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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

risenfromperdition 14-12-2010 05:34 AM

Crying is ok sweetie <3

PsychoKitty2010 14-12-2010 05:49 AM

I know it's ok...but I physically can't cry. There is only one way to get my emotions out... -squeezes the teddy harder and rocks even faster-

risenfromperdition 14-12-2010 06:01 AM

*offers hug* try not to hun <3 and figured would emphasize it, cuz i know i slways feel like crying isnt kay and stuff so *shrug*

Sorry am useless atm. Sleep maybe.. Night xox

PsychoKitty2010 14-12-2010 06:07 AM

-hugs back- It's ok, I understand. Thanks for sitting with me. I can't sleep. -shrugs- If you are going to sleep, sleep well. xx

risenfromperdition 14-12-2010 06:12 AM

Night <3 hope you can sleep soon =[

PsychoKitty2010 14-12-2010 06:15 AM

Me too. Doubt it, but I can always hope. <3

PsychoKitty2010 14-12-2010 06:26 AM

Horrible flashbacks...he's coming... -throws a blanket over herself to hide and squeezes the teddy as hard as she can-

misskitty112 14-12-2010 08:10 AM

*hugs Kitty*

PsychoKitty2010 14-12-2010 08:41 AM

-hugs felicia back- thanks. how are you?

xxjuliexx 14-12-2010 09:13 AM

*sits banging the back of head against all hugging knees*

PsychoKitty2010 14-12-2010 09:22 AM

-scoots closer to Julie and offers one of her many pillows and fuzzy blankies- you okies?

MammaMia 14-12-2010 10:01 AM

*offers hugs to all*

I feel so ****ing sick :'( Supposed to be leaving soon to go college for our trip lol.

xxjuliexx 14-12-2010 10:15 AM

*points at self and keeps banging head *i amy i upset...

Doikers 14-12-2010 11:06 AM

*Hugs Laura* 7 weeks !! Way to go you :-)

*Hugs Helen* Yey for beating your cold and I hope your anemia is just having a blip.

*Hugs Kitty*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Amy* What are you upset about Amy?

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs The rest of my Wardies* , I hope I didn't miss anyone , it was busy in here last night :P

Doikers 14-12-2010 11:57 AM

Ack!! Accupuncture has been called off today , Amy who was going to do it has gotten sick:( It helps me sleep and relaxes me generally . Nevermind , at least they called me and let me know in time . I go pretty much every week it's on so they knew to call me.
*Sits in insence smell and listens to music*

xxjuliexx 14-12-2010 12:06 PM

*nods* nice they called.
cant sleep.. i tired cant sleep..

Doikers 14-12-2010 12:14 PM

Who called who nice Amy? I'm sorry you can't sleep:S

xxjuliexx 14-12-2010 12:20 PM

nice ur Accupuncture people called *sits on the floor near mark looking up at him*

Doikers 14-12-2010 12:27 PM

Yeah , I would not have been happy If I had gotten across town only to be turned away .
*Looks at Amy* Why can't you sleep Amy?

xxjuliexx 14-12-2010 12:29 PM

yucky feelings... *hugs knees* yucky feelings about yucky stuff

Doikers 14-12-2010 12:31 PM

Oh I'm sorry Amy *Hugs if okay*

xxjuliexx 14-12-2010 12:40 PM

good night ward

Doikers 14-12-2010 12:45 PM

Night Night Julie:)

Doikers 14-12-2010 12:45 PM

*Spots and Squishes Kahlia* Hoooow are you Lil Sis?

Kahlia1981 14-12-2010 12:56 PM

Hello all .....

Sorry I have been away so long. I hope that no-one has forgotten me.
I had a fight with my housemate a week or so before my exam for my last study period - around about the last week of November. He was bitching that I was spending too much time on self-help forums and not enough time studying or doing things around the house. The upshot was that I haven't been on any forums basically since.

The funniest - or perhaps most ironic - part was that he would never interrupt me when I was quickly updating something on a forum, only when I was deep in study...

But I will try to drop in when I can. I'm in the middle of my second study period and I'm doing two subjects this time. I don't get my results for the last one until the 7th of January and am already sick of waiting.

Also, I'm not doing 100% right now which isn't helping things either. I'm having trouble with my medications which means that my illness isn't fully under control and certain things are really bad. I keep bursting into tears at the drop of a hat, and am really struggling when it comes to leaving the house. I have dangerous suicidal thoughts and have a suicide plan which I can put into plan far too easily - even I'm not comfortable with it in my more logical moments. I've also considered just walking off and leaving everything behind me during this last week because things have been getting on top of me ....

But, I'm still here, and I have missed you all terribly.

*huggles all who can accept hugs & waves at everyone else*

Kahlia1981 14-12-2010 12:56 PM

*cuddles her big bro* Not brilliant, but I'm still getting through. :-)

Doikers 14-12-2010 01:03 PM

*Hugs Kahlia* I'm sorry you're struggling hun , About your suicide plan, are there things in your house that you could bin , flush away, give to your housemate? If so please get shot of them okay , I'm concerned for you:S
I'm sorry you guys had that argument , Have you tried explaining how important online forums are for your health?
*Squishes*
Good Luck with all your studies :)

youngatheart 14-12-2010 01:07 PM

Afternoon to you all, how are you? x

Kahlia1981 14-12-2010 01:16 PM

Mark: There's something in the flat that I'm not game to give to my housemate because he said when I gave one set of them to him before that if he ever found me with them again he would send me to the hospital. I'm nervous about putting them into our garbage bin upstairs in case he sees it, because if he recognises the shape or sees the label I'm not sure what he will do. I haven't been able to take them down to the big bin downstairs as I haven't been able to get them downstairs without running the risk of him seeing them. As for the forums, he knows the online forums are important - as a matter of fact, RYL and my other forums form part of my crisis plan but he thinks I'm just "playing" or something at times .... I really don't know

