*takes some tea and a blanket and moves into a corner*
Hope you don't mind one more person around here...

My grandparents arrived here on thursday and we saw them today. My nanna barely recognised me.... I don't want to watch them die... Please let me die instead

Kahlia, I'm so sorry about your nanna :( *hugs if you want them*

Sisu: Thanks

I've hidden a kitchen knife and my fiancee keeps asking for it... I don't even know why I took it. I mean, I'm so close to 5 years free and I can't even control myself enough to not start collecting "dangerous" things. It would be so easy to just go through on my suicide plan...

*offers hugs to all who are in here and then hides in the corner*

*hugs all in here*

Barely awake right now at 230 am... i am being pulled in every direction and i can't stop or hide... they all need me... this really sucks

Checks back in a while I think I need a few days here to feel better i feel so shitty right now

Don't mind me, just hiding in the corner....

*offers hugs, blankets and stuffed toys to all*

Gem-Louise: Come on in and make yourself at home. *offers blankets, pillows and stuffed animals*

Suicidal and depressed and have to see my pdoc tomorrow. I think I'm going to be heading down for more ECT after my wedding and exam. *screams* Nonononono....

Feeling really shitty I think I need I be here for a long time

thankyou Kahlia for welcoming me here

feeling really suicidal and low right now do not feel safe

Hi lovelydesires there are lots of things going on in my life right now that I am finding hard to control (sits with lovelydesires)

How are you lovely?

Right now I feel like **** been really low all evening not wanting to do much or anything nothing really cheering me up and making me feel better just want to be alone and in an hour and half I am going to bed and staying there. I am soooo bloody miserable. I hate myself so much I feel such a useless failure

Well it's just a lot of thing that have happened to me with the attack, plus getting into debt and lossing friends that has made feel this bad about myself that I feel like I'm a failure and feel like I havent accomplished what I want in life and its makes me feel empty, alone, unmotivated and I feel I need control in my life and nf current eating problems and control it in an away and I feel like im not gonna stop until I'm skinny. Really I don't care if takes dying to get there I want to feel in control of my life and not be dominated by m parents, boyfriend, ex boyfriend and obviously my friend heather. So instead I'm in rut where I am starving myself and I'm NOT getting for it.

Help*

skinnylove: That's a lot to bear. Getting into debt and losing friends is something I can relate to, as are the ED-like thoughts. This may sound really stupid or cliché, but we all struggle to get in control of our lives, or parts of them. As both a survivor or suicide, and a survivor of suicide attempts I really hope that you can get through this without travelling down that road. *offers safe hugs*

I'm not coping at present. My mood is low and I'm getting used to the fact that I'm going to have to travel down to Brisbane for ECT after I sit my deferred exam. *sigh* Last round I didn't improve and gained a 12-month hole in my memory from the ECT. I just want to disappear right now

*disappears into a corner with my teddy bear*