Again agreed :D

I'm sick & tired of family lying. I'm sick & tired of my dad's half of my family have turned against me and mum ever since my dad walked. It's almost like my Mum cheated or badly hurt him or ****ing something. It hurts me too. They are all twats. I hate my family. See isn't it funny how all my mum's side of the family including her other children..(ie my other siblings) have so much care & love for us all. Just the ****ing last thing I need right now.

I hate my life. I hate me.

I hope the flashbacks calm down too .... they are getting more than a little intense. I started with classical ballet then moved through to modern - both contemporary and jazz and tap. I am qualified to teach modern and tap and am a member of the RAD (Royal Academy of Dancing). My favourite dance-related times however were when I was in a company many years ago for youth. We did some of the best performances that I can ever remember. *sigh*

I think I'll just sneak into the denial tent and pat puppy sinClair. (I love cocker spaniels)

Sorry, I've missed about five pages so don't have time to read it all. But am thinking of all of you xxx

The Rocky Horror themed party was brilliant, I went as Magenta. xx

Bet you looked great Zowie :)

Have just qucikly read through all the posts, thanks for all the hugs etc offered.

*offers hugs and biccies*

*clambers into denial tent but leaves a small opening to smoke out of*

Have read through all the posts, Im sorry everyone seems to be having a rough stage.

I feel really distressed today, I don't know why, I had nightmares last night and now I just want my mummy. I can't stop the tears and I have to go back to uni in 15 mins. I just want it to go away now. I wish I still lived at home.

I want the nightmares to stop.
I want the flashbacks to stop.
I want the panic attacks to stop.
I want this **** time for everyone to stop.
*sighs deeply*

Just found out I can FINALLY go pick my IT assignment up, am so excited yet so scared about it. I'm not in uni until Wednesday this week, but I might go in tomorrow to sort a counselling appointment out and to pick it up. :) Or then again, I may wait....

*wakes up from drug induced sleep and crawls straight back into denial tent*
thats really good kahlia. i could be a member of the RAD thanks to all the exams i did, but would have to pay, so thats a no no! i think in the uk we're the only ones to call contemporary contemporary, i think elsewhere its modern? not sure. i miss it so much. dancing was who i was, and now i have nothing. sounds pathetic but its true. hope the flashbacks are lessening.
its his funeral today. and i have so much things to sort out and i just cant do anything. ergh x

Im sorry that everyone is going through such a tough time right now, thats including me.

There are just to many to name but < HUGE hugs > to everyone.

If we keep on talking, it should help. To know that your not the only one out there, that there are people that care helps.

I care for you all so much and wish I could wave that magic wand to make you all smile again.

To top off my very low mood < rock bottom >, I dont feel to well either. I just feel YUK inside and out. < sits in tent away from people so I dont spread my germs >

Love Jade xxx

I feel like I should be doing.
I think I'm meant to be doing something today but no idea what :S
Ah well

Oh Mamma Mia < big hugs >

I know that feeling, Im just about to reply to your post xxx

Jade xxx

checking in....for those who know me, i will be gone for a little bit...im going into hospital for a little visit to get myself all straightened out. i have become a mess. for those who dont know me, hugs and i hope you take care, and are able to stay safe.

Caiden

I hope you will be feeling better soon. At least you will be safe xxx

Please take care

Jade xxx

Great. Now I feel awful.
Voices are so bad and they keep saying the professionals don't believe in them. I think they're right, why else would EIP be stopping their care? Why do they just go 'mmhmm' when I say the voices are bad? When I had my meeting when they diagnosed me with a PD the psychologist said 'you haven't responded to three medications and that kind of tells us something'. To which I got angry and asked if they even believed me, which they said they did. Maybe they just said that to calm me down.
I slipped up. Only four cuts but quite deep.
**** **** ****.

I hope you are looking after your wounds.

I hear voices too. They must believe us because they wouldnt have an "Hearing Voices" group at my Mental Health clinic. Do they do anything like that where you go???

< big hugs>
Jade xxx

I don't know. My first therapy session at the day hospital is tomorrow, I don't know what they offer.
I was offered to go to a hearing voices group a few months ago, and then they didn't follow it up. Probably because they no longer believe me.

Thank you for replying to my thread :)

Zowie, I'm sorry they're not beliving you, trust that WE here believe you, maybe come in the denial tent for a while, it's much safer in there and nothing hurts and everyone belvies us. :D

*looks around nervously*

I came in here the other week but have been too nervous to come back in. I'd like to come into Vets more as sometimes I feel other parts of the site are too young for me, yet I find change and new things difficult. Also it's quite busy in here and I find it hard to reply to lots of posts and so feel bad posting here if I don't reply and support everyone.

[ends ramble sorry]

hello pixie *waves* dont be shy, we'll look after you.

I think Helen's idea is good. *Crawls into denial tent and cries for a while*

Thanks zowie *hugs* Sorry you feel bad. I hope it goes ok tomorrow.

*also thinks the denial tent is a good idea*