RYL Forums

RYL Forums (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/index.php)
-   Veterans Board (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=34)
-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

frenchhorn 30-04-2010 10:17 PM

Hi A and S, welcome, I'm Oliver.

Night Rosie

*cuddles Crimson* I know what you mean, sometimes you need to cry, but can't and your not even sure why.

*cuddles April* I keep reading your WoW talk and then getting confused and thinking I'm stupid for not understanding and then realising its WoW talk!! silly me

*hugs helen* how are you?

*hugs mark* night, congrats on your mini win.

*hugs laura,hayley, julie, Kahlia, JK and others he may have forgotten-sorry if I have*

I've written a list of everywhere I either need to ring, write to or go to to tell them of name change, its a long one and I know from others that someplaces get really stressy about it, especially when you want to change title and gender as well, but I know my rights so wont take any crap from them.

*ponders what to do for the night*

Doikers 30-04-2010 10:19 PM

Quote:

but I know my rights so wont take any crap from them
Way to go you Oliver!! Good luck with your list * sends out positive thoughts *

PoisonedApple 30-04-2010 10:20 PM

Quote:

I've written a list of everywhere I either need to ring, write to or go to to tell them of name change, its a long one and I know from others that someplaces get really stressy about it, especially when you want to change title and gender as well, but I know my rights so wont take any crap from them.
This is good, you have a list and a plan. And definitely don't take crap from anyone.

frenchhorn 30-04-2010 10:21 PM

thanks Mark and Crimson.

Doikers 30-04-2010 10:26 PM

Night all , sleep well ward mates , or have a great Saturday southern hemisphere friends :)

frenchhorn 30-04-2010 10:27 PM

night Mark, sleep well

MammaMia 30-04-2010 11:03 PM

Can't dtop crying.

Kahlia1981 30-04-2010 11:04 PM

*hugs all - except those that don't want hugs*

Life without a computer is hard. Hopefully my new monitor will arrive on Tuesday. I have to steal time on my housemate's computer when he isn't using it, and we just updated to Kubuntu 10.0.4 yesterday so I'm anxious to do the same to my computer.

I shut down my housemate's computer last night but forgot that I didn't have the password. A real bummer. He's shown me where it is now so if I have another of my sleep-disorder nights I can get onto the computer if necessary.

I feel bleh. Would really like to just curl up in bed and never wake up. So over everything. :(

I'll stop complaining and whining now.

*walks around and finds everyone and hugs everyone that wants a hug*

frenchhorn 30-04-2010 11:11 PM

*comes over to where Helen is and puts arm round her, and offers tissues*
whats up hun?

*hugs Kahlia* thats sucks about your computer situation, hope it gets better soon

my jaw and head hurts, my teacher asked if I had any friends today in our chat, I said I have some outside of uni, and said I have a few in college, but it was a lie, I don't they dont like me, I'm a loner.

PoisonedApple 30-04-2010 11:21 PM

*huggles Oliver, Kahlia and Helen*
Aside from that part of the conversation, how did the meeting go with your teacher Oliver?
Hope your monitor gets to you soon, Kahlia.
What's up, Helen?

Kahlia1981 30-04-2010 11:23 PM

*huggles Helen & offers tissues* Anything we can do to help HelS?

*offers Oliver hugs* I have to echo Crimson ... How did the rest of the conversation go?

Crimson: How are you going?

PoisonedApple 30-04-2010 11:24 PM

I have been decluttering and sent in an email to have Big Brothers Big Sisters come do a pick up of things I'm donating. Now its got me all nervous and anxious. *puts head down on desk* This is stupid. Sorry.

frenchhorn 30-04-2010 11:25 PM

it went ok I guess, she is being really supportive and said she wants to support me through my course and if I need to chat and I can talk to her and she will do what she can for me. I told her some stuff, like about the bullying in the past and verbally abusive father and how my sister no longer admits I exist, she seemed pretty shocked by some of it and tried to give me some ideas of how to move on with stuff, she is great, its just hard to talk about that sort of stuff and then have her as a horn teacher as well when she knows so much about you.
*hugs Crimson*

MammaMia 30-04-2010 11:43 PM

*hugs everyone and accepts tissues*

Tears seem to have stopped. For now. Already want them back even though this hurts so much.

