Need advice on how to get back on track to being healthy
Today my boss told me I needed to get a belt by tomorrow or else I'll be written up. I just told her sorry and that I know I've lost a lot of weight recently. She said I "look great"; I wanted to punch her in the face. I wanted to scream at her that I'd rather take a million write-ups than go near a clothing store. But I didn't.
I thought I was all better, I thought I didn't have an ED anymore. But after she told me i had to get a belt, i decided to do a little inventory of how much I've been eating lately because there's no reason I should be losing weight. Inventory of the past two weeks was not good. It turns out that I haven't been eating and just didn't notice. The other day I was on a date and had to cut off the conversation we were having about food because it was making me upset.
I don't want to go down this road again. Do you have any advice on how to keep myself in check? I'm going to start using the Recovery Record app again to track myself. I'm getting back on bipolar meds as soon as I can find a doctor. I just started therapy again. Is there anything else I can do? I feel like I should know better, but this damn ED is so sneaky.
It sounds like you're doing all the right things and I really hope that what you are doing will help get you back on track soon.
The only other thing I can think of is letting a close friend/family member know what's going on with you who can then help you have some accountability and support with eating. For example, they might arrange to have some meals with you on a regular basis or be in contact via message to remind you to have your meals. Is there anyone who could do that for you?
I was actually going to suggest an app (even if not RR) lol.
Are you working with a medical doctor or dietician? Is that an option for help with accountability? They can have access to your RR if so, or you could also give your therapist access to view it.
For a while I had to email my therapist meal logs every day. It sucked, but it definitely was accountability.
Things that help me include making meals in bulk and/or buying foods that are easy to eat. So things like nut butter sandwiches, having ingredients for those. Or I make a giant thing of rice and beans all at once, so I can just heat up a bowl and add a protein and have a decent meal ready to go. You can do that with lots of things, though it is also time consuming. Depending on time/cost, you could also buy pre-made meals like frozen meals. I know that gets expensive, but if it's more about making sure you eat, just figuring out what in that respect works the best for you is the way to do it.
I know for me I have routines that involve eating something when I feed my dog, so that helps with accountability since my dog has to eat and I'm the one who feeds her.
I'm unsure if you struggle with anything else besides restriction, but I know for me it's a lot of just figuring out when/how you can eat things and what you can easily eat and less so worrying about if it's normal meals or at the "right" times or the "right" foods. I know everyone's different though so it could just be some trial and error for you.
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