Kahlia: Ugh, it's a bitch, isn't it? And thanks *hugs back* and I hope things start getting better for you soon, as well x_o

*hugs everyone* sorry, RYL's been blocked for me pretty much ever since new year's so haven't been around.

Haven't really got time to reply to everyone individually, I'll get a chance once everyone's in bed. So... can I be selfish?

Just... I scared myself with my cutting earlier. I was so calm. Normally I can't control how deep but today... I controlled every last moment of that ****. I just... I can't deal with my family right now. And then my boyfriend started talking about professional help, and I couldn't deal with that either. Help for him that is...

Went to the pub... had a fairly good time there. Get home. ****ing mood goes straight downhill again. almost wish boyfriend was online, or would phone, but he's only ever online when I ask him, and his mobile's on charge, and I seriously can't phone his house phone. Even the thought has me on the verge of a panic attack. *sigh* I just... dunno what to do with myself right now.

Auburn, that sounds horrible, I'm sorry things are bad for you atm D: *hugs*

And as for the whole being 'selfish' thing, I wouldn't worry about it. I think we all do it every now and then (and really, it's not selfish of you at all)

Hana: I second what Dayna said; first of it's not selfish of you and I'm sorry that things aren't going well. Are you with your family right now because of the holidays or do you live at home? Just curious if you'll be able to get a break from it soon.

Kahlia: Thanks for the hugs. Sorry that you're on somewhat of an emotional roller coaster right now... hope things become somewhat clearer to you soon.

Dayna: Thanks for the hugs and encouragement. I went to work today to get some things done so tomorrow feels less stressful so that helped.. still nervous, but I guess on the positive side, this time tomorrow the day will be over. How long before you have to move out? I hope once that's all done and over with things will be better for you.. i can see how that would weigh on your mind even when you don't necessarily think it is.

*leaves hugs*

Hope everyone else is ok.

Ravyn: Ah good, I'm glad it went well, and that tomorrow'll be better ^__^. As for our move, um, I'm not sure. At all. Like, my housemate and me went to court last month and the judge gave us three weeks to find somewhere else to go, and well...it's been well over three weeks and we're still here. So our bastard landlord now has to get a warrant to get us out =B. The only thing that bothers me is the fact that we've only been offered one place to look at, and we can't afford it. And even then, that was only after the intial three weeks elapsed ._.;;

That sucks Dayna! Hopefully it takes a while for the landlord to get a warrant -- at least long enough for you to find a new place to live. Is it hard to find places to rent there?

*runs in*
*serves hot chocolate with mini marshmallows for everyone*
*skips out*
=]

sweet thanks Lucy!! mmm... I love hot chocolate!

How are you doing?

XD Hi and bye, Lucy

Ravyn: Yeah, I'm hoping it's gonna take him a while, too .__.;; I don't think actually renting is all that bad, it's just finding a place we can afford

Lmao, that should earn you some sympathy, Kat xD

*pokes*

>__< *Hugs* Your friends giving you a few problems?

And go on, how far into WoW are you?

Gah... *sighs* Why bother =(

D: *Hugs Katie muchly* What's the matter?

x___o *Hugs Kat too*

*sits in corner rocking*

*offers hugs and hot chocolate to everyone*

*Sneaks over and gives Emma lots of safe hugs*

*Repeatedly slams head against the ****ing wall*

*Sneaks out of denial tent and gives big safe hugs to those who need them*

Whats wrong Dayna?

*Hugs Emma* Are you ok?

You are welcome Ravyn. Hope you are doing well.

Well out of sheer bordom (and lack of sleep) I went on a web search to figure out what my wacky dream means and I understand it less now than I did befor. Stiill having difficulty sleeping. And the SI are getting increasingly worse, so I guess this episode is going to put me in the psyc ward in real life very soon... very scary... I think at this point in time am willing to give and recieve lots of hugs. Feeling very blue and hate myself as I upset my best friend yesterday. I just want her to know Im really sorry and hopes she forgives me and don't quite know how to tell her.

Sorry for the rant am being selfish. :-(

*Hugs and to all. Crawl back int denial tent will a bear*

I just don't know any more if my worries are in my head, or real .__.;;. I am so ****ing sick of thinking one day that everything's fine, and then the next, wondering if I'm viewed of as crap

*cuddles Dayna* I understand where you are coming from my friend.

*leaves hugs for all*

*Hugs Kahlia back*

Finally talking things over with the person involved. Eurgh. I hate these serious talks, but at the same time, I'm glad it's actually happening now

I can't cope with this.

I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this

Dayna, totally understood. I hope that things go well. *fingers crossed for you*

*hugs you*

We "replied" at the same time then ....

Dayna, please hold strong, draw on that strength from within. I believe in you, you can get through this.

*offers hugs*

Thanks .__. *hugs back*.

And I'm trying, I really am. I'm just...really hurting right now

It is ok Dayna you can get through this at times it seems impossible but you are strong and I believe you can do it. I have the same problems at time too, so you are not alone. *Safe hugs and a teddy bear (for you to hug)*

Thanks Nicole *hugs back*

I know that you are hurting Dayna. If I could I would take that internal pain and mental anguish away. I regret that all I can offer is a listening and understanding ear. I'm afraid that I'm not good at offerring support but darl, I care and will be here for you in any way that I can. *cuddles you tight*

You are not crap. The person I have met on this site apears to me as a true honest person who doesn't back down when things get tough. You are strong and supportive when others need help and support.:Halo: You are an angel at heart. *Hugs*

Thanks you guys, I really appreciate all this *hugs you both back tightly*

The conversation's moved on a bit now...I think I feel a little better, but I'm still far from great

Perhaps it's time to find any positives that you can in the situation ... any good feelings et cetera. Always here for you Dayna.

