*gives Ileana a big hug followed by butterfly525*

Hang in there hon. Look after urself ppl...

*sits in corner of bedroom and rocks bac and frth sobbing*

I'm finding life so hard at the moment. I'm fighting purging! :'( feel so horrid and full and fat!

I'm feeling so rough :(

had a couple of bad days

ive faced some very disturbed people from the wards and just need to be around "functioning" people at the mo

"hides under blanket"

im at school. I want to cry or cut. I cant though, not until i get home. I feel so isolated atm. I cant think about anything else. no one understands me. Happy isnt me. Cold and depressed is. ****ing counsellors.

"hugs teddy"

*hugs everyone*
sorry not been able to give much support-hope you are ALL ok and remeber if you need me pm me
xxxx

I'm going to have to check in. Too much going on and I can't cope. Don't want to write it all down again I have a thread on this forum with it all in.

*sits in an empty spot and smokes*

I can only check in Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, btw. Just so nobody panics when I disappear for five days. Hugs to everyone here, looks like we've all got our crap to deal with huh?

I hate my body.
I'm too fat I'm too fat io'm too fat.
Everytime I feel my thighs touch each other I want to scream And I feel like crying when I think of my stomach. I spent an hour staring at myself last night in bed, why is my body so disgusting? Why am I so ****ing greedy?
I hate my scars I want to have red cuts not white scars.
I want to fix it I want to stop hating myself
I want to get rid of myself.I think I'm having a panic attaqck.

:pinch:

=[

I'm feeling poorly still and didn't go to college today :(

Ok...so their split is final and end of all.

20 years...all gone

*hides and cries*

*Hugs Dance!Dance!4eva* It'll be ok. Not exactly inspiring, I know, but it will be OK.

*hugs zowie* I wish I knew what to say.

Checking in for the day. I did it again this morning and really hate myself right now. Fighting off the urges but i'm in college so I should be safe, at least for now.

*hugs for all*
all i can offer at the moment sorry

hope your feeling better xyon x

I wish I was, Zowie. Hope we all do soon.

I don't know if I can get through tonight without being here.... I can't be here, though. No internet at "home". Nothing, really, to distract me.

Please don't, Ileana. *hugs*

Reallllllllllllly **** day *sob*

talkin about threats, zara cried, people seeming to ignore me, not findoing summat to help with my work, people ignoring me, feelin all so alone, being told my tutor wanted a word, headache has returned, forced to apolgise...finding out people are talkin bout me behind my back other than the people who are allowed to do so (i.e. jane, jess & tina are allowed to talk about tme...cus I know they do).....gettin scared earlier over summat stuipd....slipped up....peorid pains...

"hugs everyone"

then runs to her bed and cries. ive slipped up and cant get it out of my mind!!!!!!!!!!!

:crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:

**hugs all**

hang in there all...try and focus on something u enjoy and hopefully that would let ur mind forget about stuff that happened the nite before or whenever

PM me if need me

Jet

god danmit i cant do this anymore just need to stay here for a while, im not safe by myself i will end up cutting myself, cant cope anymore and im heading straight for another melt down. *starts to cry while rocking back and forth.

*hugs everyone* sorry for not being around for a while, I had to change my username for certain reasons


(pm if you want to know what it was, I dont want to be found....)

*hugs everyone*

*sigh* I need to check myself in...I just want to disappear, I want to scream at my friends and make them feel this, just for a week and then see if they tell me they don't like the fact I've 'changed'. I really want to hurt myself really badly but I can't. I hate responsibility.

We'll miss u Ileana if u were gone!!!

*walks in and camps in the corner with a pillow*
here for the long haul i think

*cuddles*

its raining here, the storm is lovely its making me feel so much better, alots cleansing....

Im starting to feel really pathetic, Im having boyfriend issues and they are all being created by me, *feels stupid* that and people keep mentioning carols in the domain, which I want to go to but dont at the same time because of what happened last year.......*shuts up*

*screams* help

My confidence kinda came back around today. I felt good about myself again...after a long while. I cleaned my room (which was super dirty) I washed my clothes and then my normal self started to come out. I shaved, showered and even plucked my eye brows after weeks of not doing so. They were getting bushy. I danced in my room while getting dressed. At last I didn't feel ugly and disgusting...then he arrives and I try to be a little seductive, you know, having had my confidence back I was being my lovely self. He plays with the cat and pushes me around in an annoying way. He's tired. We grab bite to eat and then back here, alone. So what's the ****ing point in getting my confidence back and shaving and all that **** we do to look better? I'm still here.

...and I bet he didn't even notice that last week I wore the same clothes for three days straight (I did shower though). I felt good today but it didn't bring me anything.
It doesn't matter if I wear a g-string or grandma panties. If I'm shaven or fuzzy. If my hair is dirty or clean. He won't notice.

...so I'm cheking in again and this time I want to be locked in a poorly illuminated room alone.

Make me believe everything is going to be ok?
Take me out of college for rest of this term, pleaseeeeee?

*wonders if newbies are allowed to snuggle in*

*finds the fluffy slippers*

I can't sleep, too many thoughts and don't feel safe.
Can i rest here for a while?

Not sad or pathetic.

Urgh, just shoot me or something?

blah

someone kill me plz!

* signs into psych ward*
Can I cuddle up with youuu?
me's a noob :) loving this ryl thingie

*cuddles up with Summer*

Feeling like I've made progress this morning :)

*is feeling mucho better today so offers around duvets and hot choc to those still in need*

*checks in*
Feeling very triggered and generally miserable, keep getting told to pull myself together but just wanna scream at everyone who says that!!

Feeling crap but still available for support if anyone wants to chat

mwa
xxx

Hugs mwa. i hate it when people tell me to pull myself together, completely unhelpful. I hope you can feel a little better soon.

"runs in crying and dives under a blankie" its happening but it cant be. it just ****in cant be! :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: screw my life ****en screw it!!!!!!!!!!!

there still space for someone new? Need sleep and lots of hugs...*carries duvet and lots of pillows*

I'm... alive. Mostly.

I'm alive and wishing I wasn't
I'm so scared...
ugh I dont even know what of, just feeling like I need to run somewhere , far far away. :(