It might help you in a way other things haven't. A friend of mine went to a similar place & seems to be doing much better as a result. Sure she still has bad days, but doesn't everyone? :( Also you're not a pathetic bitch sweetheart :(

updated r/v... gonna curl up in the closet corner with a plushie and cry now...

*cuddles Crimson* Didn't understand all of your recentest post but it sounds like you're going through a lot of **** right now... wish I could make it better for you... :( *holds you gently and rocks* Maybe play some WoW to get away from it all for a bit?? sorry if that's crap advice, the best I could come up with at the moment. :(

*huggles Hels* Yeh I suppose you're right... I don't know though, I don't feel like I deserve treatment like that or am even sick enough... I suppose I could try applying though, or at least calling and finding out how long their waiting lists are. :( How are you doing tonight, love?

*hides in her hole* :'(

wow, I've only been gone a few hours and nobody's left here, ah well, guess I might actually force myself to bed.

Hey April, I agree with Helen, it could be worth a try.

*hugs Kahlia* don't worry about the holes hun. I don't like mondays or tuesdays either never mind the WTF days

*hugs Helen* I know you aren't saying everything, I don't mind, I'm just trying to help with what you are saying, if want me to shut up and go away I will.

wishes everyone sweet dreams and a pleasant sleep and anyone who lives in the other hemisphere I hope the day is going okay

I don't want to go to bed because then I have to deal with tomorrow and I've only just got through today, I want a bit of a break first before having to start again, but there's no such thing.

*sits in a corner on her own, rocking and crying, even though she knows that she has no good reason to feel like this and should stop being so pathetic*

*hugs Hannah (?)* What's up, sweetie? You give more than you take... so I figure it is your turn to let us know what's going on in that head of yours... if you don't want to though, that's okay too. Just know that we're here to listen/support. *holds you gently*

I spy a Crimson. *extra-special cuddles*

*cuddles back* you do deserve treatment.

I can't even leave work for another 1.5 hrs (not like I'm being productive in the least...) then I have to go to the store, then home to cook dinner, etc etc... on the upside, tonight is chicken kiev so i can use the meat tenderizer to get some frustration out.
Though now I'm curious where i lost you in the post...

*hugs april* i think that it is worth a try too. I mean, you never know what will work. Im sorry that you've been feeling so badly. Ive been reading your r/v thread... I wish i could say something to make you feel better hun. But you arent pathetic or stupid or anything like that, i promise.

*cuddles crimson* i read your r/v thread too. Sounds like a bad situation with your rent and landlord and whatnot :-( Money issues can be such a b*tch...

*hugs hannah* I hope that your tomorrow goes okay and that you sleep well hun.

*hugs helen, mark, julie, kahlia, hayley, lindsay, taz, oliver, and everyone else*

Well i have the cleanest apartment in all the land. I havent eaten all day though... i really should, i cant tell if i'm hungry or not though.
*goes back into hiding*

The bit about section 8 got me confused, as I don't know what that is. (Perhaps I ought to? dunno... :-S) The rest made sense. :) I'm sorry that you can't leave work for so long, and have so much to do... that sucks. :( Thinking of you and sending you cuddles, though!! ♥

Laura!! *tackle squishes* :) How are you, love? It's OKAY to talk about how you're doing, and I do not want to hear another "fine" for the rest of my days... lol... that word is so effing overused - everyone overuses it, not just here - I HATE IT. Haha. Although I know that I use it as well... I'm glad your apartment is clean... but not eating is NOT good. Whether you are hungry or not, you should get something to eat. Please, sweetie? *cuddles tight*

Section 8 is a HUD program that gives rent assistance to low income families.
*puts on invisibility cloak*

*curls up and cries*

I can't do this :(

thanks, ach I'm okay I'm just tired and scared that all I will ever do is fail. I need to kick myself up the bum and tell myself to just get on with it cos otherwise I wont get what I want, but I have no strength or confidence left.

thanks April *hugs back* you deserve to feel better and maybe res can help, who knows?

*hugs Laura back* thanks, yay clean apartment, you should try and eat something whether you're hungry or no

*hugs crimson* I've never used a meat tenderiser, or made chicken kievs for that matter. Hope you manage to vent the frustration successfully

*hugs Helen* yes you can, you definitely can

anyway shower and bed, that'll give me about 6 hours sleep - hmm... ah well, night everyone, stay safe

*falls over from being tackled by April* ok ok i wont say fine.. lol... um.. i dont really know how i am though.. Kind of lonely i guess. There isnt too many people to hang out with right now. I am going home on friday for about a week and half, which will either be really good or really bad.. u never know what my family. Oh.. and I'll maybe try to make some food in a little bit. *hugs*

*cuddles helen* you can do this hun. I'm sorry you're not doing well. PM me if u want/need to talk.

I'm sorry for sounding like a broken record =(

i dont wanna go to work!
y today grrrrr
...sorry bad mood

*sits*
it's my doing nothing day *grumbles, looks at the floor*
i isnt going to cry coz it's a stupid reason to cry it's just work
*kicks things* i hate work

*cuddles with Julie*
It's ok to cry. I'll cry with you.

*snuggles into crimson and sniffles*

How I wish I could cry... :( The only crying I do is on here...