Someone up there doesn't want me talking to my best friends tonight :'(

Scarletdreamer 30-04-2010 11:54 PM

*cuddles Hels and offers her my favorite stuffed toy, an ape that can comfort no matter what* He even smells good. :) His name is Agape and he is very cuddly... What's up, hon? why can't you get in touch with your besties? *more cuddles*

*cuddles Kahlia* Sorry about the comp issues, love. That sucks. :( It's kind of sad though, how dependent we've all become on computers - but in many ways it's good, allows us to get support!! :D and meet new (and awesome) people, like all of you guys. :) How are you feeling?? (sorry if you already answered this) any better?

*cuddles Oliver* I understand the awkwardness of it; my advisor is also my teacher and also my confidante. I go to him when I feel suicidal... I go to him when my ED is really bad... I go to him when I need help getting extensions... etc., etc., etc. And I currently have him for a class - AND he will be my internship advisor. AHHH!!! So yes... I well understand how you feel (about that, anyway). And well done for being an "official Oliver"!! (sorry about not commenting on that earlier) How did you choose the name?

I'm really really tired... but my rogue dinged 20!! That's from 16-20 in two days. Lol. I really need to quit playing so much and do more schoolwork... :-/ Have two papers due next week, really need to finish them up. Also need to make sure that I KNOW my finals schedule. :-X

*hides*

Scarletdreamer 30-04-2010 11:55 PM

*cuddles Crimson* I've heard of BB/BS but never was involved with them in any way... I actually mentioned them in the talk that I did (senior sem presentation) :D hehe. How are you doing now??

Kahlia1981 30-04-2010 11:57 PM

*cuddles everyone*

April: No, sadly feeling no better. Very badly on the SI and SU roundabout ... and wishing I could get off. I forgot to say too .. talking about quit smoking drugs. The one you mentioned is Zyban, which is basically an anti-depressant. The Champix works differently but is extremely dangerous. My computer is my work, my study aid, AND my lifeline. Without my computer I retreat inside myself, and that is really dangerous.

Sorry for the lack of individual replies, I'm trying to quickly get a few things done so my housemate can have his computer back. :'(

frenchhorn 01-05-2010 12:01 AM

April- firstly I remember my mum saying years ago that she wanted me and my sister to have 3 syllable first names, not sure why, but seemed important to her. She told me that if I had been born male I would have been colled Jonathan, but wasnt too keen on that, so went through a load of names and then just came accorss Oliver one day and liked it. Loads of people I have met say it really suits me, including people who knew my birthname as well and people who just know me as Oliver.
*cuddles* good luck with your upcoming work and finals.

MammaMia 01-05-2010 12:01 AM

I am in touch with them. But yeah, said what I did because MSN has been ****ing and lots of stuff. *cuddles April's ape and cries*

PoisonedApple 01-05-2010 12:11 AM

April~ I dunno... I feel off... but my heart isn't racing so much anymore and I don't have that I can't breathe feeling anymore... The small blessings, eh?

Scarletdreamer 01-05-2010 12:58 AM

*cuddles Crimson, Hels, Kahlia, Oliver, & anyone else who wants cuddles!!*

I just got done posting to my LiveJournal... did a change of the layout - am in "spring cleaning mode" - can't wait to get my hair cut!! Which do you think would look better, this one, or this one? I have hair about as long as the longest layers on the first pic... pretty much down to the bottom of my bra... if need be I can post another pic of me (oh HORRORS... I am so ugly :'( ... hopefully you remember what I look like)... I'm not sure if I want to have long layers or short ones, and the short WOULD take out the blondish color that's left from bleaching it in October '09. And short is also better for summer in an apartment with no a/c, and also is easier to manage. But - I really like my long hair. Any opinions?? pleeeeeeeeease? :P Obviously I wouldn't look as glam as either of those two people, never will, am ugly as all get out, but at least maybe I'll FEEL a bit prettier with a different haircut? Right now it's just straight and needs a trim...

