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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

SoMuchMore 08-01-2010 06:28 AM

*hugs april* you okay? sorry ur not feeling well.

*walks over to corner and collapses* i quit.

Steel Maiden 08-01-2010 03:49 PM

Hugs to Kiera.

I CAN'T F'ING STUDY. My brain won't work and the Voices are talking again....

Scarletdreamer 08-01-2010 05:54 PM

*cuddles Laura* What's up, sweetie?

I'm home alone right now and I really want to cut & b/p. There's a ton - a TON - of food in the fridge that we made last night and they wouldn't notice if a bit was gone, would they? And there are knives in the kitchen, too, and food in our room (the one that we "borrowed" from our friend's daughter - we're still at his house). AAHHHH!!!! *wants to cry*

Last night was so tough. Vince wanted to know why I looked down and when he guessed that someone did something to me that made me hate myself so much, it all unraveled. Didn't cry but it feels like I have a PTSD hangover right now... hate the memories, hate the thoughts, hate them!!!! I want to die... I am so sick of my life right now. It's so hard to think positive thoughts, so difficult to control the urges, so so difficult!!!! :(

Hugs? support? :'(

SoMuchMore 08-01-2010 09:44 PM

*cuddles kiera*

*hugs steel maiden* Sorry you cant study and about the voices.

*hugs april* things sound really hard for you right now :-( I know its hard to control urges but keep fighting them. You are a great person hun. Stay strong.

I'm fine i guess... kinda numb today... Things are just getting harder and harder instead of easier.. and i'm kicking myself, b/c i was just starting to feel like i could figure things out. I can feel a relapse is on the way...

Kahlia1981 08-01-2010 11:08 PM

*hugs Kiera*

*hugs Olympia* (Did I get that right ??) - Voices make it so hard to study, try and be easy on yourself. And the feeling that your brain won't work ... I get that alot. Sometimes I read a passage and then have to reread it several times to make sense of it. I find it frustrating. I hope it eases up and that the voices don't get out of control.

*hugs April* I've got to echo Laura here hon. Fight those urges for as long as you can. I believe that you can beat them. I believe in you.

*hugs Laura* I wish I had some words for you Laura, just know that I'm thinking of you and hoping that you can get through this difficult time without having a relapse.

*hugs everyone*

I spent a majority of last night talking to an old high school friend. He reminded me of how much I lost through the ECT. I mean, it saved my life, but I paid an incredibly high price for it. I don't regret having it, I just wish it had left my memories alone. :( Now I feel tired and numb. I just want to disappear for awhile. I really want it all to be over. Can I get off this ride now please??

*curls up in a dark corner with a teddy bear and a pillow and tries to cry herself to sleep*

SoMuchMore 09-01-2010 06:05 AM

*cuddles kahlia* aw i'm sorry that the ect messed with your memories, i cant imagine how much that would suck... It would prolly bother me to no end. Don't disappear though. We would miss u.

And thanks for your kind words. I'm trying to keep distracted, but its getting harder. Hopefully things ease up when i go back to my university on monday.

downnunder80 09-01-2010 09:14 AM

*crying in corner, holding knife not know what else to do, but this.................

one_step_closer 09-01-2010 12:53 PM

Keep talking to us downunder, we are here to support you.

MammaMia 09-01-2010 02:47 PM

*curls up*

Please let her be ok :'(

Strawberry.Bananas 09-01-2010 10:49 PM

JESUS THIS IS SO ****ED UP!!! :(

Sorry but, I don't know what the hell to do anymore. I think I need to join a convent because I am so DONE with relationships. I don't understand. :(

MammaMia 09-01-2010 10:56 PM

*cuddles tight*

Strawberry.Bananas 09-01-2010 10:58 PM

Make it stop Hels? :(

MammaMia 09-01-2010 11:13 PM

I wish I could. I wish I could make everything bad for me stop too becuase it needs to. I jsut need to die.

*cries*

YodaBearInterrupted 10-01-2010 12:28 AM

*gives all in here hugs*

Gah. Just too confused right now as to what I want. i don't know what i want. Just too difficult right now. I wish it would all just go away

MammaMia 10-01-2010 12:30 AM

Screwed everything up.
Again.

Scarletdreamer 10-01-2010 04:34 AM

*cuddles everyone*

So sorry you all are struggling... I am too. Ate a HUGE supper (okay, felt huge to me...) and now I really want to purge but can't... :( it sucks. It's been too long anyway... but that doesn't stop me from wanting to.

I hate myself... we worked out tonight & I felt better for a little while but now I feel like crrrrap and I don't know what to do about it. Thankfully I have time to get online now so can vent some but it doesn't help a great deal. :(

*needs hugs*

MammaMia 10-01-2010 05:08 AM

*hugs*

SoMuchMore 10-01-2010 05:58 AM

*hugs vicki, helen, yodabear, and april* I wish I had words for you guys. I'm sorry you are struggling. Hope things get better soon. Keep fighting urges and bad thoughts.

MammaMia 10-01-2010 06:00 AM

How are you laura?

SoMuchMore 10-01-2010 06:24 AM

Fighting some urges right now.. i'm okay at the moment tho. Dealing with 2 crappy situations with friends, but looking forward to going back to school on monday. Then at least the stress of home should lessen.

U feeling any better?


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