*hugs Matt* here if you want to talk about anything. Please stay safe.

just to let people know I may dissappear for a few days, as I'm not sure if I shall have internet straight away in my flat. But I'll be back ASAP.

*leaves cuddles and lots of cal free treats for all*

love ya all.

*Hugs Louise* Are you ok hun?

*Hugs Mark* How are you?

*Hugs Laura* How are you?

*Hugs Crimson* How are you?

*Hugs Oliver* Thanks for letting us know, i hope the move goes ok. I'm sorry your stuggling

*Hugs Kahlia* How are you?

*Hugs Matt* I hope you feel better soon

*Hugs Kelly* I'm sorry your hurting and not feeling great, if you need to talk some more we are here for you.

*hugs Ian* how are you?

*hugs anyone who wants/needs them*
*waves at everyone else*

*hugs Ian* - I'm surviving. Better than I would have expected considering I didn't sleep last night and have had bad insomnia problems for the last 10 days or so. How are you going?

*hugs Oliver* - I hope that the move goes flawlessly. I don't have long until we move and the excitment is building. I hope that you get your internet connected as soon as possible.

Tomorrow (25/04/11) will be my 32 months SI free milestone. In some ways I can't believe that I have made it this far. It hasn't been easy but I've managed to keep myself safe despite all the troubles.

*hugs Kahlia* congrats on 32 months, thats a great acheivement :)

Kahlia: I'm sorry that you didnt sleep last night. *Hugs* I'm ok thanks. Congratulations on 32 months! Thats awesome :) well done!

Oliver: I'm ok thanks :) How are you?

im giving out virtual teddies to all of those that where kind enough to give me a hug. and to those that are hurting the worst! hugs everyone :) I need hugs thank you. Thank you thank you

*hugs habibi* sorry i forget your name..... Thanks for the virtual teddy!!

*hugs ian* ive been better. How r u?

*hugs oliver* good luck in the move tomorrow! Sorry you aren't feeling the best.

*hugs kahlia* 32 months is amazing! so proud of you hun.

*curls up in corner*

I'm feeling better now... had time to let it go... thanks though

Oliver, hope everything goes well with the move :) *hugs*

*gives hugs to all in here*

This evening didn't go well. At all. *sits in corner*

*hugs matthew* im sorry your evening was bad. im around if you need to talk.

*HUGGLES WARDIES :)*

hey all! how is everyone tonight? or this morning... depending on where you are

*Hugs Matt*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Kahlia* Thats seriously amazing and inspiring Hun , Way to go!

*Hugs Habibi*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Kelly*

*Hugs Megz*

I hope we all have a tolerable at worst and great at best Easter day , Happy Easter all my Wardies!

*huggles all who want/can accept*
*waves at everyone else*

Really not having a good day today. My arm/shoulder started really screwing up before we headed over to my fiance's parents place. When we got home we looked at our budget and we have ... maybe two months before the ***** hits the fan. We may have to not eat and barely smoke as well as cutting down our medication just to get us through. I suggested getting me readmitted to the hospital in Cairns, but my fiance wasn't at all happy about that. I guess I'll wait until Wednesday when I see my psychiatrist. *sigh* Just so damn over this all.

*POSSIBLE SUI TRIGGER*
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My Social worker said she would call me at the end of the week ,2 weeks passed , I was perusded to call her , We made an appointment , I waited for her , she didn't show , I called her mobile it was off , I called the CMHT offices and was told she was on a study day . so I called her and left a right arsey message that night . we have an appointment down for Tuesday , she better show up and be helpful , I can't cope with feeling so depressed and suicidal fantasys and heart break on my own . I don't exactly trust her we've not known each other long and she already screwed up and told my housing support worker I injure , SO Mad about that , Sorry I just needed to get this out , At least Lithium is pushing my emotions right down so I feel not much but numb , yet I still get suicidal fantasys...............*Sighs*

squishes mark gently. im sorry your social worker is being an ass, hopfully she wont let you down this time. please dont act on the suicidal fantasys sweetie. hang in there and take care of yourself. cuddles

*Hugs Jill Heaps*

thanks mark, hugs back.
cuddles all.

