Self. confidence. issues. suck.
I can't even talk to a guy I'm interested in cause I'm afraid of rejection. I just want to be beautiful, damnit.

I'm sorry. I'll do individuals later. I just needed to get that out.

Self confidence issues indeed suck Felicia . I've seen photos of you on Facebook, You are Beautiful , Really :) *Hugs*

Thanks, Mark. You wanna come convince this guy of it?
I really really like him, but the fear of rejection takes over all the damn time.

*hugs lots* <3

i love all you guys :)
who wants to move me to england so theres no such thing as thanksgiving?
kthx

*Hugs Heather* *Teleports Heather to the UK* :)

Felicia, how do you know that the guy you like doesn't think you're beautiful? Chances are he does and its your fear thinking he doesn't. However, if he doesn't, you can't force someone to change their opinion of you & it's his loss anyway.

Why are all my DVD's Violent or Horror? I need something light and cheery to take my mind off things , I mean I like violent/horror movies but not how I feel tonight . I don't want anything with death in it no matter how unrealistic , .and I simply don't own anything like that *Sigh*

You are beautiful Felicia.

And Mark, you could always youtube something. Watch a bit of Lee Evans, I love that man.

I watched EastEnders, and weirdly, it cheered me up. It hardly has a rep for being the happiest thing on earth, but the line 'if he sits in that chair for too long he gets all stiff' was said, so I was hysterical from there. Cos I'm mature like that.

Lia ! Mature indeed , you just bought a smile to my face , GO Lia!

semi-busy day in here.. good to see. *hugs ward*

i wish i could talk. why do i suck at it so much? anyway, i know you are all struggling, don't want to bother anyone.

*Finger Paints with Owen and sits next to*

*Joins in finger painting*

Totally know the feeling Laura. Although I actually admitted my feelings just now :o

Argh! Unnecessary apostrophe in my other post! I must change it immediately.

I'm glad I made you smile Mark :)

oo finger painting! *joins in if thats okay*

*hugs lia* good job on admitting your feelings! i wish i could in more than vague references. I'm sorry you can understand it tho.

*Watches Finding Nemo with Owen* It's got fish in it ?

Not all the way through no ,erp :P

Mark! You MUST come to the US and watch movies with me if you haven't seen Finding Nemo all the way through! =)

*grabs a handful of popcorn* I've gotta go to class. ugh. Love you guys!

*Nabs a handful of popcorn* Yum :)

Yeah! Cor Mark, I can't believe you've never seen Finding Nemo! *Curls up on the sofa/wherever we are sitting beside the others and nicks some popcorn*

Wow, we're childish.

I know what it's like Laura, but I also know how you can want so much to talk, but you feel you're not worth it, you don't want to burden others and you don't matter enough. You just can't bring yourself to say anything because you're so scared people are going to see you differently and if you dare to tell anyone anything, it's no longer under your control and everything's spiralling away from you. So you wear a mask. You plaster on a smile and pretend like everything's just fine fine fine, because if people knew the real you, they'd hate you as much as you hate yourself.

Eventualy though, they decide you're a hard hearted stone faced, uncaring cow and hate you anyway.

*Hugs Lia* I don't hate you , never will :)
Also.....
It's okay to talk even if others are struggling , you're NOT burdening people at all .

I know you are not hard-hearted Lia... none of us in here think that. *hugs* I can really related to what you said there though. Except a huge part for me is that I don't want to screw people up with my whining. Someday i hope there is no need for you to wear a mask b/c you deserve better than that.

*watches nemo for a little bit before class*

You're alright Owen ;) It's the rest of us who need to go back to primary school. I am 16 years old. Mark is 30. This is bad guys ;)

And thank-you Mark :)

That's a part of it for me too Laura, there's so many reasons which is why I can never define it to people, plus, defining it would mean taking off the mask ;) The same I goes for you too though. You deserve better because I know what a lonely existance this is.

Ah, I hope I never grow up :)

*huggles all and waves at Owen*

Got my psychiatrist appointment this afternoon. Yay // sarcasm intended
No sleep last night and deep depression and massive anxiety. Woot
*sigh*

*hugs lia, mark, and felicia*
*bakes some yummy cookies for owen and everyone else*

sorry guys. i don't know if i can make it through any of this. Another 2 weeks of no SI down the drain. Currently wishing some things i've tried in the past had worked. Wouldn't have to be here now.

EDIT: *hugs kahlia* aw im sorry you didn't get any sleep hun. I hope you psychiatrist appointment goes okay. Can you tell him about what is going on lately? Maybe he/she? will be able to help.

Wow i just realized this took me 15 minutes to type.

*hugs ward*

Have I done something to upset everyone? :S

sorry helen. i didnt mean to miss you earlier, i just kinda jumped in and never caught up with people from before. My bad. Sorry again. *cuddles*

Thanks Mark :) Hey everyone :) anyone around? Hows everyone?

Don't worry about it Laura, everyone's ignored my posts today. Hence me asking if I've upset everyone. *cuddles*

Ian, I'm around?

Hey *Cuddles Helen* how are you?

Oh thank you Mark :) I like butterflies!!

*cuddles Ian* I'm okay, feeling bit sad & really tired though. How you doing?

*Cuddles Helen* I'm ok i guess. Just made a cup of tea!

Oh cup of tea, nice, I'm just sipping on one too :) Heh.

Hi Helen!! :D

:-D *hugs Kaytee* how are you Kaytee? Do you like my new picture under my username people?

*hugs Ian back* I'm ok. Enjoying your cup of tea? :) And I do like your picture :) :D So cool :)

Aww thanks :) yeah i did i finished it about 5 minutes ago! Glad your ok. *Snuggles up with duvet in the corner* *feels sad*

*huggles all & waves at Owen*

So over it all. Wishing I could just give in. Can't take much more of this. *sigh*

*hugs Ian* I love your picture
*hugs Kahlia*
*waves at Owen*

My best friend is in the hospital. My roomie's depressed. And I'm me... This is a joyful life... not.

Thanks, Owen! I love flowers! =)