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Doikers 28-04-2010 06:26 PM

*Prizes up a floorboard and hugs Oliver*

CrazyHayley 28-04-2010 06:30 PM

Well its taken nearly an hour but I've been all around the ward and caught up on all the latest goings on. Please forgive me for not making individual replies or mentioning names, but there are just soooo many since I replied last time properly that it would take me another hour to type my post!

April, I think it was you who asked about Eoghan. He wouldn't be 'deployed' to America, its a 2year catergory E posting which is to do with their career and he would be the personal driver of some brigadeer man. So a huge difference from being frontline paratrooper. He'd probably end up ebing quite bored, but, its good for his career and he's done 4 desert war tours of duty already since 2003, we really don't want another.... We won't know for a few weeks yet though whether he's definately got it or not....*waits anxiously*

Good news wardies!! *beams* The doctor finally agreed to my demands. Gosh I was shaking and getting an anxious sweat on, but they agreed to me going back on the depo injection. I've got to finish this cycle, which means one more lot of irrational thoughts and desperation, but I just need to keep focused through that and then on monday 17th I can look forward to my sanity returning on a more permanant basis! Whoohoo!! So if that controls the mood disorder, it'll be interesting to see how I am, now that I've been on increased antidepressants and had councelling, with regards to my PTSD etc. Fingers crossed I'll be markedly happier and more stable *crosses fingers*

*huge positive filled group huggles for all her fellow inmates*

I'm going into the tv room to watch 'West Side Story' if anyone wants to join me?

*toddles off humming tune of west side story*

*stops on way to find Oliver under the floorboards and hug him tightly* you cannot die, I won't let you! We'll all help you through this, but an extension definately sounds like a good idea for you as you're struggling so much at the moment.

*continues humming*

Doikers 28-04-2010 06:35 PM

*Hugs Hayley* Thats such good news :) Joins you to watch West side Story , I've not seen it before , is it good ?

CrazyHayley 28-04-2010 06:37 PM

Yup :D it was made in the 60's but its basically a modern day (well 60's, lol) version of Romeo & Juliet. But different names and its more to do with gangs/culture set in america. I love musical theatre, so love the singing and dancing :)

*gets calorie free popcorn to share with mark and anyone else who may join us*

Doikers 28-04-2010 06:41 PM

The Diaz has kicked in , I'm just gonna take a little time over in front of my tv

nicole94 28-04-2010 06:42 PM

AAARRGHH im so angry!

Doikers 28-04-2010 06:44 PM

Whats up Nicole?

frenchhorn 28-04-2010 06:48 PM

west side story is amazing.

*comes out from under the floorboards, he needs to prepare for his concert now, so no more hiding*
sent an email to teacher to talk about deferring recital, going to talk to her on friday.

Scarletdreamer 28-04-2010 07:01 PM

*pops in to offer cuddles to all, especially Oliver & Mark, then pops out to head to class*

Thinking of you all... many cuddles & love to each and every one of you!!!! :) I'll be back on later, hopefully, after senior sem... hopefully I won't be feeling like SI'ing in that class due to getting back a bad grade or something... :-S

*hides*

PoisonedApple 28-04-2010 07:15 PM

Mark~ It's not whining. And we're here to help :)

Hayley~ if he comes to the US since it isn't a deployment would he be able to bring you with him? Yay on getting your doctor agreeing! Hope it helps. :)

Oliver~ This is going to sound greedy but... YOU CAN NOT DIE ON ME!!!
But on the school work I agree that an extension on you work may be beneficial. It would give you room to breath since you have a lot on your proverbial plate right now.

*hugs Nicole* What happened hun?

*sits to watch west side story*

jonikd 28-04-2010 08:08 PM

*hugs everyone*
I'm considering sleeping in the day and staying awake all night just so I can be around when all you guys are :(

MammaMia 28-04-2010 10:42 PM

*hugs everyone*

Been soooooooooo many posts since this morning.

Hope people are feeling better.

Have had an amazing day with my friend. Already miss her. I kept collapsing though, godamm you fainting!!! Haven't had a bad spell like today for a little while, so was really distressing. Was incredibly dizzy most of the time but she was really good to me ^_^ She even let me talk about stuff, ended up ranting about mh services, oh dear!!! Then gained a nasty migraine, ****ing thing :@ Not-so-nice journey home, battery died before I even left & was just so stressful. I was like if anything happens to me, I hardly have any money && no mobile =/ Luckily I got home in one piece. Even if the bus driver nearly sent me through the window screen. My legs ache sooooooooooooo much. But then again, I did pretty much walk for nearly 12 hours (minis sitting on buses/trains/on the floor/in the pub etc..)

*cuddles everyone again and goes to hide in her hiding space*

Really want my best friends :(

Kahlia1981 28-04-2010 11:28 PM

*huggles everyone*

Sorry, too many posts for me to do individual replies - 4 pages since I was in here last night.

