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*hugs everyone and cuddles you all up*
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squashed
I'm feeling like a bug that's being squashed or stuck in a jar and denied air. If i had the option of spending some time in the hospital now, i would jump at it. As it is I can't be around anyone. It's been months since i could talk to people other than immediate family (and even that's just a necessary evil) I don't answer the phone or messages or post on facebook. I've driven everyone from my life but I can't cut, and certainly cannot die because i have a daughter who is, like me, bipolar and those things would be devastating to her. She's saved my life so many times because of that thought. On the other hand, my life is so intensely painful and lonely that i can barely function. Thank you for letting me get that off of my chest.
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haven't been on for a little while - life has been insanely busy and I'm experiencing a lot of goodbyes and lasts that are very hard... I hope everyone is doing alright - sending love and hugs!
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Bad bad bad deserve to suffer and die
I've thrown the tool away again |
Ninais, I'm useless atm cause I feel so much like you do that you almost coulda been writing that for me. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone n someone cares.
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i have had enough cant take it anymore
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*hugs all*
I know I haven't been on here for a while. And if I was, then I wasn't doing individuals. I'm going to a specialized hospital on Tuesday, which means that I probably wont get much online time in the next time. I'm going to be there for 4 weeks... that's my plan anyway. I don't know their plan, but they can't hold me there if I don't want to be there. hope you are all well or at least well enough |
*curls up in the corner*
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Not good enough, never has been, never will be... bad lexy, not doing enough, no no no... very bad. Not acceptable, unhelpful, selfish, self serving, brattish, bad bad bad. Doesn't deserve to live, should go away, everyone would be happy, oh yes they would. Bad lexy, should do more, not ill, not a tall...
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*hugs faye* how are you?
*hugs lexy* Is that your name? You are certainly not a bad person. I'm going ip tomorrow morning. I wish you all a good time and all that. |
good luck love <3 hope it's helpful for you <3
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*sits in corner with tool* bad bad bad evil girl. Must learn to be better and not a failure.
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I don't feel well I don't want to live any more and I can't get help until the psychiatrist contacts me
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cant do this anymore just want to die
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I missed three months clean by days - also got the day wrong for therapy and missed that today. Thinking of disappearing
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HI EVERYONE! I'm back again and in a spiral of unmedication and no sleep. WOO. Whatever. I havent felt in a while. I want to crash...ok that's probably a bit sick but who cares...
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Ugh I hate this I want out of here
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-stares at a wall-
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DIE !
Hide in your fuc kin' grave You're afraid of life You do nothing If you spenD life whineing about death any wonder you dont like life just shut up! Actions speek louder ...but theres still no one listening. I dont care what you do just stop getting in my way. Stop getting me down You loved me even though I know-you knew I would never love you back Its youre fault you shoulda known better dont blame me, i told you i was heartless I'm better now, thanks for the boost oh you want a hand up?... sorry im kinda busy I'll always lie to you you're nothing to me you dont even deserve my honesty we were never friends and now that you're no use to me goodbye I despise you but who am I I'm just a bit ch I'm heartless, I'm cruel I never even thought of what i did to you and now i dont even talk to you dying wont get my attention dont live for me find another anything aslong as I dont have to think of you ever again you're dead to me |
if you wont delete that. and live in hope and dont die from me. i love you all. ashers or not. we live together. i will tell you my secret button url. ;(
do something thats full of energy. thats where the life lives. and will accept even the smallest of memories to slip away from your aching hearts. |
It's getting harder and harder to fight *sits in corner rocking with tool* Someone kill me please so I don't have to live like this any more
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Feels selfish to say but, I'm feeling much the same way midnight. Feeling very unsafe n now alone. Want a _____ n my tool.
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Cant choose just one mood. I'm unsafe n sad n guilty n frustrated n crying n alone n several others.
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=[. <3.
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:'( im done i am seriously done ...cant stop the thoughts and feelings im just done !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to kill myself so much ie never felt this bad before
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*hugs Saphire*
ugh why an I so anxious today - I want to die so my anxiety goes away |
really want to hurt myself cant stop the thoughts got my blade i cant take it anymore
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Just passing through with some love and hugs for my wardies
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~takes Anna home n puts her to bed~
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I just want to disappear
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*sits in corner staring at wall*
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I don't feel well
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Slip, you're not despicable hun *offers safe hugs* why do you think this?
Midnight - are you sick sweetie? *hugs* please take care of yourself *hugs heather* so tired. always alone. how many more time does this have to happen before someone finds the guts to just kill me? It's so much crueller to hurt me then leave me to try and salvage a life out of the broken pieces of myself... |
*slinks into ward then pulls duvet over self* I don't exist I'm not a human I'm imaginary
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i just dont care anymore:( i tried to kill myself yesturday and i FAILED like i fail at everything i just want to die so much i cant even tell anyone whats going on ....im so EVIL and i am done with everything :(....right now i just want to overdose and cut myself
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Ugh I'm a failure I injured myself again after trying to help a suicidal friend (not on RYL)
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I'm back. I enroll at college tomorrow and I'm terrified. I don't think I'm capable. So I'm stressing out badly.
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Save me from myself *hides in ward*
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:( dont even care anymore...i have messed up so much what do i need to do about it now :( its all my fault i cant handle this ...i cant even look after myself
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I don't feel safe, so I'm signing myself in here for a while...
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*gives all in here hugs and goodies/treats*
Really hurting right now... really painful. Make it all go away :( |
I'm in severe pain - boyfriend dumped me through email yesterday (one line saying "I've found someone else so don't want you any more goodbye" :-(:crying::Emoticon(14):
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Wow, that's rude and hurtful *hugs midnight star* I am sorry to hear that
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I fix
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I hate these feelings, one moment I am fine, the next I am debating SH... make it stop
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sh last night. awful. think i went too far with across the wrist. but it wasnt too deep. just bled alot. i felt really good and bad afterwards. i wondered around my porch wondering if i was gonna die. but i didnt. so i called those people that brings my medicine and i told them to bring bandages. i had to wait an half hour before they came. and they put on vaseline bandages and some normal bandage around my arm and i gave them all my knives. i really thought i had crossed something serious cause i couldnt feel that i cut there.
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*sits next to solo waving*
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*sits next to m0nk and give m0nk a hug*
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*curls up tight*
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*hugs risen* - hope that is okay
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