He does still love me. But he's got a lot of stress on, he's confused, he's worried..

...But he said he still loves me. Even if he's got to sort through his head at some point ._.

Dayna, I'm glad. Hang in there ...

I am. My mood is yo-yoing fairly badly at the moment, but I'm safe

Sorry Dayna if I could offer advice on that I woul but I have really bad luck when it comes to love sorry. *Safe and suportive hugs*.

Sorry Dayna if I could offer advice on that I woul but I have really bad luck when it comes to love sorry. *Safe and suportive hugs*. My internet is driving

It seems I do too! I really thought things would work out with him, but I guess I can't truly stop worrying until he's had time to sort his mind out

Can I just say ... Ahhh, men! *throws hands up in the air*

Lmao. I agree XD

ohh..... nothing... to whoever asked before.... I guess...

*shrugs*

*Sneaks out of denial tent and hugs Katie tightly*

I agree with the whole men are frustraiting kahlia. *Hugs*

Just don't loose hope Dayna *hugs*

*Hugs to all who need/want/accept them. Sneaks back into denial tent*

It is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cold :(

But we have snow :D :D :D :D

*Pokes head out of denial tent* Cool snow, never seen it. Wish I could. Hope you are having fun in the snow Helen. *Pops back into the denial tent leaving hugs and hot chocolate for all*:wow:

*Hugs all*

Katrica - Hi, nice to meet you! How are things going today?

Nicole - *offers lots and lots of hugs* Don't have much to offer now, but I'm listening.

Katie - How are you doing now?

Dayna - from reading here, it looks like you had a conversation with your friend... how are you feeling now? *hugs*

Emma - *cuddles* What's wrong Emma?

Kahlia - how are you feeling today?

Helen - Snow! sweet :) How much snow do you have?

*Hugs Dayna* How are you feeling at the moment?

Gee it's been busy in here, feel like I've missed loads :P

My friend finally replied to one of my texts. On new years day she replied with a snide comment about how I didn't help enough to clean up the sick.
She's replied to tell me she can't come out with me. She avoided my phone calls on Saturday night, and I know she did because I phoned her three times and when I asked my mate to phone her she answered straight away.
I think she didn't come out because I was there. There was a pause in the conversation where my other mate said 'uh yeah she is, there's a bunch of us here' and then she said she wasn't coming. Can't help but think she'd said 'is Arwen there?'

Sigh.

*Hugs ravyn back* Thank you:Wink:

Zowie am sorry your friend is treating you like this. *hugs*

I'm in one of those 'states' where all I feel like doing is lying in bed.
I've got a few things which need doing, but all I feel like doing is lying here.
It's also all I've done today so far. =\

Love & hugs to all. x

Aww I'm sorry you're feeling the same way today.
I managed to get up & bathed & dressed. Go me. =]

Hi everyone,

sorry I have been so rubbish at supporting recently, I am having trouble just putting one foot in front of the other just now.

Had to delete his number today as it is just too much for me now.
Feel totally empty and worthless.

Even the denial tent doesn't help

*hugs everyone*

Helen: ;o Nice. Enjoy that snow!

Ravyn: Yeah, we finally had the talk we needed. I still feel terrible though ;-;

Zowie: *Hugs back* I'm sorry to hear that you're getting such trouble off your mates >___O

Lucy: Mmm, I know what you mean. I hardly want to do anything today, either

Kat: >__< *Hugs tightly*

Mary Anne: Don't worry about it, it's perfectly understandable. But I'm glad to hear that you've gotten rid of his number. I might not know your situation, but I've read enough to get the impression that the less contact with him, the better *hugs*

*Hugs anyone she missed*


Like I said earlier, I feel. Like. ****. I think I had a mini-breakdown last night or something. I think all the pain about this whole ****ing situation that I'd kept more or less to myself came tumbling out. After our conversation, my mood kept swinging dramatically. I was fine one minute, then blinking back tears the next. And I was okay when I came offline to get ready to go to bed, and sort of crumpled. Kept struggling with horrible thoughts of suicide again, as well x________x.

Went into the living room, and the tears just started. And I cried. And cried. And cried. ****, I actually ended up collapsing to my knees and clinging onto the Goddamn armchair just for something to hold, and sobbed myself stupid. I could hardly stop.

I don't have trouble with crying. I well up, and tears fall easily, but it's just crying for more than a few minutes that I have trouble with. It tends to stop after five, tops, and it's really rare when I cry for more than that. Last night, I must've sobbed for about half a ****ing hour. I ended up walking around the house sniffling and ****, praying my housemate couldn't hear. Only calmed down when I finally got into bed, and then couldn't sleep, and the tears started again. Not as bad, but even so x_x. So yeah, I'm irritable thanks to lack of sleep, and I just generally feel like absolute ****ing ****.

[/Long post is long]