Just tried dual-boxing with WoW - i.e., having two WoW games/accounts playing on the same computer at the same time. I had a lot of glitches... maybe I'll try again tomorrow? :-/ I really wanted to whiz my little priest on my RAF account through some quests so she can get caught up with my lowest level on my main account so I can get the triple experience points, etc.

Anyway. That's what I've been doing since supper to get my mind off anxiety/purging. :(

*hides in her hole for the night* :'(

*offers hugs to april*

*offers hugs to anyone, then hides in a dark corner under a blanket*

*waves and offers hugs to taz*

*hugs julie & goes back into hiding*
How're you doing Julie?

i want to say fine....
but in bad bad mood

i wanna go sit in the rain

*watches the rain*

Aw :( Why the bad mood? Dancing in the rain is fun... I always love going for walks in the rain.

i have to go into work today
and i hate work but also it mess up my whole day and i'm missing 2 fitness class coz of stupid work

ok i no thats a stupid reason to be in a bad mood

Aw crappy :( I've always disliked work, especially shifts in the middle of the day. If it helps, try thinking of the money and the things you can buy with it :) Some days, that's the only thing that keeps me going.

*curls up* it's only 3 and a half hours so it's hardly even worth it

i hate wearing wet clothes so i just wanna go sit in the rain and deal with it

Just been left on my own again so would like to come and sit back in herre if thats OK. *crys scilently*

*huggles/waves at everybody*

Had good session with my psychiatrist. Yay.
Got medications that would normally cost me over $100 for $5.40 as I got them on a Hospital script at the Hospital Pharmacy.
My medications also got altered a bit which will reduce the amount of tablets I'm taking.
Hopefully this will make them easier to take at night.
My psychiatrist believed me about the DID and gave me some tips and some light at the end of the tunnel.

Now I just have to last the rest of the day . . . *sigh*

*leaves cuddles*
*curls up with teddy and sighs*

*huggles to all who want them*

yay kahlia I'm glad the psych appointment went well :)

*sigh* sorry guys the individual replies just aren't happening *feels rotten and selfish*

work is horrible I've just spent the last two days wanting to cry and surrounded by people so I have to pretend that everything's ok.

gotta go to work :(

*hugs Heather*
*hugs Hannah* - I'm really glad it (the psych appointment) went well too ... was really worried about it. Sorry things haven't been good.

Just watched a movie.
Now got some stuff to do.

Meh.

*hugs/waves at everyone*

*curls up small*

* Hags Ward mates good morning , afternoon , night wherever they are*

My housing support worker is here in 17 minutes , Maybe he'll stop the power company sending debt recovery agency's after me :S

*sniffles*

Hey Julie :) How are you this evening ?

i'm fine... mhmm

Sure you're fine? Hmmm Have a *Hug* from me if ok :)

*pops in, gives everyone hugs & then hides*

Ahhh, finally got my letter for JSA!!! Ugh, bastards won't backdate it but least I'm getting it?? :)

So my Houseing support worker came today , rang E-on , they said they were waiting for some readings so they could estimate a bill for me and to ignore the threatening letter ( Can't ignore the scar it made me do ) . then 30 minutes afteer my hsw left and a New bill drops onto my floor from e-on saying it's the estimated one for £1378.05 . What the Crap! , I'm so sickof this now it's been going on too long , I'm triggered and shaking , need to go out get away from tools ....:(

*Hugs Helen* I'm glad you got your JSA letter , hopefully you can quickly get your pills for dizzyness now ?

*snuggles into mark*

*huggles all then jumps down one the holes left in the floor by other wardies and hides under a pile of earth*

Hi Owen*Waves*

it's 19 past midnight

Good morning everyone...

*waves to Owen* Heya love, how are you? and how's Julie?

*cuddles Mark* I'm sorry to hear about the bill, that's utter bullshit. Especially after it seemed they'd gotten it sorted!! But maybe they hadn't time to enter it into their system or whatever before the post went out? I'm glad that you're going on a walk... enjoy the fresh air and try not to fantasize about SI. (Easier said than done, I know!! *hugs tight*)

*cuddles Hels* YEY for the JSA letter!! (although I haven't a clue what "JSA" stands for, lol) I'm glad that it came, finally. I know you've been waiting for that for awhile. Can't you get the iron pills in a pharmacy without a script? because that's how it is over here, they're just another supplement. But I don't know about the UK, things are oddly different over there... lol. :) Hope you're feeling a bit better... sending more cuddles your way!! :D

*cuddles Kat* What's up, sweetie?

I'm really tired... urgh. It's just past 8am here and I have stuff I need to do but I don't want to do any of it. I slept fitfully from 4am-6am so yeah... am pretty sleepy at the mo. Yuck. And I need to be awake/alert to get this stuff done... don't want to do a sloppy job of it all!! :(

I have a dentist's appt tomorrow morning, am worried about that - it's that filling that needs to get done, the one that the anaesthetic wouldn't work on. I'm scare.d It's with a different dentist, the more experienced one, so I hope that he will have better luck with the Novocaine. :-S I don't want to even THINK about going through all of that pain for this filling and another one. :'(

Am thinking about calling the res places today where I'm thinking of going (to one of course, not all three, lol) to see how long their waiting lists are. If they're long enough then I'll start applying or say that I can't come until July anyway... I don't know... feel so stupid. :'( And I hate making phone calls!!!!

Feeling like ****... per usual. Make it stop, make it go away........... :'(