Recovery Tattoo
 

I have been struggling with depression for as long as I can remember... probably since before I was able to pinpoint it (I usually attributed it to being lonely because nobody in elementary school wanted to play with me at recess). I've had suicidal thoughts since I was 11 or 12, and I had some minor SI tendencies since I was 12 (cutting off circulation, snapping rubberbands against my wrist, etc). and started "officially" cutting when I was 16. Last year, I was put on medication for bipolar disorder which I had to discontinue due to a sudden (temporary) move where I was unable to find a doctor (I was on the medication for about six months.)

I wanted to get a tattoo to symbolize my ongoing struggle with depression, as well as how I've been growing stronger over time. Although I still have rough nights, it has been over two years since I last cut myself. Over the past few years, I found that my hatred of myself has decreased; I don't call myself "stupid" or "ugly" or "worthless" nearly as much as I used to.

I wanted to get a feather pen dripping ink into a heart-shaped puddle and incorporate my favorite Bible verses: Jeremiah 29:11-14 (which may have literally saved my life) and Psalm 45:1. The feather pen represents my life-long talent and love for writing (and it could be a TWLOHA thing if you wanted to look too deeply into it, but that's not my intention).

For the pen, I wanted to go with a colorful design like a peacock feather. The peacock represents beauty, surviving in hardship (the peacock can eat poisonous snakes and survive), and regeneration (like the phoenix). Plus, I can add in a bit of pink and purple (because I like those colors), and some green and yellow to represent suicide, depression, and bipolar disorder awareness (without the meaning being obvious to anyone).

Then, I wanted to add a string of pearls kind of looping and wrapping around the pen or something (not sure how it will play out). The pearls will be mostly white with a few orange ones. The white will represent the recovery, while the orange will be a subtle symbolism of the SI struggle. I just love how the pearl is made and how it represents beauty-from-pain. And since I was born in June, the pearl is my birthstone.

I want something that will have some symbolism to this struggle, but it will be something that people can look at and if they ask about it, I can tell them "I just love writing and my Birthday is in June." It will have multiple meanings, so it won't just be a SI recovery tattoo, but it'll represent me as a whole.

As far as the colors go, I'll definitely be going with color for everything except the scripture references and ink dripping into a heart. I thought about going with red for the ink/heart, but I think it'll be a bit too much.

The idea of adding "omnia vincit amor" also crossed my mind, but I've only recently fallen in love with the saying, and I think the overall design can stand alone.

So, what do you think? Anybody else have any SI recovery tattoos? I'd love to see pictures.

Sounds like a great idea.

I'm planning to get a special tattoo done next year - not exactly linked to my experiences with SI, but along the same vein in that it's a self-inspiring type of thing.

I want to be a little careful as I don't wish to look at my tattoo and be reminded of self harm, or depression - I want something that makes me feel strong, special and unique.

Tatts are always best when they have strong personal significance. Go for it, it sounds great.

I have an Si recovery tattoo.. I got it with my 18th bday money... It's an Orange ribbon that says strength, hope, survival on it.... I don't have a picture right now... it's somewhere on tattoo and pericings thread... I think it's a great idea to have one because it shows that you have gotten through what has happened

Mine really isn't all about SI/Depression. The overall design is about my writing and the symbolism of strength that comes from pain. The actual SI/Depression symbolism is just in some color choices (green, yellow, and orange). I want to have something specific to the struggle, but I don't want it to be obvious. And who knows? I might not bring in the colors, etc.

Well, I'm not 100% about size or location. I don't want it to be TOO big or TOO small... I want a nice balance in size. I sent a local tattoo shop an email with some questions about getting more information. I want the tattoo to be easily hidden or shown off (keeping in mind that I ALWAYS wear jeans and I don't like showing off my stomach or any of that (I don't wear bikinis lol).

I don't have any tattoos but I just wanted to say that that sounds absolutely beautiful!!
And well done on recovery itself <3

I love the idea of getting a recovery tattoo. If I had one myself I'd have to get one that looks completely unrelated so that if anyone I don't feel comfortable telling asks me about it I can say it I like how it looks or something like that but I want to be able to link it to recovery personally..

Well, mine is really more about writing than SI. I want to get a tattoo that has a lot of meaning... my love of writing, my birthday, favorite verses, etc... and then underneath that in some deeper symbolism there's an underlining meaning about courage, hope, strength, love, faith, etc. Then, with color (possibly) the tattoo will be even more specific in regards to depression/SI... although I probably won't go with the color symbolism.

It sounds lovely, I'd love to see the finished result. I like that your focusing on your positive points, the things you love (writing) and the feather will be amazing. I'm partial to the pheonix feather idea

Where are you thinking of putting it, you want it easily hidden, but easily seen? I might get a VERY small tattoo, but haven't decided where yet lol

Think carefully about location. And speak with your tattoo artist about where they think it might fit best.

I have one on my back (tramp stamp :-)) and whilst I love it, I don't notice it is there most of the time.

For something like yours, if you want to be able to see it yourself then on your leg or ribcage might be good places.

My main goal is to find a location where I can show it off, but it won't be difficult to cover it for work, etc. Something on the ribcage won't be shown off since I NEVER EVER EVER wear anything that will show it... same with the leg. I'm always in long pants.

And I'm not looking at a phoenix feather. I'm looking at a peacock feather. Peacocks and Phoenixes both have some related symbolisms. Although I'm definitely going to have to make sure there's some purple and hot pink in the design.

Look at me planning a tattoo when I can't even afford to go to the grocery store and buy an apple...

I kinda want to get a recovery tattoo also, but you want yours to have other meanings as well, I just want mine to represent my recovery...

I would love to get one that was just centered around recovery, but I'm not sure if or when I'll be comfortable explaining a lot of my struggle.... with emotional/verbal abuse, depression/bipolar disorder, SI, etc. Even though I was able to tell an entire audience about my struggles with SI, I still don't like talking about it with certain people... and only a small few know about the stuff with my parents (it's really hard for me to talk about it). So, I want something that has more meaning than just that struggle.

Maybe it's the fact that I am a writer... specializing in poetry. I like things to have multiple meanings.

Maybe I should get a tattoo of an ogre... because it seems like the tattoo is already going to have multiple layers (like an onion... thank you Shrek).

oooh sounds great. look forward to seeing how it develops.
i have some recovery tattoo's....have kanji symbol for "hope" and a butterly on my wrist so together mean hope for new beginning x

Last Wednesday I'd had a really rough session with my Psychologist & I just felt like it had to get better you know? Cuz it couldn't get any worse. Although I did SI it wasn't too bad & I got a tattoo to mark the thought that it had to get better... I plan on also getting "Dum Spiro, Spero" above it (While I breathe, I hope). That was a week & 1 day ago :)

That sounds amazing :)

That sounds really cool (:
I've always wanted a tattoo but I'm still too young (N) x