*snuggles with Heather*
I've been to New Jersay, it was about 12 years ago though.

*curls up and looks around* on phone sorry can't read the thread very well

sok =]
how're you sweetie? =]

really oliver? where in nj?
lol

*offers hugs to all*

Sorry.

*cuddles helen*

*offers hugs to everyone else*
I <3 u guys. Sorry to hear that most of us are struggling. Keep in mind that my PM box is always open. Stay strong.

i wanna say i'm fine i'm so tired and my tummy wants food

*hugs julie* No fine.. i think that word needs a ban in this place heh... u should try to eat something if your hungry, even if its something small.

Me & Kahlia have officially banned the phrase I'm fine from here :P

*cuddles Laura & Julie*

Sorry I missed so many replies, was playing WoW... :o

But my pally on Runetotem hit level 20 today - 20 levels in 3 days, woohoo!! and my priest hit level 19. Oh and Crimson, sent Ashean the names of my toons. :)

I'm feeling a bit better although still definitely ill... going to take a hot bath and see if that makes me feel any better. :-S Hope so. Am so tired of life at the moment and will have to tell my supervisor about my **** weekend... :-S because I didn't get done all of the work I was supposed to. Oops. :'(

*hides in a deep, deep hole forever* :'(

O i missed the ban :-P oops.. well i am joining in support of misuse of the word.

*cuddles julie, helen, and april*

Well, techically it hasn't been said to be banned, but Kahlia did make a couple posts about it and asked people not to or something like that anyway.

Having another bad night. Joyyyyyyyy. >.> Best friend told me to do something kind for myself til I can sleep. So I suppose I better had :( I just want to destruct so much.

lol well i figured it was not literally banned... And you should do something nice for yourself, you deserve it!

i'll probably forget about the ban *curls up and looks at my shapes* i really like u shapes y can't i eat u *throws the shapes at the wall* sorry... sorry...

*huggles/waves at all*

Just got home from my meeting with the Advocate. She can't help us BUT ...
She has referred us to a program that can help step in and provide support with our mental illnesses, she has given us information and supplied a "referral" for systemic advocacy to the highest advocacy person/group in the State, AND she's looking up how we can put in a Ministerial complaint and advised us both to do so. So, I guess it's a good thing, right?

Feeling like I could collapse right now. But I did really well. Gave the Advocate heaps of information that was probably more than she needed. She was really surprised (in a good way) of how organised we were. AND I didn't freeze up, so yay me.

Now I'm counting down the hours until 9am tomorrow when I hit my next milestone on my SI free journey. But am oh, so, very tired. *sighs and collapses onto floor*

Me rest now. :)

*huggles/waves at everyone, then crashes out for a little while on a pile of duvets*

I'm glad :) I will, going to try attempt to watch one of my TV DVDs, hopefully my TV won't throw hissy fits like my laptop did, course I'll still be online too ;)

*offers cuddles*

YAAAAAAAY this made me so happy for you Kahlia!! *biiiig cuddles* What's your next milestone? :D

*huggles Helen* - Hels, it's my 21 months. Only a little milestone, but it's still a milestone. I have to remind my housemate tomorrow. He said we could do something to celebrate. But he won't even remember what day it is lol. He never does. Even when I tell him like 5 minutes before.

^ thats amazing :)

*offers cuddles to julie* try and eat something sweetheart <3

Oh, and I didn't mean to ban the use of the word "FINE". All I meant was that we really should try and use this forum to be honest with each other. If you ARE fine, than say so, but if you aren't and you say you are, then really all you are doing is "saying the world is other than it is" both to us, and to yourself. Sorry if that upsets anyone.

*curls up in corner of room and sighs*

*hugs Kahlia* Go you sweetie, just incase I don't remember to say this later, congratulations <3

*throw confetti around for Kahlia* Great job! On both talking to the advocate and the 21 months!

*hugs julie, helen, and heather*

*hides under blankets for awhile*

I feel soooooooooooo sick, it's horrible :'( *hides*

*cuddles gently* im sorry that you aren't feeling well hun.

*kicks things around in anger* I am doing everything right. Why cant I just be okay? I hate this. I'm done. Whats the frickin' point anyway.

