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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

katnovia 24-07-2010 10:55 PM

thanks mark, though i dont know if it will. new antidepressants, and some of the side effects include restlessness and inablity to fall asleep, just great! *hugs*

MammaMia 24-07-2010 11:04 PM

Hey Rach, you probably remember me...

*cuddles everyone espically April* What's up?

Scarletdreamer 24-07-2010 11:08 PM

*cuddles Kat, Mark, Hels*
*group cuddle!!*

Umm, just petty stuff again. Feeling unwanted/unneeded, etc. Stupid stuff really. I'm just too sensitive these days. Really shouldn't be so damn sensitive... but I can't help it. Can't blame it on the meds either, I think it's just my point in recovery + where I am in my "cycle" if you get what I mean. :o

Stupid April, stupid stupid stupid. :-X

Doikers 24-07-2010 11:12 PM

*Hugs April* you are NOT Stupid :)

Scarletdreamer 24-07-2010 11:30 PM

Thanks, Mark, for the encouragement, but the "little voice in my head" says otherwise. I should know by now not to listen to it, oops. :(

I'm really concerned about a lot of you, you're struggling awfully & it feels like I can't do a single thing about it. Just know that my PM box is open ALLLL the time.

I'm honestly exhausted. Just want to go to bed. Jarrod will be staying up late to raid again though. I just don't feel good enough. I'm sidelined. I'm... not good enough. I don't know. I suck.


shadowedsoul 24-07-2010 11:40 PM

Hugs everyone. Hmm mabye going down and coming back up from Glasgow wasn't the best idea. Got a three hour drive ahead of me now in the pitch dark in the rain. Great......not.

Scarletdreamer 25-07-2010 12:46 AM

Take care of yourself, Jill. *gentle hugs* How're you doing??

*hides in the warren*

shadowedsoul 25-07-2010 01:48 AM

Huggless April , hmm I'm not great right now I'm n a bit of pain and my chest is hurting because I'm coughing so much. Were about an hour away from home and it's 1am. Sorry being a whiney sod.

Scarletdreamer 25-07-2010 01:59 AM

Awww. You're not a whingy sod, not at all... *more gentle hugs* That's late!! Hopefully you get some good sleep tonight once you get home... :( I'm sorry that you're in pain & coughing so much. :(

I just got run through a dungeon on WoW (Deadmines) on my level 12 pally. :D It was good "girl-time" even though it was a dungeon run-through. :) It made me happy, hehe, because most of the time it's just Jarrod running me through places and that is definitely NOT girl-time... lol. But we had a good time, I even managed to laugh when my toon died... so yes. :) Definitely a good guild on Bronzebeard-US. :)

Anyway. I'm really warm & need to take a shower shortly... but it's only 8pm and I don't want to go to bed just yet. :-/

*cuddles all*

Scarletdreamer 25-07-2010 03:01 AM

I spy Oliver... *glomps* :D

*feels alone - STILL* :(

MammaMia 25-07-2010 03:10 AM

I'm here April....

Really really struggling.....

Kahlia1981 25-07-2010 03:33 AM

*huggles all* - Sorry it's not more. :-(
Feel a bit like I'm letting all of you down ...

Had a chat to my housemate last night. Told him I felt like I "wanted to disappear". He said he could see why - with the anxiety and everything. We had a chat about stuff. Was kind of cathartic really - getting things out in the open.

I do have some good news, but I feel kind of bad sharing it with everyone struggling. :-( Anyway, I made it to my 23 month SI free milestone this morning.

Now I want to give:
Jill: *big hugs*
April: *big hugs*
Helen: *big hugs*
Everyone who is struggling and can accept them: *big hugs*

risenfromperdition 25-07-2010 05:46 AM

oooooo go you =D thats AMAZING =]
*hugs everyone who wants*

misskitty112 25-07-2010 07:51 AM

Kahlia, congrats on the 23 months! And I'm glad you could get things out in the open.

*hugs everyone else*

I need to go to bed. Last performance and second cast party tomorrow. Also I just had a huge fight with my fiance and I'm fighting urges, using the "do something else for five minutes and see if it's still there" method. I need to sleep before I completely destroy myself.

I love you all.

Doikers 25-07-2010 11:54 AM

*Hugs April* Hee glad you enjoyed running through that dungeon. Also I'm sorry I left chat so fast on FB last night :( I was pretty tired ....

*Hugs Helen* I hope you feel better today*

*Hugs Heather* How are you ?

Hugs Kahlia* 23 Months is huge! way to go !:-)

*Hugs Felicia* I'm sorry you had a fight with your fiance , I hope you patch things up soon :)

*Hugs Jill* I hope you got home safe and sound :)

I'm exausted, I crawled ( almost literally) out of bed not long ago , I'm really struggling to function some days , especially before 3 pm or so , sorry.

