she lives on her own, but doesn't want a guide dog. its a really awful situation for her to be in.

*hugs*

*hugs everyone*

Hi to all the new people - i'm Laura.

Kahlia - You are so not a bad wardie.

Won't be around much until the end of next week. only 10 more days of uni!

*hugs Laura*

Oliver - this might come out as a bit blunt, but if she's living independently of her parents, then she's evidently old enough and is classed as an adult. As an adult, it's up to her who she socialises with, not her parents. I appreciate that she relies on her parents, but it is now her decision who she hangs out with. She's an adult now and can make her own decisions.

Mark, Oliver, PoisonedApple - that is a great idea! Thanks. I'll take something I can fiddle with, to have something to do with my hands. I have healing beads, so I may take those, or wear a beaded bracelet. I'd love to have a plushie to cuddle whilst sitting there, but I'd be too embarrassed. I might take a little one in my bag though, just so it feels like some one is there.

Falling Star - What do you study?

*hugs Oliver* ok I must ask cuz now I'm confuzzled, so what bars her from going to the bus without them if she lives on her own? We have blind people up here that use the bus on their own, with out dogs even... Does she just not know the way?
*hugs Laura* Go You!

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Oliver* Thats terrible but I agree with MJ .

*Hugs MJ*

Also, Oliver, could she not say she's going out to a cafe for coffee or tea or something, have them take her to the bus and meet you somewhere?

BTW MJ, I'm Crimson :)

*hugs Crimson and MJ*

the problem is she doesn't know the way to the bus stop and needs someone to show her, I'm going to go round to her house next week and maybe I'll be able to show her then.

Ahhhhhhhhhh, I see. Yes show her the way then by all means. If need be go back and forth between the bus and the house over and over and then simply follow her to see if she remembers it on without you telling her the way.

*hugs Oliver and Mark*

I will do, I'll do all I can to help her.

*hugs all*

Hi Crimson!

You sound like an awesome friend to have, Oliver. She's lucky. Maybe her parents can't see that, but she is!!

Thanks MJ, nope her parents now think I'm evil :(

No offense is intended here Oliver but.... You are not evil, they are just prejudiced jerks that want control over their adult daughters life and they need to get over it.

Thanks Crimson *hugs* how are you doing?

Not too shabby. Still waiting to move and still trying to get caught up while doing 2 jobs but they start interviewing Friday so maybe in a month or so I can be back to just my own job and the move will happen soon...
I spazzed out a bit yesterday on my in law but I think I was totally justified (she never listens to me whether I talk or write it down and if she is left to watch the three kids, telling the oldest to supervise the other two so she can wrestle around with her gf on my living room floor is not appropriate -especially when the oldest is supposed to be doing schoolwork- and making excuses for it doesn't lessen my anger it makes me more pissed off) and D "talked to her" for a good 15 minutes with the door closed while I scrubbed out my frustration in the bathroom, kids room, kitchen and dining room...

Bad bad day. Don't know what to do. Hate myself for not being good enough. Can't stop crying. Wish I had a blade.

*Hugs Mrs Pan*

*hugs crimson*
*hugs oliver* she's lucky to have a friend like you.
*hugs pan*
*hugs mark*

sorry I havent been around much in the last few days.... the wireless internet in the house doesn't work anymore and we have only 1 wire that I have to share with my mom, stepdad and sister. Then I got a virus on my computer and now I have to try and fix it. meh...

went to visit my granddad in hospital earlier today. He's going to have heart surgery on friday. They'll put a heart valve rom a pig in his heart.
My dad kept telling us how he yelled at his mom and he insulted his mom (our grandma). He kept insulting my friends, too. I hate him.. I just can't help hating him.
Now he wants to move with the horse to his girlfriend.... hello suicidal thoughts. My horse is keeping me alive... kept me alive and halfway sane in the last 4 years or so.

sorry for the rant. I'm going off now.. don't want to bother you or steal the thread.

*Hugs Laura*

*hugs all*

I'm thinking of learning Tai Chi, as I have a book about it and now I have my own flat I have the space to do it.

That sounds super cool Oliver , I would have the space but I am a pretty messy person :P Mainly Magazines strewn about , DVD's here and there , Old food jars and boxes in the kitchen to remind me to buy more but it looks crap...

*hugs Laura* that sucks, I'm sorry. You're not stealing the thread (this thread moves so fast, I can barely follow it.) Good luck getting your internet fixed.

*hugs Oliver* tai chi is awesome, I learnt the basic 24 moves but I've forgotten most of them. There's a version with a sword (or stick) which is a lot of fun too. And another with fans.

*hugs Crimson* that sounds like an incredibly stressful situation with your in-law, hope you're okay.