Going to try and get some ammo to fight the healthcare battle this morning. Plan A is in progress and we are going to do work to cement it, then work onm Plans B through to E ... and so on. So over all this. :(

*disappears into a corner for a cry*

MammaMia 28-04-2010 11:45 PM

So tired of fighting.
So exhausted from today, can't sleep yet, my migraine will make it so painful to.
**** this.

frenchhorn 29-04-2010 12:58 AM

*hides again*
I'm actually not going to be able to get through the night without doing something serious, death is the only thing on my mind, I'm scared.

Kahlia1981 29-04-2010 01:07 AM

*hugs Oliver* - Is there anyone IRL you can talk to or be with? Can you call a crisis line? I know it's hard, but try to fight it. I wish I could say that it gets easier, but I can't. Maybe even distractions or the 15 second game?

frenchhorn 29-04-2010 01:12 AM

no one I can be with at the moment, I could call the samaritans, but I don't know, dont like talking on the phone, I'm trying distractions, but concentration so bad i cant focus on one thing for that long.
*hides*

Kahlia1981 29-04-2010 01:19 AM

I understand where you are coming from with the phones ... I absolutely hate it myself. I wish I could be there with you - It's about 10:20 here which means it's like ~ 1:20 am there? What kind of distractions are you using at the moment? Is anything helping or making it easier? *offers hugs*

PoisonedApple 29-04-2010 01:19 AM

*cuddles Oliver* Sorry its not more but dealing with people today is casuing me to be a bit scattered right now.

frenchhorn 29-04-2010 01:26 AM

yeah its about 1.20am here, well at the moment I'm emailing my tutor, but thats taking ages, have to stop every few words and reread it constantly to check its ok, other than that I dont know.

thanks for the cuddles crimson *returns cuddles, then hides again*
sorry I am being so useless.

PoisonedApple 29-04-2010 01:34 AM

*sits and holds Oliver's hand for as long as needed, even if its all night*
It's good you're emailing your tutor. *huggles*

frenchhorn 29-04-2010 01:44 AM

thanks crimson
sorry everyone I feel so pathetic in asking for help

Kahlia1981 29-04-2010 01:54 AM

*cuddles Oliver* - Asking for help is never pathetic. If you don't feel safe, or able to keep yourself safe, then it is far better to ask for help than to sit alone in the dark (so to speak). How did you go with emailing your tutor? *sits down beside Oliver and settles in for as long as needed*

Hey Crimson, how are you doing? Recovering a bit from your day dealing with people? *huggles you*

frenchhorn 29-04-2010 02:15 AM

thank you for sitting with me guys.
i've sent the email to my tutor, see what she says in morning
*walks around ward to try help distract himself*

Kahlia1981 29-04-2010 02:43 AM

*hugs Oliver* It's okay. We're here for you for as long as you need us. I'm glad you managed to get the email written and sent. Big tick for you. Sorry it took me so long to respond though ...

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 06:29 AM

*unsure how to help*

Kahlia1981 29-04-2010 08:20 AM

*hugs everyone*

Spent $320 today I don't have to replace a monitor that my friends child destroyed. Seriously stressing now.

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 10:02 AM

anyone about?

frenchhorn 29-04-2010 10:04 AM

Hi julie, I'm sort of here, for about 10mins anyway. you ok?

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 10:06 AM

*gives oli little pocket size boxes filled with hugs to take with him*

frenchhorn 29-04-2010 10:14 AM

thank you, leaving for rehearsal in a few mins, dont want to, too damn anxious and depressed.

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 10:16 AM

deep breaths hun it may help it may not work but oxegen is good for u apparently

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 10:17 AM

i need to go shower *sniffs self* yip i need to shower

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 10:42 AM

baaaaccck

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 10:54 AM

*grumbles* stupid wrong side of the world noone awake wen i am lol

one_step_closer 29-04-2010 11:10 AM

It's nice to talk to yourself sometimes though!

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 11:14 AM

some times
how r u

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 11:16 AM

*yawns and fiddgets and wriggls around*

Doikers 29-04-2010 11:25 AM

*Hugs ward mates*

British telecom who my Dad (So pathetic I can't do this on my own!) wrote a message to last night about the putting up my bill by almost 20 a month rang before 9am this morning , woke me up , and told me that a basically have to pay the extra money as I have an outstanding balance , I was all groggy from sleep and haveing taken a non-suicidal OD the night before just because I wanted to block out all the stress and Cutting urges . all I said on the phone was yeah *gap* Yeah *Gap* Yeah....

I am pretty triggered . Tired too ,overslept after the phone call :S I really don't know what to do:(

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 11:27 AM

*offers hugs to doikers*

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 11:42 AM

Hello everyone... been tons of posts since my last so sorry if I can't/don't respond to all of them.

