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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

shadowedsoul 30-12-2009 11:58 AM

sneaks in and curls up in corner hugging knees,hides under a blanket.need some escape need some breathing space.

Kahlia1981 30-12-2009 12:47 PM

Jocelyn - Yeah I have an appointment with him next Wednesday but I'm going to try and make it earlier. It would be good to have it on Monday.

MammaMia 30-12-2009 01:04 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Don't really have any words of support for anyone. I'm sorry. I know I should be more supportive, espically as I whinge and sound like such a broken record all the time. *sighs*

Think I have come down with a cold after all. Wish it'd make its mind up though whether I have one or not. I keep sneezing all the time, and my nose runs a bit. Ugh. Been coughing so much over last few days =( My mum has a cough, so we joked she's shared it back with me. But my throat feels so rough today :/

Can't be bothered to go to work later. Going out before I do which will probably make me want to go even less. What's the point when it's my last day tomorrow?? :( I don't even see my Dad tonight like normal. Silly man double booked himself, don't know how when he ALWAYS sees me on Wednesdays. Perhaps he's punishing me too?? For being in so much agony on Boxing day that I couldn't go out with him. If so, he doesn't need to. I can punish myself thanks. :/

My best friend is going into hopsital today. She said she'd text me in the morning before she went in. As her cousin (who's looking after her baby) will keep hold of her phone for her til tomorrow evening. But no text so far, I think I pissed her off pretty badly yesterday. God I ****ing suck. Our relationship is really rocky, espically at the moment :( Maybe some time apart will help?

Sorry, I really didn't intend to make a post to whine. I'm so sorry :(

*goes and hides*

[Awakening] 30-12-2009 01:23 PM

^ *finds and cuddles*

Absynnthe 30-12-2009 01:59 PM

Rawr. I did the bad thing. >;[

I went so long (well, 3/4/ days before xmas) without SI'ing. Fuuuuuuuucker.

*sighs and cuddles teddy*

I think my day was a little too emotional. Finding out about The Rev was the last straw, because he always wrote such amazing lyrics that helped me through so much. And he was only 28. It's not fair.

I can't believe I'm so upset about someone who I've only met once. Pathetic much.

*hugs to all*

Scarletdreamer 30-12-2009 02:25 PM

*pops in briefly*

I'll reply to posts later, am not doing well right now. REALLY REALLY REALLY want to b/p... can't do it though, can't let myself... but I want to do it so badly!! *cries* Even going on WoW didn't help that much - I kept thinking about how stupid and ugly I am and how much I need to die... or b/p...

*hides in a dark corner, hoping that no one is annoyed or angry with her*

MammaMia 30-12-2009 02:26 PM

I'm not annoyed or angry. I've got to go out, but I know how you feel honey. I'll talk to you when I'm home from work okay? *squishes* Keep strong, I know it's hard though.

*leaves cuddles for all whilst she's out with a friend and at work* xx

Scarletdreamer 30-12-2009 03:13 PM

*hugs Helen* Take care of yourself whilst you're out & about!! :)

xx

Absynnthe 30-12-2009 04:03 PM

Just had a flashback in the bath. Well, not a flashback exactly. I was in the bath and I heard my dad's voice. Really clearly. He said "Hello, my dove." Oh jeeez, I'm shaking so much.

sorry, pointless.

=xSexyOrangeCandyx= 30-12-2009 04:42 PM

*checks in until i move out of my dads house* *makes pillow fort and cuddles up to plushie and reads manga and eats pocky*

Absynnthe 30-12-2009 04:46 PM

*Wanders over to Ashley, gives pillow* :)

Welcome to the ward. ^.^

*wanders back over to own corner, starts drawing*

[Awakening] 30-12-2009 05:01 PM

^ I'm sorry about you're flashback thing hon. u drawing anything nice?

April I'm sorry you've been struggling, how is your day going?

Hi OrangeCandy, welcome to the ward. how u doing? *offers a lovely hot chocolate*

Kahlia that's great, any luck moving it to Mon? How are you feeling now?

I'm still quite triggered , feel very depressed and i get my wonderful but stressful toddler back soon. eek :/

*cuddles to all*

Absynnthe 30-12-2009 05:10 PM

^ drawing picture of rainbows. :)

Scarletdreamer 30-12-2009 05:30 PM

Eurghhh... I mini-binged at my parents' place (where I am now) and now I feel like purging... ate a lot of sugar-free stuff so hopefully that'll go through quickly. :-X I hate myself so so much... wish I never got to this place, wish I never gave in, wish I were ****ing brave enough to purge!!!

