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-   -   Beyond repair. (http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=248931)

chinahorse 18-05-2019 06:52 PM

I'm too tired to fight myself anymore.

one_step_closer 18-05-2019 07:13 PM

People are offering you help, I know it's not going to make you feel amazing and 100% better etc but it's a start. Being kind to yourself would be much better for you than fighting yourself but I understand how hard that can be too. If there's something you think you need please try and let someone know.

chinahorse 18-05-2019 09:31 PM

Why is everyone angry with me?

tamobhuuta 18-05-2019 09:35 PM

Have people said they are angry with you?

chinahorse 18-05-2019 09:50 PM

People have implied it. The registrar on the ward told me to stop wasting time and get a hobby outside of work. The consultant said he needs my bed and is sending me home tonight. I've been honest. I've said I will probably do it again.

nonperson 18-05-2019 10:12 PM

It's not that they're angry, it's that they don't understand. Are you still seeing HTT?

chinahorse 18-05-2019 10:17 PM

They seemed angry. The triage nurse in a and e seemed angry. People keep telling me I don't want to die but I change between wanting to and not wanting to and no one understands how horrible that is. I feel so horribly alone.

Yeah am seeing htt tomorrow morning. Tempted to ring them now. I feel hideous and like I can't cope.

nonperson 18-05-2019 10:20 PM

I think you should ring them now. You need someone to talk to that understands your situation and although they might not understand as such at least they know how to deal with it and offer you help.

Don't worry about what other people are thinking, they might seem angry but it's because they don't know what other emotion to present when faced with something they don't understand. They are treating you and that's all you need to be concerned about.

Eska 18-05-2019 11:18 PM

^ everything np says is wise

nonperson 18-05-2019 11:30 PM

Hope you're getting on ok. <3

If you want to keep chatting to distract then I'll probably be around for a while, if that would help.

chinahorse 18-05-2019 11:58 PM

I rang the crisis team 45 mins ago. And they still haven't called me back.

nonperson 19-05-2019 12:02 AM

Try again, maybe?

Auror. 19-05-2019 01:48 AM

It could also be that they are angry or frustrated with the mental health team/system there for failing you. It sucks to be in that situation and I am glad you got medical treatment. Thinking of you.

chinahorse 19-05-2019 09:03 AM

The crisis team came to see me last night. Arranged for me to stay in hospital overnight. I'm on a random orthopaedic ward. I need to go home now as they have none of my tablets.

nonperson 19-05-2019 11:52 AM

I'm glad they came to see you. Were they helpful?

How are you now being back at home?

chinahorse 19-05-2019 12:04 PM

She was nice. I was in too much of a state for anything to be more helpful than the nurse who just sat and held my hand and chatted.

nonperson 19-05-2019 12:07 PM

It's good you had someone there with you though. Hopefully that was reassuring.

Heartbreak Kid 20-05-2019 05:29 AM

I am glad the nurse kept you some company.
I am sorry people made you feel bad for getting help. Sounds like they don't fully understand why things are the way they are and that you can't just not feel the way you feel.

I miss you too. <3

Thank you for trying your best to fight this and look after yourself. That must be really hard to do & I appreciate you are doing it because you mean a lot to me and I wish I could make you feel better.

one_step_closer 20-05-2019 05:45 PM

How are you today? Sending lots of love.

chinahorse 26-05-2019 03:08 PM

I feel very overwhelmed and want to blood let.


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