There are some grants available for covering costs of medical treatment. They might be able to provide financial support for you to attend therapy. If you Google it it comes up with a few options s and you can find some that might be suitable.

Have you ever felt like the CMHT or anyone at all understood how bad things are/have been? What methods of communication have you tried? Have you ever copied things you've written here and showed them to someone? I hear you loud and clear but maybe we do because we can empathise at least partly. Are you trying not to act on what is stuck in your head? I know how overwhelming things like that can be.

I can not find a grant which will cover private medical treatment.

Sometimes people have got it. But I mostly feel swept under the carpet.

I was thinking more about them covering the lost wages you'd be without if you did the therapy the CMHT is offering. I mean really, they should be the ones finding this out for you. I don't exactly understand why they are not. They've reccommended a treatment so should be offering alternantive financial options for you to be able to do it...

I can't do this anymore. And where are services when I need them? Of course there's no one. It's not ok. I'm not ok. Nothing is ok.

Thinking of you. What have CMHT actually said?

Changing the subject, did you mean the fireworks at Mount Batten? I could hear them too.

Nothing. They say nothing because they are never available when I am because that would be too simple.

Dunno where you mean cpt.

Opposite Plymouth Hoe

Don't know what to suggest but *love and hugs*

I phoned and tried to call my cpn yesterday. Haven't heard anything back :(

I'm glad you managed to phone but it's not great that you didn't manage to get through to her and haven't had a call back yet. I hope she can get back to you soon. How are you doing?

I'm broken beyond repair. I am broken.

You're hurting, you're not broken. I understand the feeling though. Do you know what you want to say to your CPN?

I’m sorry things are so tricky. I know different trusts will have different resources etc. But they *should* be able to offer you something. I have DBT completely one to one through the CMHT because I couldn’t take time out of work to attend the group. It isn’t perfect; fortnightly 45 min sessions and I still have to leave work earlier so I miss meetings, but they said I needed DBT and they found the best way they could to get me it. If there is a time you know you would be able to make therapy sessions, are you able to ask your CPN if there’s any chance of arranging some therapy for that time of the week, and explaining again why it needs to be then and why you feel you need it? (Maybe sometimes they need it spelling out to them?)

Cpn is talking to high ups about funding for counselling out of hours.

I'm struggling to cope after my pain clinic appointment. I can not deal with this illness. I can not deal with being in constant pain until I die. I cn not deal with always being exhausted and sleeping away most of my free time. I am not this person. And I cant deal with it.

How are you doing today Lillie? I'm sorry your pain clinic appointment made it harder for you to cope. Was anything useful suggested at the appointment? I'd hope that these things that you don't want in your life won't be there forever or they won't have the same kind of affect on you forever. I'm glad your CPN is talking to people about funding for out of hours counselling, fingers crossed something gets sorted.

Nothing useful was suggested. Nothing useful is ever suggested. Everyone belittles my pain. I'm shit and I'm struggling.

No words, but big hugs.

If it means anything I don't think anyone here is belittling your pain, I'm definitely not, chronic pain is an absolute f*cker to live with, however I do believe that ultimately you, me and others will learn to live with it, or at least work round it to have pleasure in life, even if when it's at it's worst it doesn't seem that way.