*Squishes Charlie* I'm sorry you are having urges , could you get rid of your tools before you get another urges , Into the River (With your phone :P) or flush them ? Start trying the techniques again , going From 1st to last ?

*Night time Hugs my Wardies*

I have got rid of my blades, but I can get new ones. And I want to. I don't care about it anymore. I just need it now. I can manage tonight, but tomorrow morning.....I'm looking forward to this. Does that make me sick?
*Night time Hugs Mark*

It just gets hard. We all go through difficult times. tell yourself that you are better than that; that you are strong because you are we wouldn't have you any other way and we loooovvveee you

*SQUISH*

*Hugs Charlie* You've done so well, you've managed to earn yourself your 1 month free bracelet :)

****. My friend is asking my really awkward questions. She saw my legs today. I haven't cut, but I had written in black marker everything I think about myself. I was wearing a dress but it's knee length and I had tights on so I thought it would be okay but now she's asking about them...

Exactly Lia so I deserve a little relax right?

I just don't want you to regret it so much you do something stupid or just generally feel like ****.

Great all I could think of to reply to my friend's text asking about the writing on my legs was 'well this racoon came in and it was possessed by a piece of Voldermort's soul, so as I was innocently changing for school it came at my with my marker pen from my whiteboard and began a vicious attack. I fought it off but I was already late for school so I had to go with it." That's even worse than the excuse 'I'm baking a hedghog for Prince Charles' anniversary'.

It's just....I'm getting to the point again that i'm having so many urges to self harm which I have to fight, I'm getting suicidal again.

I like that actually! :) you are fine. that is better than actually hurting yourself

NO CHARLIE *tackles and smothers in armes* pleeeeeeeeeeaaaassssseee dooonnnnttttt! :(

Thats My point....it's like, the lesser of two evils. I can't fight both...

If you really feel you need to, no one was expecting you to go cold turkey. You can come off the self harm slowly. Do it once a day, then twice a week, then once a week, twice a month, once a month etc.

I am loving wearing my one month free but...I don't want to go back to being a suicidal mess, or worse-making attempts and even maybe succeeding. Self harms just more....safe?

It is. But you can beat this permently. You just have to do it slowly. I won't stop you if you feel it's best for you, because as you said, the alternative is worse. I just don't want you to beat yourself up over it. Like I said, come off slowly, become less dependant bit my bit.

Maybe I will feel better in the morning though. Hopefully. The longer I can manage the better. I wanted to wear short sleeves tomorrow if the weather was the same as it was today. 18 degrees here.

thats the spirit!

*g'night hugs Mark*
That's the spirit Charlie *extra squishy huggles*
I like your answer *glomps Lia*
*hugs Megz*

Thanks guys *Cuddles*
I'm not completley sure about the short sleeves. I would love to but....

elbow gloves?

Well my friend didn't buy it, but she gave me credit for the creativity.

Depends how many people know about your self harm and how comfortable you are with it Charlie.

I don't have any, and half the point would be to finally let people from college see my scars. As soon as I left college today I took my jumper off and was fine, but at college theres just something stopping me and I don't know what.
Sorry Lia, double posting. Not many people know..at least I don't think they do... i'm not very comfortable but I want to become comfortable.

I'm here :) just hair straightening, getting in my jammies, writing etc. Not all at the same time.

Hmm...You could wear short sleeves and take a jacket, that way you can pick and chose throughout the day.

Yeah, I just can't be botherd to carry it around all day.
I should go to sleep soon. I want to ask someone from college what they think, but I don't want a bad reaction right now :/

Is there anyone you know would take it fine? Like Sophie?

All my friends would take it fine, but they'd be biased. I think I might wear my jumper but roll my sleeves up.

thats a good Idea! off topic, what is your major?

Charlie, I know how hard what your goin through right now is! I'm very proud of you!

To whom it may concern: I ate half a banana!!! First food I've had since Sunday before last Sunday!!!

Yay Solo!
Good plan Charlie!

*hugs everyone* Good Night to all my fellow wardies!

*SQUEEZZ Solo* YAAAAY :D

umm... can I talk about something :/

Thanks Megz! Of course you can!

ok. so I am a black belt in karate. when we get to black belt we learn knife defenses. I was working on them in class today and it made me feel.... I don't know how to explain. almost like I could use a real knife to hurt someone.... this is why I posted in the psych ward to begin with and I just hate this feeling.

OK rant done

That's awesome Megz! My son is a green belt. He's worked on knife defense too. I can definitely understand it givin ya that feeling, but we all know you're not gonna do that so don't sweat it huney!

*hugs ward*

Thanks! I jusst get freaked out sometimes. *Hugggzzzz Solo*

*Huggles Wardies* normally I would still be up but I need to get up early tomorrow so night all!

*Cuddles everyone*

*Hugs Charlie*
*Hugs Megz*
*Hugs Lia*
*Hugs Crimson*
*Hugs Solo* Thats great hun !
*Hugs Felicia*

I hope we all have a decent day today :)

*hugs everyone*

So this is the news for Kahlia Housemate Copy and pasted
"Kahlia has improved a lot over the last week and they have drastically changed her meds on her. I can't remember all the meds they have now put her on, but they took her of a medication that had the potential to cost in excess of $200 a month without any rebates available. Ouch! Good riddance I say. It didn't appear to work all that well for her anyway. Now they have set target doses on the new meds and they are already showing signs of working. We are hoping that it wasn't just an enviromental mood lift by my going up there, but also a partial chemical lift. Very exciting times and at the rate that things are going, we may be looking at a release date as early as the end of next week, with her homeearly the week after, but those are only guesses at this stage. Next week should decide how this goes. ECT has been placed on a permanent backburner fo the time being whilst these drugs are given a fair chance to work. Also great news, especially for Kahlia as she really didn't want it"

He also pointed out that release dates are VERY approximate and not set in stone. So Kahlia is Getting Better :)

*Hugs Lindsay* How are you hun?

Thanks so much Crimson, Megz n Mark for your cheers of encouragement n hugs! ~Hugs you all back~

Your welcome Solo. We care about you :) *hugs*
That's great news on Kahlia, Mark. Thanks for passing it on *huggles* :)

That's okay Solo :)

It's good news yes Crimson , I am thrilled that Kahlia may be back withh us soon :)

~Huggles everyone~

*Squishes Solo* :) How are you hun?

You too Crimson? How are you ? *Hugs*

*Curls up*

*Hugs Charlie* what's up hun?

*Hugs Mark* Just everythings getting on top of me today. My friend text me earlier and said he had self harmed in the toilets at school and It needed stitches, but he wouldn't go :(