*Shquishies Mark*
I hope she shows :(

*hugs Megz*

*Hugs Angel*

Omg family gathering anxiety levels thru the roof, don't know way to do, please help

why are you anxious Mors? *Huggles*

Too many people, too much noise, no where to hide from it. Took my emergency mess and they are not helping.

*Huggles* I'm sorry. just think, it will all be over in a few hours. can you ggo outside for a few minutes?

Tried outside, helped a little, thank you

anytime darliin :)

Well, made it home, the anxiety symptoms are still there, but hopefully they will pass soon. Thank you for the help. I sure do hope my doctor starts to believe me about this soon, can't take much more of this feeling.

ugh I know! anxiety is the WORST!!! just sit and have some tea or cider (I say cider because I dont really like tea) you just need to stick it to the man

i am not okay... i just thought someone should know that.

*Hugs Mors Certa*

*Hugs Megz*

*Hugs Laura* Whats up hun?

How is everyone today?

*hugs everyone*

Hi one_step_closer how are you ?
Hi mark
Am not doing so good at the moment .. feel numb and want to cut a lot
just getting over the aftermath of Easter and trying to deal with that at the moment
unsure what to do to keep busy ...maybe just hang out on the forum for a while.

*Hugs Angel*

*Hugs Lindsay*

I'm struggling with urges to self harm too, but I think I can fight them.

I sit at the office, headphones in, trying to block the noise, trying to get the day to pass more quickly, knowing that my time here is very limited makes it very difficult to care if anything gets done. I made it through my first anxiety attack of the day, wonder how many more will happen today. Sorry for the ramble, I just needed to get it out, it is eating away at my insides.

*Hugs all that will accept them*

*Leaves a tray of goodies on the table and heads for quiet, dark corner*

*Hugs Jeff* Is it okay I call you Jeff?

It is okay to call me Jeff, caught me off guard, but still not a problem at all.

Cool Jeff, I hope I didn't worry you man ? :/

hugs everyone

Oliver, how did your move go? Have the crisis team been helpful?*hugs*
*hugs Angel, Mors, Lindsay*
*hugs Mark* How was your holiday/ visit to your parents? Sorry your worker is still being such an ass...
*hugs Louise too* missed you :)

~and now for my selfish ramble...~
...I seem to have developed seasonal allergies to the only season I like to live up here for... **unimpressed**
Easter went ok at my place... Minimal fighting of the in laws (might have been because we told them our new zero tolerance policy and they feared actually getting thrown out), the kids went to their first easter egg hunt (after an indoor test run at our house so they understood how it worked) and I am proud to say my 4 yr old kicked ass! She beat all of the other kids and was one of the youngest and the only little one that hadn't done an egg hunt before lol. Dinner was delicious even if I do say so myself. Then I got bored/stircrazy/fidgety/whatever you wanna call it while everyone else was sitting around watching tv, playing games and doing nothing so I cleaned the animal cages out and gave them their easter treats and then I resumed packing... after clearing out the junk the closet is about half empty and what is left is boxes (what came out that was kept went back in boxed) and clothes that we wear frequently (my work clothes and 2 sets of weekend clothes and a set of workout clothes is my portion) and a set of sheets so we can change them while we're still living in the apartment. ...and the stuff on the shelf - photos, and some collectibles.
today started out interestingly... I remembered all of my drinks, lunch, snacks so that was good. got to work and got a voice mail of a guy ranting about this fantastic, no? but on the upside staff appreciation week has begun and thus my boss brought in bagels of all kinds for us to enjoy. A nice buttered blueberry bagel with my nice mint tea? Yes, thank you.

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Crimson*

How are you girls ?, You through out your in laws crimson and best of luck with the move!

*hugs Mark* I'm sneezing quite a lot but swiped a box of tissues from the area outside my office... aside from that though, not bad at all. *eats ears off a white chocolate bunny*

Poor bunny Wabbit!

I feel sorry for the bunny too. :-((

*hugs everyone*

*Hugs Felicia*

*hugs everyone* how are you all?
sorry i wasn't around in the last 3/4 days... I didn't really have access to the internet because I was visiting some friends.