Anyway. My day's **** so far but oh well. We did see a family friend (we being my family) and that was nice. Thankfully she didn't talk about the bulimia... :-X

Erm... what else... not much. :-X

*cuddles Franz* How you doing today? besides the flashback thingummy? I would've been shaken by that too... if you need to talk any more about it we're here.

*holds Laura* I bet I sound like a broken record too... but you know what? That's OKAY!!! because this is a place to vent out what we're feeling. If it bothers people, well then, as far as it concerns me, they can just leave. May sound harsh but if you have something you need to get out - then talk about it. Either here or PM me or someone else. ♥ Your posts aren't annoying at all either nor stupid and you oughtn't shut up. :)

*hugs Kahlia* I hope that you find a good GP to talk with... or are a little clearer with your current one. I understand it being difficult to express how things are going... especially when you're feeling ill. How'd supper go? did you manage to keep anything down?

*huggles Jocelyn* What's got you triggered, love? and how old is your toddler? boy or girl? :) Oh, and what the heck is cottage pie? :P You UK'ers have so many weird foods!! lol. Or at least weird names... hehe. :)

*holds Heather* Hope you feel better soon, sweetie. Being sick is not fun at all... Do you have any plans for the day?

*hugs Horseridinbbe* (Heather?) What breaks the "rules"? eating dinner so late? In any case, self-punishing rarely does any good, so you oughtn't do it... but if you need to talk I'll be here. That sucks about the comp rules. :(

Well, my sis & dad are going for a walk so I guess I will too... fat ass... need exercise.

:(

[Fog] 30-12-2009 05:54 PM

*Waves* Sorry to see that so many of you had a difficult time yesterday. Hopefully today is a better day for you all. *Hugs for all who want them* There's so many posts that I'm behind on I won't reply individually, but I just want you to know that I did read them and I am thinking of you all.

Scarletdreamer - poor you, it's horrible when you want to purge and there's no opportunity for it. It really makes me panic. Try to keep thinking rationally about it though - like you said, most of it was sugar-free. Hopefully going on a walk will help you to feel more comfortable.

**

I'm doing ok today. Went into a nearby town this morning which went fine (except for one stolen item :-( ). My head's been pretty loud today, nothing in particular just the voices all being a bit rowdy. Wish they'd quieten down a bit. Ate a bit too much for lunch and couldn't purge because of a family board game... But I'm trying not to stress about it because rationally I know that it was hardly anything and my weight's got so low. To be honest the most likely consequence is that it will give my metabolism a boost and I'll lose more weight. Got some wool and knitting needles today to try out a new hobby!

Scarletdreamer 30-12-2009 06:06 PM

*hugs Banana* Knitting is fun although I've not gotten past halfway done my first project!! :( Oops.

I'm glad that you understand. The walk didn't help... we went so slowly that it was misery. Finally I gave up on them keeping up with me and zoomed along until I was well out of breath. I hope that it burned some of the calories that I ate... stupid stupid stupid me!!!! *cries*

Anyway. I'm glad that you didn't have time to purge... it's not good, and I know that - hard to stop the urges, and I understand the panic - but as you said, you're at a low weight so yeh. *cuddles*

Absynnthe 30-12-2009 06:09 PM

*cuddles onto April* Okay, just tired. Not bitten my nails for ages. Yay.

My rainbow is pretty. Gonna put it on my door. Ho hum.

Bit dissociated, as you might be able to tell.

*snuggles up to April and dozes*

Scarletdreamer 30-12-2009 06:22 PM

*snuggles up to Franz because she needs someone to be near her*

Just posted in my venting spot about what just happened... my family is bullshit. All bullshit. I give up.

*cries*

Absynnthe 30-12-2009 06:26 PM

:( *gives tissue and love to April*

[Fog] 30-12-2009 06:28 PM

Scarletdreamer - just read your post in your venting spot *Cuddles* That sounds so difficult for you and so frustrating. Have you ever spoken to your mum about how it all makes you feel? Try not to panic hun, you're not stupid and you're not fat and it's all gonna be ok. I can understand the frustration with walking slowly though, I hate that!! You said there was a lot of sugar-free stuff, so you don't need to worry about that. If you leave your parents', make sure you have a good plan of what to do this evening to try and avoid purging. Maybe go for a jog or something to ease the anxiety about eating and it will boost your mood as well. I hope you're ok dear.

DaVengezz - hope you're keeping safe. Sounds like a nice way to spend the time if you're dissociated!

I'm feeling ok could do with a fag but I'll have to wait now until everyone goes to bed... Yay for living with my folks...


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