*hugs Lia* I'm suicidal, tired, fed up, ill & worried. How are you?

I tried to enjoy mine. I had spag bol :P My head is sore, but better. *hugs*

*hugs you lots*

Louise, ouch about your knee.

FML. If being suicidal, ill and suffering with a migraine isn't enough. My Mum's been in a right ****ing mood with me today :'( She now thinks I'm cutting again JOY >.< She clearly doesn't trust me and that ****ing hurts. She didn't speak to me throughout the whole of dinner. FML I just need to die now. I'm over everything. I can't do this :'(

I'm listening too, Lia. *hugs*

*Hugs Helen Tons*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Helen* I understand how that feels. My best friend doesn't trust me either and she thinks I'm the Ice Queen the rest of the world believe I am. That hurts. Like hell. So I can understand. If it weren't for the fact that it's December, I'd advise you to go around in shorts and a vest top to prove that you aren't. So that was basically useless information seeing as it is. Now this is just a whole load of pointless jumble. Like me. Please try and distract yourself, do something you enjoy, rock out to Christmas music, just something to take your mind off the thoughts. Don't forget that you've done so well to be free as long as you have and no one, not even your mum, can take that away from you.

And thanks Mark and Felicia, I really do love you guys, but I'm really alright :)

One of my old friends was supposed to be coming to visit tonight but I've convinced him not to come. I've pushed him away. I desperately want people in my life but at the same time i'm scared of them because of social anxiety, and of losing them. I've told him that there's no point in coming to see me, that i'm not who I used to be and that I don't want to see anyone because I just mess up friendships. He still wants to see me though but i've asked him to make it another night because I am distressed by all of this. Losing my only close friend because I told her too much about my mental health problems has made everything worse for me.

I hate myself for being like this, for being me. I'm never going to be comfortable around anyone.

I've got myself into a state and tried to phone the voluntary crisis team but it's ringing out. It's not supposed to do that. If they are out of the office they divert calls to their mobile phone. I don't know what to do

I read two more pages of my game manual , Darn this lack of concentration and motivation but I read them , Thats a start right? I hope the game proves more of a distraction than the manual. Games , isn't this rather pathetic for a 30 year old?

Oh Lindsay Don't do that!:( Please hun , Keep talking to us , You won't be like this for good , Life gets better , it has too , for every single one of us :) . Perhaps seeing your friend one night will lift your mood , even a touch ?

*hugs Mark lots*

Thanks Lia :) Means a lot. What you said wasn't pointless jumble :)

It's not pathetic Mark. I'm 16 and watched cbeebies (a channel of shows desgined for five year olds). I still watch a programme I watched when I was four whenever I am channel hopping and it's on. My best guy friend and I also 'raved' down the street making wooing noises. Seriosly, nothing is ever pathetic classed by age :)

Glad you actually managed to make sense of it Helen :) Are you managing to distract yourself at all?

*Hugs lindsey* I know how you feel (most over used phrase of the day), I am so scared my friends will hate me if I dare to share any of this with them, but Mark's right, maybe he can make you feel better. You don't have to talk about anything heavy, you can just chillax and try and have a good time.

Yeah..at the moment. I'm watching X Factor & talking to my best friend.

Good :) Have you been watching Casualty lately Helen? (I'm not a stalker, I saw you've posted on the thread a few times).

No I haven't. Been paying more attention to X Factor lol :P

Oh you bum, I'll have to find someone else to discuss this issue with then. Gutted at my life ;)

I only have 2 more papers to write, and 3 tests and I'll have survived this semester. This stupid Brit Lit paper is kicking my ass though.
*sighhhh* 3 pages down, at least 4 more to go.

You're getting there Felicia :) You can totally do it !!

Lia - tell me anyway? :P

Well sure, this next part will make no sense to anyone bar Helen and fellow watchers (that makes me sound like someone off Buffy the Vampire Slayer), I am just confused about what in the world is going on with the whole Kirsty/Adam/Warren storyline. Have you seen any of those episodes? I'm not quite sure what is going on in that marriage of theirs...

...And to anyone that doesn't watch it, I have made it seem as if there's this weird three way marriage thing going on.

And well done Felicia :) You'll get there.

Lia :P A Fellow Buffy Watcher? (No pun intended) Gosh I haven't watched that in a while , wow , Do you get thehorrorchannel on Free sky? Angel is on it at 8pm weekdays , I think it just started last week. Sky Channel 319 , (I don't work for Sky:p Heh)

Right Night Wardmates :)
*Hugs y'all*

I don't watch Angel and I've only seen a few Buffy episodes. Some of my favourites are 'Helpless' 'Hush' 'Killed by Death' and 'Ted'. I like the more creepy ones. Night night. *Hugs*

Can't help I'm afraid Lia :( Maybe ask in Casualty thread?

