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-   -   Intense emotional pain (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245810)

Koala hugs 05-10-2019 08:45 PM

Hey how are you now. hope you are feeling a bit better tho I know it doesn't nesasarrilly happen overnight. I really hope that things improve for you soon and you can feel more relaxed and that even if life doesn't get easier you find it easier to cope with. Thinking of u.

one_step_closer 07-10-2019 08:32 AM

Thanks everyone. I have been on the ward since Friday. Itís really tough and iíve considered discharging myself but have been advised not to. The ward manager spoke to me yesterday, heís my favourite nurse from before but he wasnít the manager then. He helped a bit but i donít think the psych is going to do any of the things that the staff hope he will. My own psych is on holiday so iím having to see one who has treated me long term in the past but iíve had issues with him.

I wish i could easily get out of life. There really are no solutions in life. The staff hope this week will give me a bit of respite and help me to be stronger when i get home. The ward manager said to stick out the week because if i discharge myself and then need a bed in the future people might say, well you discharged yourself the last time.

Will try and get on here a bit more but i donít like using my phone i prefer my laptop.

tamobhuuta 07-10-2019 09:24 AM

Be brave! You can do this and things can better.

one_step_closer 07-10-2019 04:10 PM

Thanks. Iím so bored, tired, frustrated, anxious, drowning. The two staff members who hate me are on this shift although luckily not for my group but it makes it hard to approach any staff or even leave the dorm.

I was allowed to go to the main hospital myself for an ECG despite only being allowed 5 minute periods at the unit front door so it was stressful especially since the other world had been closing in all morning. Iíll be seeing the unhelpful psych tomorrow so donít expect to be heard. I should be getting home on Friday anyway.

one_step_closer 07-10-2019 06:40 PM

Iím going to ask to be discharged tomorrow. :thumbup:

one_step_closer 07-10-2019 09:04 PM

Just absolutely bawled to a nurse. Itís life in general that is hopeless and a trap, not just hospital. Probably not going home tomorrow. Iíd feel like shit at home too and have no one about. I canít keep up this battle. :crying:

one_step_closer 08-10-2019 10:14 AM

Oh balls. I donít know what to do. The doctor wonít offer me any good options whatever they might be.

one_step_closer 08-10-2019 10:21 AM

P.S sorry if my replies to others on their threads are short, iím not good at being on here on my phone. I prefer my laptop.

one_step_closer 08-10-2019 02:24 PM

The doctor wants to increase my aripiprazole and has advised me to stay till Friday. One of the patients is on observations now so sheís being double annoying which i know isnít very nice of me to say. I am allowed to leave before Friday if i want of course. I do still want to just go but everyone is advising me to stay. I need to find ways not to crack up and to get support when i need it.

tamobhuuta 08-10-2019 03:10 PM

*hugs* hospital is a hard place to be. I hope the increase in meds helps.

one_step_closer 08-10-2019 05:34 PM

Thanks. I wish i had just gone home. The patients in my dorm are really triggering me and taking up lots of staff time. Iím having to hold back the other world stuff and everything that is pushing me from inside. Iím trying to get to talk to my group nurse, i hope she comes soon and i can just go home tonight. I really trust the ward manager who said he wanted me to stay for the full week but i just canít get the support i need here. Iíve also been told not to make impulsive discharge decisions but it keeps coming into my head so i think itís important. Iíll give up the support i could have here. I donít want to face another night here. I only managed last night after a huge crying session with a nurse and enough PRN to make me drowsy, there will be none of that tonight. I need to go home now. Please.

tamobhuuta 08-10-2019 06:11 PM

Crying and PRN aren't wrong. If talking to someone and having meds helps you, that's fine.

one_step_closer 08-10-2019 06:25 PM

They are very, very short staffed. Iíve asked to go home but the nurse i spoke to thought it had to be Friday so i have to wait until another nurse is about to check. Really need out of here.

tamobhuuta 08-10-2019 06:27 PM

Maybe stay a few more days, so care can be put in place for when you do go home.

Soft Kitty 08-10-2019 07:02 PM

I agree, it might be worth staying so there's hopefully more of a plan when you are discharged and they can see how you're getting on with the meds increase?

Do you think having more leave during the day over the next couple of days might help you feel less trapped or do you think it would make it harder? In addition, if PRN helped last night so you think it might be worth seeing if they'll offer it to you on an evening for the next few nights?

chinahorse 09-10-2019 01:09 PM

How're you?

one_step_closer 09-10-2019 02:33 PM

Thank you all.

I discharged myself last night. I managed to phone my CPN this morning to try and get some support put in place but she was in a meeting and when she phoned back I didn't feel able to answer. I'm just trying to settle at the moment, will hopefully be online/post more soon.

Juella 10-10-2019 02:22 AM

Hopefully you can settle in and feel comfortable at home. Take care!

tamobhuuta 10-10-2019 01:32 PM

How are things at home?

nonperson 10-10-2019 01:44 PM

Hope you're doing ok. I bet your cats were glad to see you.

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