Oliver *cuddles* So glad that you made it through the night. I'm a little confused though, is your tutor someone in your support network? For some reason I thought that s/he was a school-oriented person, although that does make sense as what you're struggling with is overload due to school. Sorry if that was dense. :-S How are you doing today?? And I agree with the others, extensions do sound good... that way you won't have quite so much stress & will be able to perform much better in your daily life and at uni. *more cuddles*

*cuddles Mark and curls up next to* I spy you!! :D And I'm really sorry about the bill... that is really awful. :( I wish I could help in some way... geez, I know I say that a lot, but I really do mean it... I want to be able to help you ALL more than I can. :( But I'm here if you need to talk... and of course, I can offer cuddles and hugs, etc. :) *more cuddles*

*cuddles Hels* I'm so glad that you had a great time with your friend, although am sorry that you feel like everything bad happens to you. :( How are you doing today??

JK, love, you didn't say how you were doing. Soo... how are you doing?? not great, I take it? *holds you gently*

*cuddles and snuggles everyone else who's been about*

Umm... about me, well, the dinner... that went alright, I was really really anxious beforehand but once it got underway it went alright. Only got to stay for part of the meal & no speakers though, and we (my bestie & I) missed our dessert!!! which was *grumble grumble* ... so yeah. Pewpy. I was sitting at a table with a nursing student from Hong Kong, and then a REALLY old retired faculty and her son, and 2 current staff/faculty members. I didn't know any of them really. I'd seen one around campus but hadn't ever talked with her... so yeah. It was definitely interesting. :) They didn't have me down as being someone who had been invited however, although I was on the list of recipients of scholarships... one person cancelled so I got his spot and his meal (pork, when I had ordered the stuffed portabello mushroom *sigh* so that sucked... it wasn't awful but I don't really like pork that much). I really didn't even want to go to the dinner, but oh well...

Then the W&S presentation went really well, people laughed with the first poem as was intended, and enjoyed the rest. I really hope I did well. :-S My bestie and another mutual friend said I did great... so I hope that I did. Eek!! But the presentations & dinners are over with... now next week I have an "interview" with my internship person... so yeah, that's going to be interesting. :-S Am scared.

*more cuddles, then hides in a dark lonely hole* :(

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 11:45 AM

*gives april little pocket size boxes filled with hugs*

*goes sits in a big box in the corner and tapes in shut from the inside*

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 12:26 PM

*curls up in a little ball staying everoyones way*

Doikers 29-04-2010 12:44 PM

*hugs April* I'm SO happy that your presentation went really well for you :-) , and I'm sorry got pork but at least you are not Vege or a Mulsim , that would have caused one big ruccus . Oh and missing dessert ! you should have gotten doggy bag to put it in at least .
Also I had a dream that I was a WoW member April lol , you and hayley are subliminaly influancing me! lol

*Hugs Julie* how are you in your box? cuts open a small hole in Julies box to check she's ok.

*hugs all other ward mates*

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 12:45 PM

*sniffles* ...





'm ok

Doikers 29-04-2010 01:11 PM

Why the sniffles Julie ? * Hands over a Hanky*

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 01:13 PM

*cuddles Mark* I'm also glad that my presentation went well, and the dessert hadn't even been served by the time that we left. :( Some people were still just getting their dinners!! if you can believe that... but oh well, am so fat I don't need to have dessert anyhow. :'( How are you doing/feeling now?? any plans for the morning/afternoon?

*sends Julie a pocket-sized box of infinite cuddles through the hole Mark cut in the box* Are you sure you're okay, hon?

I'm drained... tired already, hate that. :( I am going to be going to a picnic tonight with a friend... it's the psych club's picnic, held at my advisor's house. Should be kind of fun although doubtless I will be anxious. GRRRR. :'(

Just got off WoW a bit ago - lol, Mark, that's a funny dream to be having!! :D - my rogue hit level 17, so close to 20 and a mount!! :D She's a human so she'll get a horse... my plan is to have her get the black stallion, which is not well known about (as far as I can tell)... so yeah. :D Hehe. I'm kinda excited about that. But anyway... :)

Almost time to go... boo hiss. Jarrod's gonna get keys for my car today (we only have one at this time, he's gonna go down to the dealership where he ordered the keys and they're going to make the key so it matches up with my car's computer or summat like that - I've a VW Jetta, kind of confusing the whole deal)... will be dropping me off on campus shortly. That gives me a LOT of time to figure out what I want to do my soc paper on... urgh... :( Due Monday. Up to 10 pages long. Haven't started it and really have no clue what he wants. I HATE THAT!!!!!! :(

*hides in a dark and lonely hole once more* :'(

Doikers 29-04-2010 01:19 PM

*Finds April in her hole and Squish's her*

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 01:19 PM

ARGH DAMNIT, so anxious already!!!

:crying:


Sorry... so sorry... :'(

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 01:20 PM

*squishes Mark back* Thanks... :) Squishes and cuddles and hugs almost always help...


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