*creeps in while it's dark and hides under the covers*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Mousie*

*hugs everybody in the thread and tries to stay calm* didnt have the rules at mind when i wrote that edited by one step closer. sry..

*hugs all*

I'm being discharged tomorrow

*hugs all*
sorry I haven't been around in the last 9 weeks or so.
I've been at the psych ward where I don't have internet and I was too lazy to catch up on the weekends.
How is everybody?

*hugs Oliver* I'm jealous. They say that I'm not stable enough and I've been at hosp for the last 9 weeks.

*Hugs Laura Hugely*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Monk*

*hugs Mark* (that's your name, right? I haven't been here for such a long time... I'm not sure anymore lol)

*hugs Laura and Mark*

hugs everyone

*hugs all*
I have to go back to hosp now. Maybe I'll get to go home over the weekend.

hugs laura - take care x

hi hows everyone doing ?

am doing ok at the moment

*Hug Louise*

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Waves to Angel*

How is everyone today?

*hugs to all*

*leaves some treats on the table*

*hides in the corner*

hugs everyone

*sneaks in*
*hugs everyone*
Sorry I haven't been in. Things have just been all over the place.
How is everyone? Well I hope.

Hugs y'all

Waving hello.

doing ok today. yesterday not such a good day.

answering someone's earlier question. a stuffie is a stuffed animal like a teddy bear. i've heard them called plushies but my name for 'em is stuffie.

*Waves to CelticWings*

how is everyone

*curls up* it's too hard to pretend today. i can't do it anymore.

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Crimson* Whats up hun?

*hugs mark back* everything. friend fighting cancer, friend going in for surgery, trouble with my apps to the uni, only 1 job i applied for has gotten back to me... they want to hire me but the hours aren't guaranteed to be stable or full time and i lose benefits on top of it, my family can't just make do if my hours were to drop..., my current boss seems to want me to quit (a lot going on but it seems very similar to when she forced out a coworker about a year ago...) and the most recent thing with my boss? yeah she apparently thinks i do literally nothing but dick off on the net all day so she says i need to do a log of what i do all day every day while i'm at work but "you know just in half hour increments or so"... i want to get a new job and stay in my new house but between the frigid winters up here and all the crap being piled on me i am really tempted to go with what my friend g wants and move to seattle. i found the most awesome 4 bedroom apartment down there (the community has 3 pools a playground a gym and a picnic area on top of the lg 4 bdrm apartment with its own washer and drier) for less than $1400 a month. the only bill i'd have other than rent and transportation? electric. i must admit the more bs i deal with and the more stressed the **** out i get the more i feel moving down there to be the best option. even d thinks me quitting is for the best. if we could afford it i'd quit now but we can't afford it til feb or march. and to top it all there's homeschool for the kids and my own upcoming classes and all of the other smaller more trivial stuff that's just getting stacked on top of everything else. and food is another category to toss on the pile... i've been so irritated upset and stressed lately i can hardly even eat.

i keep trying to distract myself lately with nano but more often than not (especially today) i just come up with nothing.

and the more people ask how i am and whats wrong or commenting on how i look upset today, it just makes e closer to tears. but then on the other hand even when i say why not and let it go i can't cry more than a tear or 2 anyway.

*Huge Hugs Crimson*

*shuffles in and sets up camp until next tuesday*

I really think there should be more psychology people out there. I can't get in more than 1x every two weeks. THis is very frustrating. I need to see him now.

*Hugs Mousie*

*hugs all* how are you?

I'm at my Parents *Hugs*
How are you Laura?

*hugs mark*
I had to take half of my emergency med earlier. Should have taken it all... my hands are still shaking but it's bearable. I'm going to do more skills now.
How are you?

*Hugs Laura*

Hey everyone.

*Squishesb Lindsay* How are you hun?

Alright I think. A bit lonely. How are you?

*hugs all*

*Hugs Lindsay and Oliver*

*hugs Lindsay and Oliver and Doikers (I always forget your name :()*

I hate getting the feeling of being overrun emotionally, but its happening a lot these days and I can't stop it. trying not to give in either, but it's so hard not to right now...

*Hugs Matt* I'm Mark :) But no worries :) 31 today I be :P

Happy birthday, Mark!

Thanks Lindsay *Huggles*

I know I've already text it Mark, but happy birthday :)
*Curls up in the denial tent*

Happy birthday mark! I hope its great and awesomes! :)

*puts a large bday cake on the table*

*Hugs Charlie* Thank you hun , You okay?

*Hugs Matt* ooooooooooOOOOOOOO A Cake!

Yesh! Its a giant cake of whatever you want on it or in it and its guaranteed to be very tasteh and delicious! :)

i think im hearing voices and stuff. its like i need to do things in the right order for me to not hear them. but what if they get enough of me and really start getting at me like they want to hurt me and stuff. im not saying i havent heard voices before like in my mind like real tlaking and stuff. but i dont want this to start again ill just end up beeing thrown across the country to different psychiatric institutions and all that. i just dont want there to be a silent moment where my mind is not following up what is going on around me and by that causing a meltdown somehow like it did last time where i had to go to the emergency and get stitches. im so alone and so friend less. i cant help myself. i dont talk to ppl often and when i do get to be with them there isnt much to say. and the psychiatrist at the ward near here said she wanted to talk to me but i havent heard from her in a long time. getting more disconnected with ppl. its like a dark veil surrounding my mind and is gonna attack me with voices and then they want me to turn mental on myself and start attacking myself. if only i had someone to dream with. *goes in the corner with a big cardboard box and sets it up so no one can see* *starts to whimper*

*Hugs Monk*

*Hugs Matt*

hugs everyone

Hi everyone im back :) i havent been in here for a while.

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Matt*

*Hugs Charlie*

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Ian*