God I'm supposed to be doing something nice for myself, my best friend told me I had to before she went to bed =/

Why do the both of us have to be ill & struggling so much, it's not ****ing fair :'( I can't do this, I really feel like I can't.

Alas, I will have to use finger energy to go find it!

*Hugs Helen* You can do this, and you will both get through it. You've gone so long without SI, you must be proud of that and it proves you can overcome things.

*hugs Lia* I know we'll both get through it :) I know I should be proud but I don't really feel proud :S

You should be. It's something to be proud of and more than I can do. You can do this, and I'm proud of you even if you're not.

Hey everyone :) *Hugs for everyone* I LOVE Casualty! Its awesome! I have a spoiler to lol.

Oh yay Ian! I can discuss this with you. What exactly is going on with them two (Warren and Kirsty) cos I am just confused now...

Hehe lol well i think Warren treats Kirsty bad which is why she makes alot of excuses.

Got that bit. He plays a lot of mind games with her and I noticed he gets sehr jealous. There's talk of violence as well, although we have never actully seen any of that. I have watched this show since I was about 5. It's a ledge.

Who is your favourite character/s?

Hmm...I have watched it since the beginning of time, so that's a tough one...I like Ruth because I think she's misunderstood and I want to give her a hug most of the time. I think she's lonely, but like me she just doesn't know how to show her true emotions. I like Kirsty as well cos she's just cool and I did like Jess before she buggered off. I think Dixie, Jeff and Polly make an awesome threesome in the least disturbing way possible. It's hard to chose, I've seen so many come and go.

I like Tess, Charlie, Zoe, dixie and Jeff. I miss Comfort, i really liked her and i miss Abs, Maggie Kelsy and Josh.

I like Zoe, she's nice. Espcially today. Kelsey was lovely too, I always thought her and Big Mac would make a sweet couple. I'd better go to sleep now anyhow, school in the morning. Night night, poor fellow wardies who are just gonna have to skip over our ramblings :) *Hugs*

hey guys - I hope you are all ok and staying safe on this rather cold night.

Just a quick note, I've had to edit a few posts a couple of pages back, as they were breaking the rules of not posting ED stats [see those rules here]. If you have a read of those rules, you'll see that posting amount of calories, weight, BMI, foodlists and other things are againts the rules; it'd be great if you could bare that in mind on this thread :)


Also, I wanted to say having barely ever been in vets before, seeing such supportive replies on this thread restored my faith in humanity a bit, so thank you for that :)

Night Lia take care *Hugs Lia* Wow its so quiet in here, anyone else around?

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Purple Rain* Hello , I'm Mark , I hope hugs are okay, *Waves if not*

hey Mark, nice work still being here and basically holding the ward together with all your support. You're awesome :)

JK
x

*hugs mark tightly*
hi jk

JK!!! *HUUUUUUGS* How have you been ? Good to see you back :D

*Hugs Julie* How are you?

Morning , i have been up since 5 am
Made coffee anyone want some ?

OOhh Coffee , yes please:) Why up so early?

* pours Doikers a mug of coffee *
i went to my bed at 8.30 last night

Heh I went to bed at 9pm lol , I still didn't manage to force myself out of bed until 12 hours later :P .
I'm Mark btw , welcome to the ward , it's a bit quiet whilst people are at work, Uni etc but more people do show up later on , Thanks for the coffee :) How are you Willow?

Hi Mark, Am doing ok apart from not eating much.
How are you ?

I'm feeling okay , Needed that coffee :) I have an appointment at 1.30pm and am struggling to pass the time between now and then . I might try and learn another couple of pages of my game manual today , *Listens to his Music and sips his coffee*

I just got 1st on Curveball ,Woop! I'll be mentioning this again later when more people are on :P(Sorry to brag)

Yay well done !!

Hee! Thankyou :) I've been trying a while , been creeping up the leaderboard and now .......Yay!

Just Wrapped a Christmas gift for Mariama my Neice , her first Christmas , She was born on the 2nd January , It's a baby book , (I guess Presants for babys are more for their parents ?) I also bought her some festive leggings :)

Those sound like very thoughtful presents, Mark.

I phoned the voluntary crisis team last night wanting to talk about what was making me feel suicidal but the person who answered just wanted me to distract myself so we ended up just talking about me going to bed. I then went to phone a helpline but decided against it because I couldn't be bothered talking any more. Everything seems hopeless. It's so snowy here that I don't know if my brother is going to be able to visit on my birthday or maybe even Christmas.

*Hugs Lindsay* I hope you're okay. Umm it's good that you called someone and helplines have their place too but are not for us all . I rang a helpline for the first time ever recently and they were nice to me. It takes a lot of courage to call any of those people , well done you :)!

hugs everyone