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-   -   Intense emotional pain (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245810)

Greyscale 28-01-2020 04:46 PM

Good luck, i really hope it is useful xx

tiptoes 28-01-2020 05:29 PM

Super proud of you for reaching out.

I hope you get the help you need.

Good luck

one_step_closer 28-01-2020 07:05 PM

Thank you all <3

Indigo. 30-01-2020 06:10 PM

Thinking of you Lindsay <3

EyelinerAndCigarettes 30-01-2020 07:07 PM

Thinking of you <3

MissGranger 31-01-2020 08:51 AM

I really hope being an IP helps you and you feel better soon. You're being very brave. Thinking of you x

one_step_closer 01-02-2020 09:25 AM

Thanks everyone. I stupidly missed my chance to walk off the ward in the five seconds no one was sitting in the corridor. Iím not going to get better. Iím a bit doped up or regular lorazepam and a med increase. Bored. Wish i had some easy visitors.

chinahorse 01-02-2020 09:34 AM

It's really early days, give the meds time to work. Are there any plans other than a meds increase?

Did you take any distractions with you?

one_step_closer 02-02-2020 08:48 AM

They said something about seeing the IP psychologist i think. I have a wordsearch book and my kindle and diary. Itís just hard to focus on things. Here goes another day that shouldnít exist.

nonperson 02-02-2020 08:59 AM

Do you feel safer/less distressed where you are now than at home?

I know each day is hard, but just take things minute to minute. There's no pressure to make big changes all of a sudden.

one_step_closer 05-02-2020 09:06 PM

I wish it was easier to type on here on my phone. It doesnít help that iím doped up to double vision. Iím really distressed. Yesterday the doctor said i could have 5 minutes unescourted time at the door. Me and the nurse knew it was a bad idea but i have to be making progress. I did lots of research and headed out for Ď5í minutes when i knew there would be a train leaving the station. I had to go onto another train after that to get to a station where my research told me i would be on time for a passing high speed train. A police officer phoned and i didnít answer. A nurse i trust phoned and left a message and i called back because i trusted her and i was near my destination anyway.

Unfortunately i heard a very fast police car with its sirens when i got off the train and i walked to the other side of the platform where the high speed train was due but they got to me. Once they had put me in their car the train passed. :( i should be in pieces. I want to do it tonight but iím not allowed off the ward now and thereís always someone watching the corridor. The staff on tonight are unhelpful. The nurse i spoke to yesterday is going to be on the night shift and might speak to me again as i think she said she would. This is all so traumatic and hopeless. I cannot do this!

nonperson 05-02-2020 09:14 PM

I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry that things are still so difficult for you. Things are never as hopeless as they may seem. I hope you get to speak to the nurse tonight.

Cacoethes 05-02-2020 09:17 PM

I'm so sorry you're still so distressed lindsay
I'm glad you didn't get to do it
You are so valued here and I wish you could see it too
Sorry I can't think of anything helpful to say
Stay strong

one_step_closer 05-02-2020 09:59 PM

Thank you both. This is all just too much. Iím on lorazepam 4 times a day but that will be stopped before iím discharged. My aripiprazole has been increased. Trazodone has been added alongside my fluoxetine. I was supposed to see the inpatient psychologist but then that was cancelled. Iíve found a way to bash my head without them hearing. As Slipknot say all iíve got is insane.

Pi.R^2 08-02-2020 05:01 PM

Oh no, it sounds like you've been having such an awful time :( I agree with everything the others have said and I'm so pleased that you didn't get to follow through with your plan.

I really hope the new and changed medications are helpful. How come seeing the psychologist got cancelled?

one_step_closer 09-02-2020 07:13 PM

Thanks everyone. The psychologist was cabcelled because i said i wasnít sure ut would help but i wanted an assessment. I have been rereferred. I want ti communicare here more but my vision is weird and itís stressgul to try and correct everything. Iím going for my cardiology appoiny tomorrow and hope thryíll also take me home to pick up some things.

nonperson 09-02-2020 07:22 PM

Even if you're not sure it will help, it's still worth an assessment. Better to see what they say anyway, right?

Hope your vision improves soon, I can totally understand it being stressful correcting typos. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow.

one_step_closer 10-02-2020 08:45 AM

I really need to ger home for things today but theyíre saying it prob wonít be possible. :(

nonperson 10-02-2020 09:27 AM

Can anyone bring you some things instead?

one_step_closer 16-02-2020 04:33 PM

My brother collected some things. I spoke to a nurse today to come up with a plan. Iíve to eat 3 small meals because my eating less is affecting my blood pressure and general health. I see the doc on Tuesdsy to go over the plan with him which is to have more time on the hospital grounds, go to the gym group on Thursday, have a day on the ward on Friday. Then a day pass on sat or sun. I think i might be allowed more day passes then overnights. Depending on how thinhs go i could be discharged in around 2 weeks. Still feeling a bit vulnerable and hope my doc will find an alternative to lorazepam as he says i canít comtinue it at hom


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