*sigh*

I just want to hide forever. :'(

frenchhorn 01-05-2010 01:06 AM

April, your not ugly far from it, I think the short one would suite you well, but go for what you feel comfortable with.

*cries in corner*

Scarletdreamer 01-05-2010 01:13 AM

*cuddles Oliver & hands him a box of tissues and a mug of tension tamer tea* That stuff - the tea - is so comforting... maybe it'll help you a bit if you like tea? It's all herbal... What's wrong, though, love? *more cuddles* Is there anything I can do to help? :(

MammaMia 01-05-2010 01:18 AM

My eyes sting so bad :( *cuddles Oliver & April*

I like short cut. Think it'd suit you April. You're nowhere near ugly :) xx

frenchhorn 01-05-2010 01:19 AM

its stupid, but I looked up my sisters facebook I just looked at her picture, I miss her, she doesnt reply to my texts, she just doesnt even register I exhist anymore.
amd I'm getting fed up of being seen as a freak, aren't I just a human being like everyone else, or maybe I am a freak, maybe I should go and leave the ward everone probably thinks I'm a freak and not a proper boy, cant do this anymore, sorry for moaning I know its pathetic

*leaves the ward*

MammaMia 01-05-2010 01:27 AM

*cuddles Oliver tight*

Scarletdreamer 01-05-2010 01:50 AM

*cuddles Hels* Are you doing okay tonight, sweetie? and please be honest, no "I'm fine" and then vanishing. :) *hands you Skishy-bear and a fleecy blanket to snuggle up in*

*cuddles Oliver* I'm so sorry that your sister isn't responding to your texts etc. now... :( Sending positive thoughts your way... you can do it, you can make it through this. It's her problem. Try not to worry about it too much at this point; I'm sure she'll come 'round in time. The "change" is something that would be difficult to get used to - I know that if my sibling revealed something like that about them I'd have trouble getting used to it - but it in no way makes you a freak. *holds you gently and rocks back and forth* And I'm pretty sure that no one here in the ward thinks that you're a freak, either.

I'm tired... but not sleepy. GRRRR. I also feel like I have something in me that needs to come out, as in emotions/feelings, but I have no idea what it is!! SO FRUSTRATING. :'(

*hides*

MammaMia 01-05-2010 01:52 AM

No. I'm not okay. Far from it :( *cuddles tight*

frenchhorn 01-05-2010 01:56 AM

*comes back in* thanks April, I know its a big thing for her to take in, but I never expected her to just cut me out. *cuddles*

*cuddles Helen* whats up hun?

Scarletdreamer 01-05-2010 01:57 AM

What's up, hon? *holds you too, and gently rubs your back* Want to talk about it?

I spy an Oliver!! *cuddles* :)

MammaMia 01-05-2010 02:14 AM

Seriously low, I don't like it. I should be excited for today. Seeing one of my friends && going to see Dancing on Ice. I've spent so much of tonight crying, made it worse than it already was & ruined everything. Typical. It was already ruined. I want my daughter :'( I want professionals to see that I'm not okay. I want my best friends. It hurts too much. Everything just HURTS!!!

My sister was trying to get me to open up & I tried. But she kept pushing too far. There's stuff she wouldn't have understood unless she read my email or I told her. I couldn't tell her, not the state I was in. I can feel tears brimming up again. Just want to cry, even though this time would be even worse probably. I need to stop whining. There's so much that I want to say but don't know how to. Scared I won't stop....

All I wanted was to have a good night with my best friends & a video call with one. Couldn't even ****ing have that. Well thank you to whoever ****ing decided to make technology stuff up & keep stuffing up :'(

*curls up and cries*

frenchhorn 01-05-2010 02:17 AM

*cuddles Helen tight* sorry its not more.

MammaMia 01-05-2010 02:25 AM

*hugs Oliver back* Thanks sweetheart.

Ugh my laptop is still ****ing up. Will have to fix it when I go to bed or wait til morning.

