You can tell us hun.
It might help to write about it.
It just might be some of us won't know what to say :(

Helen - You're gonna regret saying that, you know.
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I just... people suck, you know. Like, there's this group of people where I used to be at uni (don't even know if I can go back there yet) and they want to kill my mate, and everyone who associates with her. Seeing as I let her stay at mine on the night they were looking for her and would have killed her had we not been inside and one of the security guards been warned about her. I can't see any more people die, you know? My cousin already killed herself, I'd destroy myself if anyone else went through that, I really would.
I dunno, maybe I should make a thread about it, but even though I'm nowhere near them. I'm ****ing terrified of them being out there when I go out, so I just can't go out.

Stupid problem, much?

It's far from a stuipd problem.
Believe me.
I know how scared you are right now.
*snuggles*
Have you told someone about this?

The police back there know, but they're absolutely useless. I mean, there was a time when my mate had been stabbed by these cunts and the police turned up 5 hours later.
Uni knows, but the only thing they're going to offer me is extra credit in the exams I've failed already regardless, so what's the point??

gods, I'm freaking out about posting this on here, and this is the one place I feel safe. How can I survive if I'm not safe anywhere I try and open up???

Sorry, I'm freaking out majorly right now.

Hmmm.
I hope they will take it seriously this time.
It's okay to feel freaked out x

They haven't. They won't. Last time they were outside MY window, eating doughnuts and drinking coffee. I didn't go and say anything because I assumed there was another unit at my mate's house.
But, if they don't respond when she's been stabbed, what are they going to respond to???

And I probably lost 2 bracelets in the process, cause they were being sent to the adress I got forced out of. damn it. >.<

Sorry...

It's fine hun.

The police are so DAMM sucky at times.

This makes me dread contacting them anytime soon :S

Sorry I'm not saying that much.

Don't worry about it sweetie. You've got your own stuff to deal with.
Gods though, sent an email to my tutor just now, me being slightly drunk, not a good idea. *sigh* ah well. Police, and people trying to kill me will be fine though, they're apparently on the case.

Maybe your tutor can support you or get you support hun
*snuggles*
Be carefulw ith alcohol xxx

Wouldn't have touched the stuff because I've had issues with it recently, but my parents made me. Got all my issues out in the open with my tutor though.

All I want to do now is feel something, cut. But I'm so close to 3 months, I can't. Can I??

Glad you spoke to your tutor and got it out.
Hun it's your decision.
I know how hard it is deciding when you're doing so well xx

I know, I know it's my decision. But, I was supposed to be going to the US in July, and I can't because of my SI. I haven't told my tutor WHY I can't go yet, and I'm dreading it more than anything I've dreaded in my life before.
Even when he made me talk in front of people and I almost passed out. I almost managed a year without him knowing. I wish I could say more here, but it's the VPW, I can't say what I want.

No worries Hells - anytime - yep I am pretty tired - managed to get about 40 mins this afternoon though so thats cool - drank loads of water and feel ok now. I'm not surprised you feel the way you do hun, but i dont want to say anything on here - you know I am thinking fo you though.

She's doing ok - they haven;'t mentioned letting her out at all yet, but she seemed a bit more with it today and actually spoke a bit which was good.
sorry about your hangover- hows the studying going? your'e not wierd - you're wonderful - take care xxx

I'll have a hug and send one to you to. Sounds like you are having a rough time - i think it's good that you e-mailed your tutor - the more people you have looking out for you the better. If i can ever help with anything - even just listening please let me know.

Huggles to you - they wouldn't be happy as it is their job to keep you safe - Monday might seem like a long wait - but it will come quickly - I'm hoping you meet someone there that you really feel you can connect with and confide in - I'll be thinking of you.


Hugs to everyone else that pops in - I'm thinking of you all. xxx

*needs to be dead already*

Uh Oh. I kinda feel bad cause I'm feeling good. Don't stone me please?

I'm a bit sunburned. My hands are actually dry enough that I'm using lotion on them. That happens to me like maybe 4 times a year. Found a great fabric for the quilt for my house! Indian petroglyph's/pictographs tan on a sand background. Should go well with my dusty blue and dusty green bandanna fabrics.

Three sets of ruins from the 1600's, churches from when the Franciscans helped Spain colonize the area, aka convert the heathens and have them build a big church as part of civilizing them. One of the rock walls was 5.5 feet thick best as I can figure!

Holed up in our motel room in a suburb of Albuquerque, with the air conditioning on!

I won't stone u hun.

Sounds like you're having a good time :)

*hides again*

I am glad you're having a good time Blondie-Mom. There is nothing wrong with that at all.

*snuggles Helen*
Sweetie, I don't want you dead, please:crying: I am so sorry you're feeling so awful, physically, emotionally, and psychologically... Please try and get some help, some advice, with all of it... And not just from us because while we care we can't do a whole lot. *cuddles*
---------------
Ugh I feel crap. Was just thinking I don't want to go to therapy on Monday. I don't want to go because of last time. He made me feel bad (which I know wasn't his intent). I want to tell him that. I want to tell him that it seemed to me he had taken what I said personally, and he shouldn't have. I want to tell him that I had really needed to go in that day and talk about the session before and instead we spent most of the time trying to fix that... That I felt like I was trying to make sure he understood, that there wasn't anything personal about what I said, and wanted to make sure I hadn't hurt his feelings, that he was ok. And that I went home afterwards (though I only had an hour before work and shouldn't have wasted the gas) and cut, deeply, and faster than I ever have... I mean, it usually takes me a couple goes to get that deep... I want to just go and throw a fit for a bit... It isn't my job to make sure I didn't hurt his feelings... And while I know that wasn't what he wanted, I thought he knew me well enough to know that's what I'd do... That's what I would focus on, was making sure the misunderstanding got cleared up and that he understood... And what I really needed that Friday was to talk about Mondays session four days before. I was a complete mess, suicidal, feeling like I might need to be in hospital but SO not wanting it... And I feel like I spent a good thirty minutes trying to defuse a misunderstanding that he took personally.
But... I don't want to tell him all this. I'm a psychology student, I've taken some counselling methods classes... And I know that, should they decide that they're not a good fit that they'll just drop you or refer you... I don't think that's a case, I think we've done well together for the past 8 1/2 months... I just think this is a bump... But maybe he won't feel that way if I tell him all this... Maybe he'll dump me or refer me... I don't like new people, I want to put that off... I'm comfortable with him, he may not believe it but he's SO good at getting stuff out of me I don't want to tell... So safe I go in determined not to discuss something and then find myself in the middle of it..

I'm sorry, I'm rambling now... I just feel awful and thinking of this coming Mondays session hasn't helped... Massively triggered and I also need to go to bed as I am exhausted.

I'm sorry, I know you all have your own stuff and this is all very stupid...:crying:

*returns to her corner and, curling up as tightly as she can, cries herself to sleep*

Please... Make it stop...:crying:

*jumps onto ally and cuddles her*

Sounds like u need some tlc...:P so *jems gives u some tlc* hehe

Hang in there!! Things will improve, just a bad patch i guess....:) tc there..i hope we speak despite the time

*Hugs everyone*