*Hugs Sarah* I hope you're OK.

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Lia* I know you have your mask but it's scary (To me) that it's taking over , I'm worried about you hun :S

I am going for a early night lie down , put some music on and try to think non-triggering thoughts.

Hugs Mark* I hope you're OK. Sorry for my rant.

*cuddles Lia* I really hope you're okay, I'm worried for you x

*snuggles Mark* Nighty night *tucks in*

*HUGS Lia* i @m just triggered . not your doing . just AM . It'sperfectly okay to rant here Lia , Don't be sorry :)

*Hugs Sarah , Am back up :P.

Not coping so well the devil keeps telling me to OD

*hugs Mark* my friends don't want to talk to me and my Fiance is ill and in bed, so I'm all lonely here. As I signed into MSN everyone changed their status and 3 people went offline. I think its because I had such a rough time recently its become a burden more than anything. They all have their own worries, they don't need mine too. Even my fiance is getting fed up of how down I am all the time, I mean I can't help it and I'm trying to make it go away but it won't. My mood won't lift and he's annoyed that there's something wrong every day. Real life sucks.

*hugs RYUU* Please don't listen. You shouldn't OD, you're strong, you can beat it. Is there anywhere you can go to be away from the pills?

*Hugs Ryuu* Please try not to OD , Can you talk to your hubby? Or Music , Music is so good for diverting attention .

*Hugs Sarah*I'm sorry you're lonely , I know its not the same as IRL friends / Fiance but I'll listen to you :) I'll be on here for about an hour

Thanks Mark :) you're amazing, I love it in here. I feel safe and calm and like everyone cares. Feels lovely.

Edit: He just said its too difficult to have fun around me now because of how I'm down all the time. Feels like that was a bit harsh. I mean I've been a pain because I've not been happy and I've attempted to OD a few times. I've been really bad and this isn't helping. :(

It's okay Sarah , that's what's so great about this place , everyone cares :) Thanks for calling me amazing , Made me smile :-)

Thanks Mark. Just so fed up. I don't know what to do. I've tried, I'm heavily medicated and I'm seeing people and keeping a diary and talking to anyone who will listen and asking for advice... I just feel lost. :(

I know the feeling of being heavily medicated up and talking to pretty much anyone , you're not alone . I'm sorry you feel lost , could you talk to a Dr perhaps about changing your meds , they clearly don't seem to be working out for you .

I have an appointment Friday. I feel so terrible. Its just not fair.

*Cuddles Sarah* It isn't fair no but it WILL get better for you , ask your Dr to switch you onto a different med/s

I will do, thanks Mark *cuddles*

Been so rough recently, I'm not sure if its because things are getting worse or if its the meds...

So run down too, bones are achy and stiff :(

Could you look up the side effects of the meds on the leaflet that came with them? , Aches and stiffness could be in the list.

Is alas from my previous joint problems, they just act up even more when I'm miserable

I have a feeling I've asked this before but can you take any pain meds for the pain? sorry If you've already told me that.

Yeah, paracetamol. Been applying heat on the sore bits too. Got an appointment with rheumatology in 2 weeks time for a review.

Okay good , I mean it's good that you have an appointment .

It is. I feel really isolated tonight. I hate times like this, regardless of who and what I surround myself with I still feel alone. I don't like it :(

*Hugs Sarah* Sorry you feel so lonely. I know the feeling, and no one seems to accept and understand me either. Like Mark said, I know it's not the same but you'll always have us.

*Hugs Mark* How are the urges? And thanks for earlier :)

*Hugs Lia* Don't worry about earlier , I hope I helped a little bit . The Urges are there still but I'm tired and I am going to bed once it hits 9pm and I don't want the hassle of clearing up the mess hmmm thats a reason to not injure right? I feel so motivationless in general , hate those urges:S

*hugs Mark*
Guess what? I still don't know how to not push my limits, so I'm throwing myself into helping for homecoming for the next two weeks, fun. haha. Oh well, I can do this, yes?

Oh... and I have an ear infection, on top of another sinus infection, and strep... My immune system doesn't do ****.

Since I can't make a coherent thought anymore, something tells me I may have taken on too much.

*Hugs Felicia* You are pushing yourself hard hun , please take care of yourself . I'm sorry you're sick too that really doesen't help matters.

*cuddles Felicia, Mark and Lia* you guys are like family to me <3

I know I push myself really hard. I feel like I have to though, to make something of myself and make people like me. My work will pay off in the end, yes?
But I know I'm taking on a lot... I seriously crashed at 9:45 last night. Fell asleep with my homework still in my hands. Woke up at 6:45 this morning. Took a ton of sore throat medicine and went to class. Fun fun. I got asked to help with Homecoming though... and I can't say no, what if they really need my help?

*hugs Sarah* everyone here's like my family too :)

<3 Sarah<3 I feel the same :)

Felicia, you need to take some you time sweetie x

Thanks for everything guys, you're all amazing

*Spots Crimson and Hugs*

Still feeling all meh, tempted to go make pop tarts and green tea but I want those to have in bed later and I can't go bed yet. Grr.

Will you be okay if I go to bed now Sarah?

Ahhh... my ears hurtttt... How long do pain meds take to kick in?

When did you take them Felicia?

Yeah of course Mark, thanks for staying for me, means a lot <3

I took them about 15 minutes ago.

*Hugs Sarah*You're welcome :)

*Hugs Felicia* I hope your pain meds kick in soon.

I'm off then , to sleep Night night y'all :)

Night, Mark!

Oh and Felicia , I think regular pain killers can take a half hour to work so you are nearly there :)

Nighty night Mark *cuddles*

And Felicia, most start to kick in after around 30 mins, pain meds wise. Not sure on yours but all mine were 30min-1h if that helps *hugs*

Thanks, guys :) They've started to kick in, so that's good.

Thats good :)

I'm so tired and hungry now :(

*hides*

You okay Nicole? *hugs*

*hugs sarah* i suppose, jut a bit triggerd and stressed cause the fairs in town and the amount of noise/people scares me and i cant avoid it cause its literally right outside my front door :(

Oh no. I hate loud noises :( Want a blanket fort? *cuddles*

*cuddles* yes please! :( i want it to be soundproof though please lol. lots of loud noises and flashing lights :( i still went to the fair and went on some rides, it's not so bad early on when its mainly little kids and their mums, it's now when its dark and full of teenagers drinking :(

*Hugs Felicia, Sarah and Mark and Nicole*

You guys are like family to me too. I love this ward.

*produces soundproof fort*

This ward is my sanctuary from all my problems, its my sanctuary from reality and I love it here *cuddles Nicole and Lia*