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*floats down some independant hugs for you*
..thankyou..just thank you. |
Thanks for the offer but I'm not in a majorly hugging mood, I'll keep the helium balloon though. Sorry you're not feeling so good either. Sorry if I sounded off in my other post, i don't know how to do the medium bit right now. I feel like i'm mentally twisting inside over odd things and I can't understand the size of the reaction against the size of the problem.
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wow balloons are here now (i am back). We all react to things differently and what seems small to one person can be huge to others.
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hi 1ofmany *floats a balloon over to you, a sparkly one*
I think I'm OK. I think I've realised it's to do with emotions. I'm still a novice where emotions are concerned... I think... I think I have a crush on someone :-s |
I still feel like novice with emotion...well i cant deal with them anyway (my own that is).
Aww well thats good isnt it? |
I have no idea. It doesn't feel good, it feels horrible. Its confusing and ugly and potentially destructive. It's like a chance for the one person in my life I care about to hurt me, purely because I stupidly allowed myself to start caring about them. I can't seem to undo this. I don't understand how this is a requirement to being human :(
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So your worried from the start that the person will hurt you?
Being in a relationship (if this is what you mean) isnt a requirment to being human. |
(I'm borderline and) I tend to over idealise certain people.. I'm worried because I'm almost sure I'm just another person to them, whereas they are becoming the centre of my world at a fast pace. They can crush me with a word without knowing it, and often do. I think this is normal for a crush? But no, I meant why is the feeling of this towards another person even possible. I shouldnt feel anything towards this person, nor any other. I've been "dating" someone for a month, but they have just gone home from uni miles away, and I don't care much for them anymore and not entirely sure why I even dated them, we barely talk but I'm meant to be still dating them. I do not understand any of this situation.
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relationships are indeed complex for borderlines, sucks to be right right now i am feeling needy with my cureent fella, and still needing to SI
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Sounds like the one your dating you dont have strong feelings for...as for the other person and the feeling....I get that with my best friends, they can say somthing and it will cause my world to crumble but they wont realise it...
Sorry i am not much help |
*offers hugs should you want them* :(
Also, it's ok, I don't expect answers.. I just needed to ramble I guess. |
*offers supportive hugs to mors should he want them*
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hi mors hun *hugs n snuggles* can listen if you need to vent?
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*Storms in and throws herself down in a heap*
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whats up voice?
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I just hate being so full of anger....
I'm only angry because I get shouted at when I cry.... plus...I feel like I have to hide ALL my scars out of "respect" for my family....so I had some big thick dressing gown on this morning and I was so hot and I thought "this is stupid" |
*hugs* i know that feeling and it's not right, if you feel comfortable with your scars then you should be able to be comfortable rather than soooo hot! and you definately should'nt get shouted at for crying!
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I do though :/
"Turn those ****ing crocodile tears off alexx" yeah..has she ever considered that I might ACTUALLY be feeling upset... *Sigh* *curls up in a tight ball* |
poor alexx :( i dont like your mother.
i feel like crap today. like actually physically sick. but i have to go to my lectures. LAME. |
*cuddles alexx and chloe*
Hope u guys feel better soon xxx Yeah, i got lectures too chloe ughhh.... |
Delated Cos I Did It Twice Like A ****
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I finaly have a day off tomorrow. No one i know wants to spend it with me. I think my parents are home too so i will end up just walking for hours. I wish the libary was open on mondays so i could go and escape into other worlds.
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****s Sake Sorry About The Double Godamn Stupid Idot.
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your ok don't worry, the librairy is great for escape!
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I know but cos of summer work and my normal weekend job i can hardly ever get there, and if i do its usualy just to swap books.
Hurts bad right now ive got myself wond up. |
i wish i could help sorry i am crap tonight
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*takes sharp object off mors*
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Sharp objects cant exist in this ward due to its meta safety field.
Its ok i am crap too, I just feel like i have no where to go right now. |
*picks up blanket n snuggles up in corner next to mors*
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i feel the same, nothing feels right
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*hugs Chloe, Alex, Jetforce, Diamond, 1ofmany, Jeff... and anybody else that I forgot to mention that I haven't seen since I left take my nap*
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*rock moan,rock rock moan* did i get it?
i didn't take it away i am just holding it. i feel like a piece of crap tonight i just want to hurt myself make it go away! |
*cuddlecuddlecuddle*
My mum took my cushoins away... I need my cushions...to sleep :( coz im a pathetic **** |
it will stay but just be changed unable to cause harm.
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*hugs bound* how was your nap?
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*hugs her daddy and joins him in his cell*
you don't mind... do you? |
Quote:
Quote:
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awww you ok now hun?
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*screams*
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*sits on the floor*
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*rocks and sucks her thumb*
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8curls up* shhhh i'm hding fromt he world.
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Quote:
but I NEED them to sleep... coz i line them up and sleep next to them...then I dont feel like im sleeping alone...and it helps everything :'( |
*tosses Jess an invisibility cape to hide under*
*buys Alexx a new (better squishier) body pillow ;-) |
waha! invisibility cape. drapes over self and disappears. very cool. :D
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I want to sleep so i can dream a great time with my friends, but cos i want it so bad i wont be able to for while...then the chances are it will be a night mare instead.
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*puts a velvet rope in frount of jess so no one stands on her by accident*
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*hugs 1ofmany*
ain't that always how it is? ya want something so bad and ya don' get it... until ya don't want it? lol |
*sends many a pm syaing thankyou*
:) |
*bangs head*
I'm a ditz... I don't think... "invisibilty can = getting squished >< me sorry jess |
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