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-   -   I can't stop (http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=212174)

.x.Kaz.x. 10-08-2013 09:11 AM

I can't stop
 
I can't stop. My hand is swollen & purple. It's not good enough. It needs to break. I can't stop. I won't stop until it breaks. I need to do this. I need an excuse. How do I tell them? How do I explain the bruises? Oh but i can't stop. Anything in sight I can use right now. It needs to break. I need to hear it crack. It's halfway there. Fuck.. I won't stop... I can't...

Paw Print 10-08-2013 10:37 AM

Take a breath. Do you have anyone to call right now? Do you know what triggered you?

Can you do anything else that will distract or keep you busy?

FranticMind 10-08-2013 07:49 PM

Im sorry you are struggling so much right now.

Breaking your hand will only make things a hell of a lot worse for you. it is dangerous aswell. why do you feel the need to break your hand? if somethign is triggering you ten its best to try and distract yourself from these thoughts, or even relax yourself by taking a hot bath etc.

I hope you get the help that you need x

.x.Kaz.x. 10-08-2013 10:10 PM

I don't know what triggered me :/ it's my way of self harming right now. I know I'm going to regret this in a few days time. I just couldn't stop :( thanks for the replies. I am now safe for weekend. Just don't know what will happen next...

FranticMind 10-08-2013 11:23 PM

its good that your safe for the weekend. do you have a MH professional who you could talk to in real life?

.x.Kaz.x. 11-08-2013 08:41 AM

No I was discharged from all services (adolescent at the time) 4 years ago.. And told i was fine & just going through a phase haha. We don't have much support in the area. If I build up enough courage today I may get my hand looked at.. Just need to think of some excuses now :(

yoyogirl 11-08-2013 10:19 AM

Maybe you need to get an urgent referral back to mental health team

Cacoethes 13-08-2013 07:41 PM

hey lovely. how are you feeling today?

I can relate to self harm 'not being enough'. but will it ever be enough? I have broken bones before and I still thought that it should have been worse. With slef harm, it's never good enough. It's an unachievable goal, it will always have to be 'worse' no matter what you do.

Could you go to your doctor and tell them how you are feeling?


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