EDIT: i'm sorry you guys. I'm kinda freaking out right now... But it may not be right to post so anger-ly

Thanks Laura - but I've still got some time to go - a whole 17 hours - 'till my 21 month milestone! By the way honey, feel free to let your anger out. It's better than keeping it in. *offers hugs gently*

Hels: Sorry you're feeling sick. :( *big hugs*

A bit knotted up here. Went with my friend to get some stuff from her mother's place. She has been offered a place. She has to go into a Real Estate Agent tomorrow to sign the lease and stuff. Am very relieved for her. It'll mean some stability for the kids.

*sighs and collapses onto a pile of duvets*

*sits sniffles*

*hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs*
Go Kahlia, 21 months is awesome, we should throw a ward party for you :o)
gotta go catch a plane
take care everyone

*sniffles and hides in a corner* I hate being alone. *rubs head* stupid headaches won't go away. Miss you all because I havn't managed to get on and spend some time here with you all.
take care everyone. I'll be about later, maybe, depends on family.

EDIT: congratulations on 21 months Kahlia! Go you!

Way to go Kahlia ,21 Months is great!! :-D

Also Thankyou for everyone who said grats to me for my weekend S.I. free , it means tons :)
I'm back at my flat now and am all hot and it's not yet 9am hmmm hot day ahead methinks.

*HUGS WARD MATES*

*hugs everyone*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*hugs everyone*

I feel sooooo ****. In every single way. Fantastic.

*Sneaks in and hides under a pile of blankets* I have had
enough really have. Can't do this anymore,can't go on
pretending this is okay any more.just want to break away
so badly,just wish it was possible to do right now,screw
waiting for a couple of months,feel very traped and I'm
sufocating. =\

I'm sorry you're both struggling. I'm here if you need anything.

Congratulations on 21 months SI-free (close enough right now anyway!!), Kahlia!!! *does the happy dance just for you* lol... and also for the advocate meeting going so well!! *tosses confetti in the air* And I agree with Hannah, we should have a ward party. :D *cuddles*

And Mark, congratulations again on the SI-free weekend, you did better than I did. *dances with* Am proud of you, if that means anything at all to you. :) *cuddles*

Kat, I'm sorry that you've such a headache and can't focus much. Hope you feel better soon. *huggles gently*

Laura, what's up, sweetie? what's got you so angry? *hands you some old newspapers to shred* It's okay to post angrily in the ward, I know that I have; the ward's a safe place for you to talk about what's going on in your life. I mean, obviously if you've got a problem with a member (minus those who cause trouble on purpose in here, like the fight awhile ago) then talk about it to them via PM or whatever, but that's pretty much common sense. :) Anyway. *cuddles gently after you've calmed down some*

Heather, how're you doing this morning? *cuddles*

Julie, what's up, love? *squishes*

Hels, I'm sorry you feel so ****. :( Also sorry I disappeared last night without saying g'night... *cuddles*

Lindsay, how are you doing now? *huggles*

Jill, love, I'm sorry that you're feeling trapped/suffocated. :( Those are not fun feelings to have and I can definitely relate!! *cuddles gently* Want to talk about it at all?

Hannah, I hope you enjoy your trip!! :) *cuddles* Have fun with your boyfriend, you're going to meet up with him, right? Sorry if I got that wrong... :-S

I think I got everyone who's recently replied... if not I'm sorry & I didn't leave you out intentionally!!

*hides back in her hole* :(

I'm doing ok thanks.

How are you? *hugs*

Glad you're doing okay. :) And also glad that you didn't use the "f word" ... hehe.

I'm alright, I guess. Still sick. Still exhausted. Really don't want to go to work. :-S Hate going to work (internship, not really work, but easier to call it that). Ughhh... :'( I don't mind the job really but I have to revise my goals statement form so they are more psychology oriented... my current goals statement was "insufficient" according to my campus supervisor. So yeah. Am NOT happy about that. :'(

*sigh* :'(

Just want to curl up in a ball and cry. Really don't want to go anywhere today. :'(

Oliver seeing someone new is scary, it means change and letting go of some of your beliefs to make room for more healthy ones. Its understandable that you're reacting the way you are, just enjoy it for what it is and try not to overthink it OK? Its nice to see you back here,I missed you.

