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-   -   Something I don't usually do.. (http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=215676)

FilipinoPanda 15-11-2013 12:02 AM

Something I don't usually do..
I'm not sure if this is upsetting or not..
but it may...
I'm going to be sharing my poems..
I am very self conscious and don't think they are any good.
Because this isn't something I usually do

But I just want to share them..
They are also in my ranting venting thread because they do describe how I feel sometimes..
Say what you need freely about what you think of them.

FilipinoPanda 15-11-2013 12:03 AM

I take out my paper and pen
and write how things are getting worse again.
As a person from the outside you think things are fine
But you need to look in more and try and see past the lines.
I am hurting and there's nothing you can do.
And you won't ever guess who
the person that is causing all this pain.
The reason I can't achieve any gain
Yes I am partially to put at blame
But I am not going to accept all the shame.
I am not going to let you get away with it this time
Because we both committed the "crime"

(this one is unfinished as of right now.. not satisfied with the ending..)

FilipinoPanda 15-11-2013 12:03 AM

There is a guy that is mine
But things are not so fine
We don't talk a lot anymore
And sadly our relationship is kind of a bore
I feel like that maybe the problem is me
The problem of wanting to be free
Is it wrong to want something new?
I don't have a clue.
Maybe I am just a selfish person.
But honestly it feels our relationship is only going to worsen.
I think that it may be time for it to end
Because there is no reason to pretend.
I am sorry to the one I use to love
But you need to find someone who wont love you just kind of.
Here are my final goodbyes my dear
And please, try not to tear.

FilipinoPanda 15-11-2013 12:03 AM

What am I trying to do here
When will my mind and thoughts be clear
It all seems too overwhelming
Everything seems to be breaking
I want to shut down and be gone
never seeing the next day or dawn
I can't do all this anymore
It feels like I am at a war,
With myself and cant be at peace
I feel like I need a release
But the one I want I can't do.
And it kind of makes me blue
I've come a long way from that life
And there's no reason to cause strife.
Somebody come and grab my hand
Because I'm done hanging by the last strand.

FilipinoPanda 15-11-2013 12:04 AM

I don't understand it.
I feel like throwing a fit.
Why does this matter?
My mind feels like its in a scatter.
We aren't best friends anymore.
But why does my heart feel so sore.
I want to spend time with you
but I know you have other things to do.
I just want some of your time..
is that such a crime?
What do I truly mean to you?
Am I merely someone that means so few..
I want this ache to stop
Before my mind feels like its going to pop
I just want things to be how they were like before..
But I know better than to want that anymore..
So I better just forget whats in my mind
And just quit looking to things of behind

FilipinoPanda 15-11-2013 12:54 AM

Why do you treat me like that?
You make me feel like a door mat,
something that you can walk all over without a care.
I don't think you realize how its so unfair.
Even your words are like a pierce in my side
They make me feel like I need to hide
I can't tell you what this does to me
Because I know that you will disagree
And if not that then you will just treat it with disregard
Leaving me just a little bit scarred
Not on the outside will you see it
since it's something I don't permit.
So what do I to help myself cope?
Well I try to look for the hope.
The hope that I have in that person.
That things will not worsen.
Only time will tell..
If everything is going to be well.

ADownie25 24-11-2013 09:13 PM

Your poems are really good! i can feel the emotion in every word. Your a strong person to get through the heartache that i can feel for your poems. Never give up. You are an amazing person and have such a gift for poetry. Well Done!

FilipinoPanda 28-11-2013 05:11 AM

thank you so much!
I really appreciate it

FilipinoPanda 08-12-2013 03:45 AM

Being bitter is what I feel since I canít cry.
Itís like my tears disappeared and said bye.
It also feels like something inside me died.

Itís because that boy thinks he tried.
But honestly, he was weak and didnít use his voice.
Whatís done has been done and it was his choice.
Yes, I may have been at wrong.
But why did he have to wait so long
To tell me what I did had hurt him?
Because all he did was keep me in the dim.
Now I all I can do is just sit here in my regret.
Kind of wishing we had never met.
I need someone who will step up to the plate
And when I do wrong they will set me straight.

FilipinoPanda 10-12-2013 01:30 PM

The pain that I feel consumes me.
I might as well float to the bottom of the sea.
No one around me seems to truly care.
They will ask me if I’m okay but they aren’t aware,
Of the pain that I’m daily going through.
I truly wish this situation wasn’t true.
But what can I do since it doesn’t matter,
My heart is already about to shatter.
I might as well become numb to the pain,
So I can continue acting like I’m sane.

FilipinoPanda 27-11-2014 05:17 AM

My poems are kind of spastic with my thoughts and feelings so it may not flow very well. >.<

feel free to comment and criticize however. Thanks!

These inner feelings of pain are consuming,
I don’t think I’ll ever get over this glooming.
I try to overlook it and to just be cheery,
But I can’t get past feeling so weary.

Will my days ever be bright again?
If so, can you tell me when?
I’m sick and tired of all this regret,
Someone please just help me to forget.
I want this suffering to be gone,
So my life can simply go on.

It’s about time I be done,
And stop letting these memories play on rerun.
So here’s my goodbye to you
Because my heart is tired of being cut through.

finding-my-haven 03-12-2014 12:16 AM

For your most recent poem, I absolutely loved the last stanza. But I have a suggestion for your second line if that's okay?
I'm not sure that glooming is the best fit. Maybe something like "I don't think I'll get past the hurt that is looming."?

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