!). Abuse is never the victim's fault.

In terms of the stomach issues from your eating disorder, whilst in a way it can be helpful to think "I need to improve my eating so I can have less stomach issues", I don't think it's helpful to say it's your fault- it's not your fault that you have an eating disorder.

Is your GP/team aware of your stomach pain at all? If not, once you're ready, I think it would be a good idea to let them know, as there may be something that can be done to ease it.

Uglyducklin 03-01-2016 06:20 PM

Thanks Jenna I am going to try and speak to C on Wednesday as the shameful thing has flared and I'm struggling feeling sick and as an emetaphobe it means back taking lots of anti-emetics . I notice this with increases in anxiety often. My body and mind feel wrecked. I'm going to try to talk about as well as the body shame . Xx


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