MammaMia 25-07-2010 12:12 PM

Kahlia, congratulations, I'm 5 months free today *cuddles tight*

Mark, not really, but hey.

Doikers 25-07-2010 12:23 PM

OOOhhh Helen I'm sorry you are still feeling crap:( *Hug*
5 months is a pretty huge acheivement , congratulations!! :-)

wolfos3d 25-07-2010 01:16 PM

I got forgotten about and didn't get any dinner. This is not a good thing on top of the su urges I've been graced with this evening. Nothing has even been said about it. Not even an 'oops, sorry'.

Scarletdreamer 25-07-2010 01:17 PM

I'm sorry you're not feeling any better, Hels. *cuddles*

Mark, it's okay that you left chat so fast, I understand being tired & wanting to get to sleep while it lasts. :) *curls up next to*

Kahlia, glad you had that chat but sorry you're still feeling icky... :( *holds you gently*

Felicia, hope you made it through okay... and also hope that you patched things up with your fiancÚ today somehow. *cuddles*

Heather, how are you?

I just got up & I'm not sure how I'm doing... this is the latest I've slept in, in AGES!!!! So I'm not sure how I feel about that either. Hah. I'm just a mixed up mess I guess. >_<

*hides in a hole*

Scarletdreamer 25-07-2010 01:18 PM

Aw, Jess, I'm sorry. :( Sorry if this is a dense question, but couldn't you have gotten your own dinner? (no condemnation or anything in that question, just curious) Anyway, am sorry that you got forgotten about etc... that sucks... not good for your ED on top of everything else!! *gentle hugs*

Doikers 25-07-2010 01:22 PM

*Hugs Jessica* I sorry you didn't get any dinner , It sucks to be forgoten about , oddly enough a very similar thing happened to me a while ago whilst visiting my parents so I know how it feels :( No fun.

wolfos3d 25-07-2010 01:33 PM

*hugs April and Mark* Thanks. It's not the first time it's happened. My housemate absolutely assured me that it would not happen this evening. I double checked in case I would need to make something instead. My stepdad used to do it to me a lot when I was living at home so it makes me feel a fair bit worse about it.

Scarletdreamer 25-07-2010 02:45 PM

Aww. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say than what I already said, but in any case - *gentle hugs* I hope that today goes a bit better for you. :)

Just got off WoW... *sigh* I've considered taking a break from that game but I don't think I could... hah. :-X So yeah. I don't really know. I mean, I "need" the social interaction from the game but it's driving me absolutely wild now (compare snare with level 80s and how many people in my main guild on Silvermoon have, etc., etc...)... so yeah. I'm taking a break from that realm and working on a toon on Bronzebeard instead. :-/

So damn over this. All of it. :(

*cries softly in a corner*

katnovia 25-07-2010 03:30 PM

*crawls into the warren* *breathes deeply* I'm trying to stay calm. everything seems to have kicked off over the last week. I have so many appointments coming up i'm completely overwhelmed. I feel like there's someone who's tugging on my right hand and mind, but they're not 'coming out and i cant figure out who they are. *curls up in a ball and hides*

Scarletdreamer 25-07-2010 04:06 PM

*cuddles Kat* I don't blame you for being stressed - it sounds like you've been through a lot lately & I'd be stressed if I were you as well. *extra cuddles*

Doikers 25-07-2010 05:15 PM

*Hugs Kat* I'm sorry you are overwhelmed , I get overwhelmed by little things (Comparitivly) but I can understand why you feel this way :S

shadowedsoul 25-07-2010 05:35 PM

Thanks everybody we got home around 2.30, was a really long night.
Hmm I really have got one messed up family, just want to hide as I can't handle today. Wish I could just disappear of the face of the earth.

nicole94 25-07-2010 05:43 PM


hidingme 25-07-2010 05:44 PM

veri switchy toda i tink.

sadie takd ovr a pos i waz riting as i roted it.
=/ switchy meens hed akes gona com get me.
tomoro bes the big scaree dr day.

i scard veri veri scard..
i reeli hop tat i can bes saf insid an hiding talk drs tis time. i hops hers no stuk insid an me stuk outsid lik last tim we talk dr.

it waz veri veri scaree.
i scard i bes stuk out with drs agin an hiding stuk insid an tat tey no let michel bes wif me an ten i bes al lone wif scaree drs.

i scard.

MammaMia 25-07-2010 06:13 PM

Screw everything.

Doikers 25-07-2010 06:13 PM

Sarah and Sadie and Hiding *Hugs* I'm sorry you are switching a lot today :S I hope the headaches don't get you too bad . I hope Hiding is out when you meet your Dr tommorow and that the appointment go's smoothly :)

*Hugs Nicole* Why do you Hide?

