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A cookie?
Nice warm bkanket? Chance to see Milly afgter work? Awwwww, I love you Alex. Seriously. |
I hate myself.
*cries and hides with Alex* |
*soothes* no no you dont...
Its ok hun... You can get through this yeh? Im still here... Keep fighting with me yeh? you cant give up now.. you're doing SO well!! *hugs* |
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A message....from Millie :]
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*is trying to keep fighting and going*
I have awesome people in my life. |
All the more reason to keep up the brilliant work ^_^
Take care sweety xxxxxxx |
I'm sorry I went offline last night, I just crashed and slept. Helen you know I think you are an amazing person. I will text you in a bit after I have packed. I don't know yet exactly what happened last night/early this morning but I can guess. Please don't be too hard on yourself about it either. You are doing really well, seriously!
*hugs Alexx* |
Heya everyone, How ya all doing??
Sorry i haven't posted in here for a while but i thought i'd let ya all know i'm not gonna be around for a few weeks, i'm taking a break so i can try and sort myself out so please take care everyone xx *Hugs all round* |
I don't see how I'm doing well....oh well.
>.< My thumb hurts....making me wonder if it's infected |
I've had it. I try to patch things up after having the possibility of it mentioned to me and what for? Helen, you can forget it.
I can't be f*cked anymore. Not with you. Not with any of it. It's all so f*cking pointless. Let's all up sticks and live in log cabins for all the good people do in the world. |
What have I supossed to have done wrong now? Actually, no take this to pm if you have a problem with me.
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Meep
*curls up really small.* *fades away* |
*curls up with Alex*
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*Hugs Alex & Helen*
Evening all, Been a good weekend so I have baked double chocolate cake, I love choclate and have a slice for all. Liz |
Hey Liz...
*takes a slice then hides* I dont deserve it...but thankyou *huggles* |
Bless you Liz
*takes slice of cake... mmm, chocolate... and curls up small in a corner* I hope the mess between Carole and Helen has been taken to PM... I love you both however I am not able to handle it at the moment... This place is supposed to be safe for those of us who are feeling particularly vulnerable, for everyone. *hugs everyone that needs it* I hope you all are well... Me? I've cut so deeply on my hand I know I found a bone or tendon... Felt rather weird and so I didn't go any farther... Don't think I did any permanent damage :pinch: Stay safe all *curls up in her corner with her stuffed lamb and blanket* |
*Hugs Ally tight*
Stay safe sweety...I hope you're ok... |
*crawls in*
*secures a long term spot in the denial tent* la la laaahhhhhh.... |
*hugs Alex, Ally, Liz, Emma*
I love you guys. Well, I don't really know what's going to happen between us, but I promise it'll stay to PM's because it's not fair on everyone in here. I know a lot of us are struggling atm, me included. I love you all guys :) Thanks for the cake. I feel so bloody ill tonight, might be run down or something? |
i'm going to watch some triggering videos on the internet...seeing as I can't DO anything...I might as well use the visualisation techniques my counsellor taught me in a more...useful way...
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*snuggles Helen and Alexx*
I am sorry Helen, about the turn of events as far as you and Carole go... Alexx, sweetie, please be careful... Watching those videos is probably not a good idea (this is the pot, calling the kettle black)... *wraps you in a warm, safe blanket and watches out for you* |
I changed my mind...last minute...but i still feel down...
I cant f***ing do this >< I dont see the point in trying anymore... Im crying out...and no one is listening... I dont see why I should bother... I cant smile anymore... I've never felt so low... So...horribly...low... All I ever wanted...was to make people proud of me... |
We're listening.
I feel so ****. Oh well. I think I really have lost her....and I've lost who I am on the way :( |
who have you lost?
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A friend of mine, known her for 7 years this year.
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:( oh no sweety
*hugs* |
It's my own ****ing fault.
She told me on msn she was bored, so I told her to go cut herself. HELLO? WHO THE **** IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD SAY THAT? I know I did it at the time to annoy her, cus she annoys me so much. She just uses me most of the time and whines how mch she wants to drink or whatever and it's like WTF? I don't even trust myself to drink and it's alright for her to say she wants to get drunk. She's not the one who took 6 painkillers (well not in one go...and I got got given 4 at A&E) and then ****ing drank alcohol too, had the courage to tell Jane stuff, and then go into college with a near hangover.... |
maybe..talk to her?
or...if she uses you...you're better off without her... im sorry *hugs* |
Alexx sweetie, I am proud of you for resisting the temptation to watch those triggering videos. I wish I had more for you... I wish I could tell you there was a reason to go on... I have been told that there is and I have no choice but to assume those who have told me this are correct... Please remember how much we love you here...
