Just got Home :)
*Offers Safe Huggles*

Thanks for the hugs. *offers safe hugs back*

I'm feeling really done for today. :/

How are we all today? **Leaves a Jar of Hugs*

Struggling. I have a few friends going through rough times and watched a show that was unexpectedly triggering last night. My back is spasming out again. Just not a great start to the day.

How are you Mark?

I hate being unexpectedly Triggered :(

I honestly don't know how I am . . . .

*offers safe hugs*

I'm done. I give up. No more life, please.

Really struggling right now. Feeling a bit like what's the point in trying any more?

*places some goodies on the table*

*crawls back in to my hole*

*Climbs into the hole with Kathryn ( Whoa , I had to word that carefully ) and Sits with*

Hey Mark. How are you today?

Much the same . . . .IDK if that's good or bad or neither. How are you Kathryn?

Well you aren't worse so that's good, right?

I'm feeling a bit antisocial at the moment. And overwhelmed. And just overall struggling. Really don't want to be here right now. Meh.

I feel asleep. Ugh. Now I feel worse than before. Could be I haven't eaten much all day. I ache and can barely function.

*Glomps Kathryn*

You know when you wake up and know today is gonna be awful? That. :(

How are you all today?

*Places Pineapple Free Pizza on the Table*

*hugs* Mark. I've had days like that before. Hopefully today will go better than expected!

I'm just sort of here today. Woke up late but have made up a little time. The day just started and I'm ready for it to be over. *yawn* Plus side is the weekend starts tonight!

Submission is sorted without further penalty.
One more assignment for the semester. About 'active aging' based on a paper discussing how it's empty rhetoric. How painful. All I know is that it isn't well supported at work. A flyer and an essay.
Told my bestie that I'm looking for an out from my relationship. The man threatened the three year old with walking out into the bush to die, cos in a tantrum she said she didn't love him. Not on. He admitted it was just a threat. Just one he's used on me multiple times. It is the first major coffin nail. I've fought against his insecurity the entire nine years of our relationship, I won't have her suffering the same.

Yay for only one more assignment! And sorry to hear about your relationship. It's not OK he threatened your daughter (or you!). Has he been to counseling? <3 <3

*places breakfast foods on the table*

I slept horribly. Had a dream about talking to my kid's pediatrician. He's a super nice guy and easy to talk to. The entire dream though was him bringing up my mental health. He had some 112 question thing for me. Bleh. I deal with my mental health during the day so come time to sleep I want nothing to do with it. It's really put me in a funk.

It's an empty, if painful threat. He's never even made it to the door. (just realised it wasn't clear- he said if that was how she felt, that he would walk out and find a mineshaft for himself to die in)
He used to be on anti depressants. But they weren't right for him and he doesn't do the sharing feelings well, even within family. He no longer thinks he has mental health problems, but he's so paranoid and insecure.
It still guts me when he threatens to walk away or hurt himself. I still love him but he won't change, he just proved it with that sentence. And this is not a healthy environment for the little one. I don't want to see him hurt, but I won't let it continue.
And probably the worst part is, I'm not ready to leave yet. I'll live in hope till unis done. Maybe it will change. Maybe....
Oh and if I put as much effort into uni as I have this, my assignment would be done.

*hugs*

On my way to spend the afternoon with hubby's family. I'm on edge and ready to snap so this should be fun.

This world is so dark and evil. I'm terrified that I, including the whole system, can't cope or hold myself/ourselves together.

*disappears into pillow fort*

*Curls up in middle of room*

Just need to not be alone
Feeling really alone and just...idk..... made a thread but since I haven't been posting much don't expect much from it