*hugs everyone else*
Am a bit better today, not totally over the urges, but better. Counselling tomorrow morning will either make me feel much better, or push me over the edge.

*hugs Laura* I agree with Sefka, hun.
*hugs Oliver* that sounds awesome!
*hugs Mark*
*hugs Sefka* I am... I scrubbed stuff until I wasn't so pissed. It still irks me though... my oldest is only 8.5 yrs old.~thinks to self - 6 months and she should be going on her "road trip" and after that she is not moving back into my house!~

hugs everyone

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Sefka*

*Hugs Crimson*

Sorry Hugs are all I have right now......

*cuddles Mark*

*hugs Louise*

*hugs all*

The urge to OD is really really bad, I have the meds in front of me, god I'm so useless really want to, sorry stupid me for taking up space.

NOT Stupid you Oliver , I know how tempting it can be , try and put the pills in a cupboard? Out of Sight may just equal out of Mind a little ?

*sits in my pillow fort focusing on breathing*
I don't know how much more of this I can take...

Not much to say, I just wanted to check in. *Hugs to all*

*Sneaks back to corner to hide*

*hugs Jeff and Alexx*

Well after typing in my blog for an hour (literally) I feel better. Still cranky and a bit on edge but better...

*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry your not feeling great, you are not useless or stupid. I'm sorry about the situation with your friend.

*Hugs Mark* I wish you all the best for your appointment on Friday

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs MJ*

*Hugs Kahlia* You are certainly not a bad wardie, you cant help not being around. I hope the move goes ok.

*Hugs Alex* I'm sorry your not feeling great

*Hugs Mors Certa*

*Hugs Sefka* im Ian by the way

*Hugs Crimson* I hope your conselling goes ok tomorrow

*Hugs Louise*

I'm not feeling great :-( feel depressed and fed up. Maybe il feel better later on in the morning. I guess i could always kid myself that il be better but i doubt it. Just feel like giving up right now. I'm pathetic i really am.

*cuddles Ian*
you are not pathetic, you're just struggling right now.

*hugs everyone*
Good night/morning my lovely wardies :)

*hugs everyone*

wish i could take everyones pain away and die so ya'll never have anymore!

*hides back in corner*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Alexx*

*Hugs Jeff*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Michelle*

My Psych Appointment is tomorrow , getting more anxious by the minute........ Sorry.

*hugs everyone*

*Hugs Lindsay*

I Injured.
I am SO Happy to be engaged to Felicia , never been more happy or excited but at the same time I can't shake feeling sad and low , WTF?

*hugs mark*
*hugs lindsay*
*hugs michelle*
*hugs ian*
*hugs crimson*
*hugs alexx* hope the meds are working now
*hugs Jeff*
*hugs Oliver* how are you?
*hugs louise*

*hugs every one*

I suck :-(

You don't suck MJ.

*hugs*

I so wish I had my own flat. I hate living at home... I like being alone too much :-(

*hugs and balloons for everyone*

MJ, you don't suck - anything in particular that's making you feel like that?

Rhi - I can totally sympathise. My flatmate's fine but not the kind of person I can talk to about anything. Who do you live with?

Mark - all the best for the appointment (is it over yet?)

I did counselling earlier and I'm okay but slightly dazed. Love to everyone xx

*hugs Sarah*

I live between University where I live with 2 other girls and at home with my mum. Both places drive me insane! When I'm by myself I can just relax and not have to think...

I'm thinking of starting a fund to buy an island for us all to go live on. We could build our own little huts!

Yeah Rhi!! With signs that say "This person is currently : ..." And if you put anti-social in the gap, you'd be left alone.

I'm lucky in that I live with my Nana, but I have my own room, and it's perfect. Nana's downstairs all day, so I don't really get bothered too much.

I was meant to go to an appt today, but I didn't. Partly due to anxiety and partly due to not being able to get up.

I wish I had some friends that I could go to for actual hugs. :-(

I would give you actual hugs MJ! I'm a great hugger/cuddler!

At Uni I'm in a flat and at home It's a bungalow! I'd love an upstairs lol In our old house I was in the attic and it was bliss!!!

Where abouts in South Wales do you live? I'm from Wales!

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs MJ* You do NOT suck!

*Hugs Rhi* I moved out of home year and a half or so ago , being alone is nice but can get lonely but has iit's perks.

*Hugs Sefka* Thanks Hun , My Appointment is tomorrow morning at 10am British time :S

Anyone ever been focused, like super hyper focused, on nothing...? Just like totally focused on blankness?

Yes Crimson , I have , It's an odd feeling when you snap out of it.

*Nighttime Hugs My Wardies*

I took plenty of Diaz , SO Anxious for tomorrow Psych appointment , Wish me luck Guys and thankyou for all the positive vibes :)