Helen, I'm sorry sweetie, about your friend... How have you lost her? Oh... Dear, I think Alexx might be right, if she uses you you might be better off without her... You might consider talking to her about the cutting comment though... *hugs for strength* *snuggles you both into warm, comfy blankets* Ugh, my hand hurts SO bad :-( I cut way too deep... Was feeling more than just pain, it was weird... But I can use my hand anyway so I suppose no worries, right? My whole hand aches though :pinch::crying:... I f**king suck :pinch: |
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*huggles Ally*
Please dont be proud of me.. please dont... I'll let you down.. No one should...or is proud of me... I dont deserve it |
Alexx hunni I will be proud of you, I AM proud of you... And if you let me down (which I doubt you will as it would take a lot to let me down) it's no big deal... All of us slip up and all that. That's what's great about friends and love... It doesn't matter.
Helen no, you don't deserve to lose her. I think if she truly uses you then probably you're better off without her... What you said was not something all that appropriate but it was spoken out of anger, frustration, and hurt... And we all do that. It sucks and I know I tend to beat myself up over it... But that doesn't mean we deserve anything bad... I don't believe that's how life works... *snuggles you both* As for my hand... Well I can't go any where till the health centre opens and there's someone there who can deal with an injury like this... And they don't usually show up till around 10 or so... And by then it's been at least 17 hours since the cut was made, 5 hours late for sutures... So all I'll get is a lecture and probably a counselling session with someone I don't know as my therapist is out of town the beginning of the week... |
I am proud of you, no matter whether you've cut or not, slip ups happen, but we just have to get back up, dust ourselves off and coutinue....not easy though I kow.
I miss Callie, she needs to come home already. I miss both Emma's actually =[ I miss my dad and nephew soooooo much *sobs* |
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I wish I could say something about your hand hun, please take care of it, least til you can get it seen. xx |
im sick of crying.
*hugs Ally and Helen* I wish these were real hugs :crying: |
Yeah, I miss my RYL twin and our Emmas too...
*sigh* Helen, I wish I could convince you that you don't deserve to lose her... I don't believe that you do but I suppose what really matters is what you believe... *snuggles* Alexx sweetie, I'm sorry you're tired of crying... Maybe pretend some tears are for me as I rarely cry even when I'd like to..? *snuggles you* I wish they were real hugs too... As for my hand... I don't know if it's worth having it seen... If they can't stitch it it just seems like it'd be more trouble than it's worth... Ugh, but I'm such an idiot... I SIGN for heaven sake, I want to work with Deaf, signing individuals... I f**ck up my hand it's over :crying: |
Ally...maybe you could use that as encouragement to stop?
When you feel like it..just think about what you want to do...signing...and then...try focus on that and find another way to get rid of the pain? Check me out...Miss.Hypo-frickin-crite....all this great advice...yet i dont use it... psht |
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I'm slowly realising that I don't deserve to lose her. I think at the moment, I'm just digusted at what I said...? You're not an idoit, I have hurt my hand and signed before- obviously the damage wasn't as bad, maybe use it as a motivational tool not to cut there hun pls? xxx |
im tired.
I ache. I wanna OD why am i still here? |
*snuggles Alexx*
I hope you managed to stay safe sweetie... Yeah, y'all are right this worry better serve as a reminder that maybe my hand is not the best place to cut... Especially deeply... *sigh* I can't sleep :pinch: |
*HUGS everybody*
Sorry, i haven't been there for anybody..must be a time difference doh..but hope everybody is okies :-) |
*hugs*
So my friend is talking to me, thank god for that. My appointment letter came through, they lied to me AGAIN. They told me they'd make one for me, I was NOT told I had to make it myself. **** it, I'm not going. |
Helen, I am glad to hear your friend is talking to you again. As for your appointment, I am sure that is frusterating but maybe you should still go sweetie...
*still hugging you from the other night :-D* Well damn... I've got an appointment to get my hand looked at in two hours... Will probably miss both of my classes this morning as ones at 09:00 and the others at 10:00... Oh well, I was kind of feeling to tired to go any way... But this isn't good for this term... I have to do well and finish uni and already it isn't feeling like it's possible... :crying: |
*hugs Ally* I have belief in you to do well hun, I know it's been a struggle lately though.
Yeah it's good about my friend. But another one just half started a row with me, so have blocked her so I don't say anything I might regret. >.< |
Lalalaaaa...
Im fine no shes not yes i am no shes not .... :/ |
I'm not okay.
Far from it. Why did I have to realise? |
*hugs Helen and Alexx*
Don't have anything for y'all atm, just please remember that I love you and think you're worth while... Hand didn't get stitched and I only got a slightly nauseiating lecture so I suppose all could have been worse... of course he really didn't ask me before he decided to add another medication but that's not uncommon with him... |
Will someone tell me what reality is please?
I want to die. |
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I live in my own head... In my own fantasy... But please dont die :crying: you've helped me soooo much hun *hugs* |
dont see the point anymore. f*cking scared of what doc will say. f*cking frustrated with everything else. dont care anymore
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