EDIT:-Ohh Helen we posted at the same time , whats up? *Hug*

nicole94 25-07-2010 06:15 PM

*hugs mark* i dont know, maybe im hoping the bad thoughts wont find me if i hide.

katnovia 25-07-2010 06:16 PM

April: *cuddles* It doesn't feel like a lot, well it does, but it doesn't...oh i dont know.
Mark: *hugs* I'm probably doing the worst thing and some of it is going under the carpet.
Sarah: Im sure that everything will be fine sweetheart, try not to be too scared.
Nicole: *searches for nicole and leaves her a big bundle of cuddles* you alright?
Shadowedsoul: *hugs* sorry, i've completely lost track of your name again, i feel awful. I'm sorry that you are feeling bad.
Helen: *cuddles* whats up darling?

xXMessedUpXx 25-07-2010 06:21 PM

I want to give you all hugs :(

I'm not living, i'm just existing. things have gone from bad to worse.

Doikers 25-07-2010 06:26 PM

*HUGS Beki*

Oh Nicole I hope the bad thoughts don't find you .

nicole94 25-07-2010 06:29 PM

thanks mark. so do i. damn my mum for trusting me :/ its not a good idea!
im having so many panick attacks :(

katnovia 25-07-2010 06:35 PM

*hugs beki too*

MammaMia 25-07-2010 06:45 PM

*cuddles everyone*

I'm really struggling. That's what's wrong. I'm sick of people stabbing me in the back, so much for loyalty hey? I don't know who the hell I can trust right now. There's only one person I trust with my life and I'm scared shitless of ****ing up with them :'( Sick and tired of people thinking they can use me as the scapegoat all the time. Well I'm not a goat.I'm a human, who happens to have FEELINGS!!!!!!!!

nicole94 25-07-2010 06:48 PM

*holds helen tight* sorry, im feeling pretty crap right now and dont really know what to say, but you can come hide with me if you like?

xXMessedUpXx 25-07-2010 06:58 PM

can i come hide too? don't want to deal with this. its the anniversary of my grandads death and my bf dumped me for good. its too much. im not strong enough for this.

nicole94 25-07-2010 07:00 PM

*hugs* of course you can. maybe we should just all barricade ourselves in a room where noone can find us?

xXMessedUpXx 25-07-2010 07:03 PM

i like that idea. i think i'd feel safe there. i dont feel safe here

nicole94 25-07-2010 07:09 PM

*hugs* me neither. damn bad thoughts :( heh, just looked on your profile, you have BPD. me too, was diagnosed in march (but only found out like a week ago)

xXMessedUpXx 25-07-2010 07:14 PM

My bpd has been out of control this week (bf had gone on hols), finding it impossible to cope. i live with my, well now ex bf and i'm scared for when he comes back. i'm seeing my OT tomorrow so i hope to god she listens to what i tell her cos it could make the differecne between me being here and me not. today was a bad day anyway and now its 10ox worse.

how are you coping with the diagnosis? does it feel better to have a name for it?

MammaMia 25-07-2010 07:18 PM

*hides with you both*

nicole94 25-07-2010 07:18 PM

aaw *hugs* im coping quite well, i dont really understand it yet, but i know how bad it can get, i went through a 3-month bad patch at the begging of the year, so bad that i was overdosing every week (enough to end up in hospital) it can get awful, hope yours calms down soon. are you doing DBT?

Scarletdreamer 25-07-2010 07:30 PM

*cuddles all* Sorry no individuals right now except *extra hugs for all* haha... usually it's for one or two specific people but now it seems like all of the people that are posting are having a really tough time of it... so yeah. :( I wish I could make things better.

Jarrod & I had a sorta-argument today on the way home from church... it truly sucked. :( I wish I could just stopppp it all and get off this stupid carousel... it's truly stupid, really really is, the way I'm feeling & the way I've been feeling - super sensitive, beyond what is "normal" for me. I cried today in Dunkin Donuts & didn't even know why. :( Feel so pathetic. Guhhh.

But at least I got a coffee coolatta that I can enjoy. ;)

*more cuddles for those who want them* ♥ Keep hanging in there...

xXMessedUpXx 25-07-2010 07:39 PM


i get no help with my BPD, they don't have the resources. Or don't care.

I can't even get therapy right now cos of red tape

shadowedsoul 25-07-2010 07:45 PM

Argh!!! How the hell can you go from okay to that in a matter of seconds. Don't know what to do cry or just trying and ignore it. Feel like crying right now but no need to keep being strong can't break my perents don't need this right now.

misskitty112 25-07-2010 07:48 PM

*hugs Becki* I'm sorry getting help is so tough.
*cuddles everyone in the thread* I don't have enough energy to do individuals...

My fiance and I just keep getting in worse fights. God forbid I want him to come to the last day of my play... God forbid... Why does being sad when he doesn't come make him so mad?

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