Kahlia1981 01-05-2010 04:29 AM

*hugs everyone (except those who don't wish to be hugged)*

I wish I could give you all more. I wish I could take away the pain, the heartache, the doom and gloom that settle on all of you. You are all better people than what you are going through tells you. And none of you, no matter what that little voice inside you says, is a freak. You are all individuals, with your own personalities and ways and you all bring something of worth to the world. I know that some of you won't believe this when you read it, but it's the truth. You all deserve the best, and you all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Remember that, and remember one thing more. You are who you were born to be, and everything you have lived through has made you who you are.

*offers everyone hugs*

Kahlia1981 01-05-2010 04:30 AM

Sorry for getting on my soapbox.

*is embarrassed and goes and hides in the garden*

mouse in darkness 01-05-2010 05:55 AM

Sneaks in. I wish and hope the clouds of gey dissipate and go forth to bring the light of a new day for everyone. In essance hope.

Been a while since I was here last... Just wanted to let everyone know that they were all missed.

*shyly hands out cookies and offers hugs*

SoMuchMore 01-05-2010 07:56 AM

*hugs everyone* sorry its not more

welcome back mouse in darkness! *takes a cookie*

I went out. Home now. Not good. Sorry.

xxjuliexx 01-05-2010 08:32 AM

um... hi

xxjuliexx 01-05-2010 08:55 AM

*sits and waits for everyone to wake up*

xxjuliexx 01-05-2010 09:23 AM

*curls up shivering* it's cold

CrazyHayley 01-05-2010 09:34 AM

*huggles Julie to help keep her warm*
It seems its been a busy evening/night again...I'm gonna catch up with everyone....

xxjuliexx 01-05-2010 10:11 AM

-sniffles curls up hugging self-

CrazyHayley 01-05-2010 10:25 AM

So then, all caught up, lets see....

*huggles April* I love the WoW talk and glad that amongst your busy hetic day you manage to fit in playing it. I don't think you're on it too much, like Mark says, its a really good distraction for us. As for the hair cuts, from the shape of your face (which is a pretty one, not ugly!) you would actually suit both. I like the longer style, but thats me and close to what I've had in the past and what I'm currently growing my fringe out for, so I'm biased, lol. But for the reasons you stated, perhaps you'd be better going for the shorter do?

*huggles Mark* so sorry to hear that you've been so anxious and paranoid. WoW will definately be a good distraction for you. Ooh if you start, chose 'Darkspear' as your realm...PLEASE....as then we can meet up and play together!

*Huggles Oliver* congrats on legally becoming Oliver! And as for being a loner, don't dwell on it. You are still young and you're only just being able to be your true self around people, it'll take time to get friends IRL. Until that time, you are not alone when you have all of us in here. I used to have a lot of 'friends' IRL, but when I got ill, they all disappeared. Now aged nearly 29, I have 3people who I can call real friends IRL, the longest history out of them is just over 6years. Sometimes I feel alone and a loner, but then I come on here and think well at least I can be accepted and be myself in here and sod the people IRL who can't cope, one day I'll meet up with people IRL who are like people on RYL who don't judge. Please don't give up hope.

*huggles Helen* Oh its horrid you had so mnay tears last night. I hope that today goes ok for you and you manage to enjoy dancing on ice.

*huggles JK* are you feeling overwhelmed by the pace of the ward? Or what's going on IRL? or a bit of both? We're here if you need us. Please don't go anywhere, we'd miss you!

*huggles Crimson* are you feeling any better today? Still needing to cry? I hate that when the tears won't come out, it gives me a headache, don't know about you... I think it'd be good for you to get back onto WoW too, you have so much overwhelming stuff going on around you that I think it'd do you good to just loose yourself for an hour in the game...when you get a spare hour!

*huggles Laura* How did the appartment crawling go? Hope the thunderstorms held off.

*huggles Julie* ooh a 7am start, at least its in a coffee shop though, expresso shots on tap to perk you up! lol

*huggles Kat & Rosie* I hope you're keeping as safe as possible. We're here if you need to talk.

*huggles Kahlia* oh thats crummy about when you shut down the computer, I'm glad you've a housemate who is willing to share though and you can get some time to do work and come on here as an outlet.

*huggles MouseInDarkness and A&S* welcome to the ward, I'm hayley.

