*huggles and cuddles for everyone*

I'm too mean to deserve cuddles.
I considered jumping off a bridge today, theoretical mostly, the bridge wasn't high enough, would have ended up soggy in the river, maybe with banged up legs. River was pretty. Whole are was in a damp rainy kind of way.

*hangs out in basement, screaming and sobbing*

*breaks into susans basement and tackle hugs her* honey, you're not to mean. You're wonderful. I am so sorry things aren't right fo ryo uright now. what happened that has switched you around so terribly? Please pm me adn talk to me!!!! *cuddles you tightly*

If I had the ability to see the truth then surley I wouldn't have paranoia anymore?
*Leaves a tray of yummies for people to pick at*

Hey all. I just wanted to share with everyone my good news. I have made one week SI free. Right now I do want to kill my parental units. . . and also, during my ECT this morning I managed to take a swing at one of the docs who annoys the living crud out of me - because he scared me .... which incidentally is quite possibly why I'm not in hospital under a Section 50. (I mean that he realised that he had scared me which is why I reacted with a punch.)

I really want to get out of here - or destroy my father. Does anyone mind if I just curl up on the floor and cry for a few hours ??

*takes a minute to wash sore and burning eyes*
*cuddles Kahlia* If the doc scared you then I don't blame you for swinging at him.
*grabs a handful of 1ofmany's yummies*
*sits in basement curled up in Jess' cuddle, chomping goodies and looking at the light*

just keep looking at the light susan let us help you come back up and join us in it, you are not any of the things you say you are and please stay away from bridges for the time being!
well done kahlia keep it up and the dr was mean for scaring you he deserved it!

We are in the mountains, bridges are inevitable. I like rivers and streams anyway since I live on the edge of the desert.

*looks at the light and chomps munchies*

Feeling safer already, this is a good idea thanks very much, ive been in a pyche ward before. Was in there for fifteen months, on a very high observation level, that meant i had to be within arm reach of the nurses all the time and non stop for about 6 months, i then got moved down to level threes obs for about four months on and off and eventually got on 10 miniute checks.

it was an awaful place to go as i attempted many suicidal acts. i do agree though that it allowed you to be yourself and also it meant that you had somebody there to catch you when you fall down.

i feel like falling down now, so to have this virtual ward i can take off this mask that we all wear and feel safe for a bit.

thank you very much.

love and best wishes to all.

*hugs everyone*

*sigh* things always come to a head just when you don't need them to, don't they? The guy that got my cousin pregnant (read as raped her) with her son, Jake, has now gone and done the same thing to another woman. Who is now also pregnant. I should mention that my cousin never recovered from that incident, and even having Jake didn't help, she.. well she killed herself so... bad bad memories. hate it. *hides out in the smoking area and screams and cries lots* gah.

*cuddles everyone and looks after you all*

I'm doing really **** tonight. One of my ryl friends has gone and said she's going to kill herself.

*screams* Why does this have to keep happening to all my friends? I can't stand the waiting. I'm havig a **** day as it is. Feel like cutting yet again so close to 3 months...

*cuddles susan and pets* that light will never go away sweetheart, it will always be there.

To everyone else... *spread hugs out for you all* you can pm me if you need to. *hugs*

*hangs a free hugs sign around my neck* free hugs for anyone who wants them! i dont know if i'll be able to give any good advice but i can always try
*huggles and cuddles everyone*

*snuggles up with a teddy and cries* i am rather scared that i may be slipping backwards slowly and there seems like there is nothing i can do... cos all of the things around me are out of my control

*cuddles everyone*

I'M THREE MOTNHS FREEEEEEEE!

Congratulations Helen!

I'm waiting and worrying and doing it for spit and feeling selfish for feeling needy.

*puts games back together. wonders how "sauteed mushroom" color paint looks with a tangerine soda pop (fizzy drink) wash on one wall of it.*
*makes sheer white curtains for the window to go with white trim as a way of apologising for being such a *****

*hugs everyone who wants, needs or is offering*

*goes back to basement pulling trapdoor closed to weep and wonder and wait.*

well done hells hun **hugs** i hope you carry on doing well **wanders off in search of a dream free bed**

Thanks you two =D

*gives you both tons of cuddles*

A recap of my day today (or lack thereof)... went to bed at like 3:30 this morning... and didn't get up until 10:30pm!!!! Ugh... the joys of living with the side affects of depression ><

**looks around** i wish i could sleep

:hugs bound by thoughts

i have days like that 2

Hey manda, i'm just glad you said living with the side affects of depression and not depression with the side affects of living :P *pets*

ive failed myself badly
i promised myself an early night and its nearly 5 am
ffs
i balls it all up
every****!ingtime

Thanks Hun...
*hugs back*
it sucks!!!!

no probs hun
pm me anytime
x

im off
i need sleep:doze:
see ya

;-)

go helen :)
and everyone else who's been free for ANY length of time

*whine*why does EVERY event for the first week of school involve food =\

*hugs Heather*

*hugs back*
my friend from home's sending me her teddy cause she was gonna give it to good will but i said i wished i had mine cause i left it at home by accident so she said she'd sned it to me <3 love her :)

hugs everyone

URRRRRGH it's nearly 6am :(

*snuggles*
go sleep?

*Emerges from basement to carefully wash tangerine diet rite off of bro's beautiful paint job. Carefully washes floor. Appreciates pretty room and pulls out hand work and sits in nice oak chair and does hand work. Takes a quick minute to appreciate nice sheer curtains that let in the light and match so well with white trim*

Sorry, but I still can't stand games. I watch though while others play. Do my hand work and be company.

Sorry I've been such a bwat.

One week and five days. Almost two weeks.
My friend said if I make it to two months she'll paint me a picture!
xx

Keep going Zowie, really proud of you <3

Way to Go Zowie!
Good morning Amanda, I see you there lurking.
*gulps diet pepsi*

Pffft... I don't know what's so "good" about it...

Ok, Hello Amanda. I know. Really I do.

The carpet in this motel room is seriously icky. Usually I go barefoot till the last minute but not today. Oh well, we could afford it and it has internet access.

Allie Is Dead!!!!!!!!!
She cant be dead..
she can't!!!!
I NEED HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amanda dear, what is going on? Do you mean our Ally?
*cuddles you*

No... a different Allie on RYL that has helped me through a bunch... her screen name is peanuttree... SHE IS DEAD!!!!

*cuddles you*
Please send your Auntie Blondie a PM and tell me what is going on?

*cuddles Amanda*

I'm sorry to hear that sweetie

i am so sorry to hear that, if there is anything i can do to support you just ask xxx

hugs for all

*collaspes and coutniues to cry*

I keep crying on/off, wish I could cry some more...

There is a thread for remembering Allie in....i think serious discussion?

*sends cuddles to everyone*

*lays in corner... exhausted from crying...
but continues to cry... can't hardly breathe...
crying so hard...*

*HUGS ALL*

*Hugs all* I just read that peanuttree is dead, I'm so sorry to hear that. If anyone needs to talk, I'm just a PM away.

Feeling very triggered right now, I don't know if I can make it through the night.

*snuggles for all*

*snuggles Helen*