Doikers 14-12-2010 01:23 PM

Kahlia *Hugs* , I'm sorry you have such difficulty in getting rid of that stuff , Could you wrap them up in toilet roll and flush them?
It sounds like you really should set him straight , that you are of course NOT playing and this is literally deadly serious for you . I know thats much much easier said than done though , sorry :S

*Hugs Sam* I'm feeling okay thanks, a bit "meh" though , I just have no motivation or concentration still , sick of this :( How are you?

MammaMia 14-12-2010 04:15 PM

Kahlia *bug squishy hugs* Sorry about the argument & such :(

*hugs Mark and everyone else*

misskitty112 14-12-2010 05:04 PM

I gave my tools to my roommate and she threw them away last night.
That's how bad things were.
Now, I just feel kinda lost. I want to buy more, but I want to be safe for the rest of this week.

Doikers 14-12-2010 05:30 PM

*Hugs Helen* How was your day?

*Hugs Felicia* Thats a huge step to take Felicia hun although I'm sorry things got so bad that you felt the need to do that doing it shows a LOT of strength :)

Doikers 14-12-2010 05:53 PM

*Spots and Huggles Crimson*

one_step_closer 14-12-2010 06:34 PM

You can get through this, Felicia. We are all here for you.

SoMuchMore 14-12-2010 06:34 PM

*hugs heather* wow i can't believe that your dad says those things... that is ridiculous. I'm sorry. good luck with your finals.

*hugs kitty* I'm sorry you had flashbacks last night. How r u feeling today? I hope a little better.

*hugs amy* you can always talk to us here if you are upset.

*hugs julie* i hope you slept well.

*hugs mark* i'm sorry that it was canceled. Good of them to call though, it seems like your appointments get messed with a lot so at least they gave a heads up this time :-/

*hugs helen* i'm glad that your cold is better but sorry that you are feeling bad today. What is the trip you are taking with college? I hope you can have a decent time despite feeling ill.

*cuddles kahlia* I've missed you! Glad to see you back around. Sorry about the argument with your housemate.

*hugs felicia* i'm glad you gave the tools away. That is huge!! You can make it through this hun. Try not to buy anymore if you can.

*hugs lindsay* how r u doing?

I can't wait until this week is over. Finals will be done, no work for 3 weeks, just generally less stressed... i hope. Until I go back to my hometown anyway. And yea 7 weeks is kind of long for me. I just wish it wasn't the first thing i thought of when I wake up in the morning :-/

Doikers 14-12-2010 06:35 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* How are you Lindsay?

*Spots and Hugs Laura* How are you too? Oops we typed together:) I hope you have a good time once this week is over and before then GOOD LUCK with your finals :)

one_step_closer 14-12-2010 06:47 PM

Good luck Laura.

I'm ok. I saw my psychiatrist today and he made me feel a little more hopeful than I usually do.

Doikers 14-12-2010 06:51 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* Yey for feeling Hopeful !!:)

nicole94 14-12-2010 07:29 PM

*hugs everyone*
I'm so confused.

Doikers 14-12-2010 07:44 PM

Whats confusing you Nicole ? *Hugs ya*

nicole94 14-12-2010 07:48 PM

*hugs mark*
Everything. I thought i knew everything, I thought i understood all this. Turns out I was wrong. This is all so stupid.

Doikers 14-12-2010 07:57 PM

Whats changed Nicole Hun? *Hugs*

nicole94 14-12-2010 08:04 PM

*hugs* I had an individual session with julie today, and for the first time. We talked about the reasons behind my self harm. I thought i knew all this, I though i understood my cutting and what caused it. But it turns out little things that i thought were just part of everything, had a big effect on it all. Now my mind can't stop going through all the ba stuff, and I don't know whats real and whats not! :(

Doikers 14-12-2010 08:09 PM

Oh Nicole that sounds just frustrating and I don't blame you for being so confused , could you , when you next speak with Julie (Therapist?) ask her about your concerns and try and straighten things out in your head?

nicole94 14-12-2010 08:13 PM

Maybe, i can't next time as we are meeting in a coffee shop for our last session before christmas, but maybe the next one after that.

Doikers 14-12-2010 08:22 PM

It'll be nice to meet up in a coffee shop though, My Befriender Becky takes us out to the same cafe most weeks which is cool , but we can talk in her office if I have something serious to say as coffee shops can be quite loud and you have too speak UP lol *Hugs Nicole*

PsychoKitty2010 14-12-2010 08:43 PM

I'm sorry...confused...thought she was Julie.....

I'm never sleeping again. -shakes head violently- No. More.

-runs around throwing objects at the walls, including herself-

Doikers 14-12-2010 08:45 PM

*Hugs Kitty* Whats happened Kitty? Are you okay?

PsychoKitty2010 14-12-2010 08:52 PM

-screams- NO!

-places her hands on the wall and slams her head into it over and over and over again and mutters-

Cant do anything right. Nightmares. Bad. Me. Bad. No sleep. No more.

-stops for a moment and looks at mark with a blank stare-

I just wanted to help. I just cant do anything right. -shakes head, and goes back to banging it against the wall-


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