April, honey, I read your RV *cuddles gently* I don't have any words of wisom for you but I understand and I care. There will come a day when you don't feel the need to hide so often, you need to believe that. Hope work goes ok and you feel a bit better. Get out there and do it hun, you can do this 'k?

Laura - keep doing everything right babe, it will happen. I can totally relate to what you're saying, its so frustrating at times...rahh..but you are a special person that deserves happiness and I know you will reach it with some patience and continuation of the hard work you're putting in. Noone said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it *hugs*

Helen, sweetie, there's just so much still happening for you, I wish for a stable time for you so you can continue to make progress where you have before.

Kahlia 21 months is outstanding, and gives me such hope that makes me believe maybe I'll get back to those kind of timeframes. The meeting outcome sounds like a good one for you, fingers crossed, you're a smart caring person who deserves some help finally.

Jill, hope you're feeling a little better. That suffocating feeling is horrible hun and I truly hope its lifted for you.

Mark! You've been a bit quiet hun. It is a big achievement getting through the weekend SI free,I find the weekends the hardest, and haven't managed one without SI for a while, so I understand what a big feat it is. Congratulations *hugs proudly*

Julie,honey, please eat a wee bit love, it's OK *cuddles gently*

*whispers* Kat hopefully you're fast asleep and tomorrow will dawn rosier with more hope for you.

Hugs Louise & Hannah & Heather & Lindsay & Emma

Wonders where Crimson, Hayley & Nicole are at.

I am off to bed, ni night everyone
xx

:'( :'( I'm such a ****. She lost her baby & her best friend walks on out on her. :'( :'( :'(

*holds Hels* What happened, sweetie? And you are not that, you're a sweet person who's going through a hell of a lot of stuff right now. :(

JK, pleasant dreams, sweetheart. *tucks you up into your cosy ward bed* :) Hope tomorrow goes okay for you... and thank you for doing individual replies, I know how much energy that takes!! (you didn't say how you were doing though *frown* hehe...)

So I found out that my bestie didn't go to church yesterday because she WAS avoiding me. She said so in a text. :'( I texted her back and said "Didn't you think that I would be glad to see you since we didn't get to hang out on Sat.? am I really that fearsome/annoying?" since she had said that she didn't come to church because she knew she'd "be in trouble for working on Saturday," which is when we had had plans to hang out all day. Instead, she agreed to work at an auction last minute, and told me, so our plans got cancelled and I had a crappy day. :( But seriously, am I REALLY that annoying?! :'( That hurt.

I don't know. See, this just goes to show that I really am NOT a nice person. :crying:

I'm giving her one final chance, she's already had too many. I must be a fool :'( Why isn't leaving simple :'( :'( :'(

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs April* you are so a nice person ! And it means tons to me that you are proud of me :)

*cuddles Hels* I'm sorry you're feeling so awful... is there anything I can do to help?? (probably not as usual but worth asking anyhow!!) *holds you gently*

*cuddles Mark* I'm glad that it means a lot that I'm proud of you. :) And I am NOT a nice person, I may come across as one but apparently my wrath is to be feared... heh. :'( And she still hasn't responded to my last text............ :crying: I feel so damn FULL OF FAIL!!!!!! :'(

Make today end or re-start but certain things don't happen? :'( :'(

JMy best friend thinks my body's going into shock or somethng..

*holds Hels some more* I wish I could do more... :(

I came home from work because I'm so sick. There's a "germophobe" there which I can't blame as she has a very young child (dunno how young, must be pretty young yet though, not in school). I feel "shitastic" as I told Jarrod when I walked in the door... :'( Still have to get stuff done but at least I'm at home...

:'(

*holds april* hope you feel better soon

*cuddles* And I hope that you feel better soon, too. :( Sorry, I didn't mean for that post to be all about me...

It's okay sweetie, I would make more of my posts about myself too, but I can't talk for crying so much atm.

I really miss my daughter :(

Thanks for the hugs guys, hmm it's hard to explain I was
off for a week from work.went to vist some freinds had a
brilliant time,it's was crazy drinking taking drugs just
having a blast. Now I'm home and I feel trapped and feel
like I'm suffocating,noithing feels worth it I'm just going
throught the actions not really giving a sh*t.if that makes
sence at all.I just want to dissapear of back there,don't
want to deal with this crap anymore.

*Hugs Shadowedsoul*