*goes looking in all the hiding places and dark corners of the ward to give out extra huggles incase she's missed someone*

Well I'm irrational....not completely, 'cos I'm aware that I'm thinking stupidly...but I'm on the slippery slope. It's the 1st of May...my 29th bday in 26days....what have I achieved with my life? **** all....even when my mental health is under control I'm a ****ing waste of space useless peice of **** whose body doesn't work properly and has a career as an envelope licker ahead of her....only you don't need to lick envelopes anymore as they have those sticky things, so I've been made redundant!!! So yeah, I'm a ****ing survivor, but what have I survived for?!!! RAAAA!!!!

And then I think, why am I thinking like that?! I try and be positive and support you guys, I believe the words when I'm typing them to you and yet can't find the words myself....and so I want to cry.....and then I think....pathetic cry baby, how are tears going to change anything...get a grip!!! RAAAA!!!

jonikd 01-05-2010 10:56 AM

*picks Hayley up and gives her a big cuddle, then pops her down gently* Sweetheart, you are an amazing person who takes the time to make each and every one of us on here feel special. Noone in my real life has asked how I am today, and the fact that you even remembered about me in here has made my day. Potentially sad, but true. If we could all listen to the advice we give others none of us would be in the ward. *hugs again, less dramatically this time* If you ever want to chat or vent hun you're welcome to PM me, cos I real like you.

Gorgeous April, I would vote go for the short haircut, only cos I recently did a bit of a makeover thing and they drastically changed my hair and it made me feel really different and everyone commented how awesome it looked.

Mark its funny how a few days of no SI creeps up on you, I'm up to 2 weeks now somehow, trying not to think about it too much. Hope your sleep was a good one and you have a great day today!

Helen, sweetie, I really hope you're doing a bit better. I have been trying to get on to msn to "talk" to one of my new buddies here on RYL who is struggling at the moment, but I can't do it and it is so frustrating cos I really want to touch base with her more easily than phoning and stuff, hang in there babe, you are a beautiful person and an AWESOME hugger x

Kahlia, the piece you wrote a few pages back was very powerful and passionate and I have printed it and will read it often. We all need to believe it. Thank you. *hugs*

*cuddles Julie* hope your day at work was OK, busy cafe day in Auckland today!

*hugs Laura* I kind of missed the news of your job, but sounds like congratulations are in order. How are you now hun, you didn't sound so good earlier after you got home from your night out.

*cuddles Crimson tight* hope you're doing ok sweet girl.

Oliver, hang in there with your sister hun. She'll come round, just keep being there for her. She loves you and she will find a way to accept you just the way you are ok? *hugs tight*

*waves to AS and Kat/Rosie and MouseInDarkness and wonders where Nicole and Lindsay have scurried off to*

And I'm OK thanks for those of you who asked, just struggling with getting the dose right with my meds and a bit all over the place. In our last session my therapist said "do you understand how sick you are?" I actually thought I was doing OK, I work fulltime, and exercise and have lots of friends, it made me question what my reality is tbh. Then an old friend died suddenly a few days ago and I haven't even cried. I hate that I can't feel anything. *cries if she could*

mouse in darkness 01-05-2010 11:01 AM

Haya Hayley and Fallinstar0317 *Hugs*

Wish I was better so I could offer help or at least something nice. I do wish everyone well and hope you all had a great day and that tomorrow is better than today.

Crawls under the bed and shakes.

xxjuliexx 01-05-2010 11:01 AM

*puts the 2nd scooby doo movie on for owen and settles into a hamok*

xxjuliexx 01-05-2010 11:02 AM

i feel selfish coz i dont do indervidal replys sorry...

jonikd 01-05-2010 11:06 AM

lol Julie, its only cos I had an hour to fill in, and I don't have msn ;)

Scooby's my favourite too just quietly

xxjuliexx 01-05-2010 11:09 AM

get msn lol or yahoo lol i want to talk to people in my time zone more no offence to the northeners lol

jonikd 01-05-2010 11:12 AM

I trying to, just failing dismally at the moment. Not the most IT savvy person I know!


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:16 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.