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-   -   Share your tips for staying SH free (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3541)

ihatethereforeiam 15-10-2007 09:10 PM

I usually count the days, weeks etc, but this time I didn't and I'm 5 months free now. Longest I've been.
When I reach 6 months, I'm going to treat myself to a waspie (corset like thing) or a tongue piercing.

Eclectica 16-10-2007 02:43 AM

I stopped by one simple way.

I HARD promise.

I promised one of the people I would die for that I would stop, just for them. And it worked. I'm now eight months free :]

Les 29-11-2007 10:29 PM

one thing i did once that helped me stop for 18 months was i bought one of those italian charm bracelets. every month i went i added a charm. by the 18 months i had a whole bracelet of charms. the charms were meaningful things to me. having all of them there and worrying about having to start over if i cut helped.

also writing poetry, art and song lyrics really help me cope.

N.Bluth 30-11-2007 10:19 AM

I promised my best friend and my boyfriend that I'd stop, and they're both bigger than me :hehe: ! I don't want to let them down, 'cos they've both been amazing.

I agree with distracting yourself however you like, chat to a mate, paint, dance, watch your favourite comedy show/film, use the net, play an instrument, sing, walk, run, kickbox, write, bake, read.... Well anything that will get your mind off the impulse.
Counting days keeps my focus, and as many have said, puts me off doing it as I know how far I've come, and I don't want to give that up.

But here's one for those in a couple, when you're wound up and you're about to reach that point, give your partner a really good, hard, passionate kiss. Trust me. It works every time.


Kae 05-12-2007 04:35 AM

I'm in the process of stopping, it'll be two weeks tomorrow, and I've found what's helped was getting my friend, the guy who means more to me than anything, to write a note on a piece of paper that I just.. hold on to when I feel the urge, reading his words makes me feel like I shouldn't - like I don't want to, and that's helped a lot. Also, lotions.. drawing on myself instead of hurting myself. It helps to draw the lines of where I'd cut if I could, and then looking at those lines and realizing how good it is that I haven't cut.

invisiblegirl 12-12-2007 11:27 PM

Usually i'll go for a walk to calm down. Or i'll write.
Mostly whenever i get that sudden urge- i'll go for a walk and listen to music on my mp3 player, and i'll walk and talk to myself (in a park so no one hears), i'll say what i'm thinking out loud so i know its real. I'll try and think about the REASON why want to self harm- not "i feel bad"- but WHY do i feel bad? How can i resolve the situation?
A lot of the time its because i feel like i've behaved like a **** or said something without thinking- and i just have to remind myself that cutting won't take away my feelings of embarrasment or my anger and at myself for beign stupid. Instead i just remind myself to calm down in social situations so it doesn't happen again.
Most importantly i remind myself SELF HARM DOESN'T RESOLVE A SITUATION, IT TEMPORARLY GIVES YOU A SENSE OF RELIEF, AND AFTERWARDS, THE PROBLEM IS STILL THERE, THE ONLY THING DIFFERENT IS A CUT OR A BURN OR A BRUISE.

Bella_forever 13-12-2007 08:16 AM

I quit with a friend. I helped her and vis versa

lolly_x 13-12-2007 01:34 PM

works if ya girly and have someone you love/don't wanna hurt

Draw a butterfly/something cute on ya arm on wrist and call it someone you love/don't want to hurt i have 2 atm katy and claire but as soon as cuts are healed too more are going on

DisenchantedxRomance 13-12-2007 02:03 PM

I take a red pen where I want to cut, and I draw how I would cut. It helps, I did that last night cause I had an urge and honestly, it lets you see where your scars would be. I got a little bit tired of looking at it. It helps me.

Bella_forever 15-12-2007 01:10 AM

I am a year free. Its great. I am so happy. I am trying to help 2 of my friends.

Lou_Pie 07-01-2008 08:09 PM

For tolerable urges - do something I really enjoy doing (for me: playing games, watching a DVD. dancing around my room).
For bad urges - I write down my feelings in detail, in therapy I learnt that I have a tendency to go 'I feel really bad' but never identify why. Nowadays I make a list (mental or physical) of what is bothering me then either find solutions or realise that I'm upset about nothing. Crying. The elastic band thing as the last resort. Staying away from the rooms that I used to harm in. Calling my best friend.
For urges in a public place (the pub etc): Wearing a hair bobble on my wrist just in case, relaxation techniques, calling my best friend (again!).

For general reasons to stay self-harm free: proving everyone wrong; staying happy; not having the stress of buying tools or covering up; no new scars; (eventually) short sleeves, going swimming, going on holiday; not upsetting my family and friends; being in control of my life; the prospect of becoming a teacher; the future in general; knowing that I overcame something difficult.

pixie 08-01-2008 05:16 PM

I love the ideas posted by Lou Pie.
When i get urges i either draw on myself with red pen where i would cut if i could, and spend ages making it look as real as possible, then feel good afterwards for not actually having done anything. or i text my friend who has been helping me through all my issues, he always makes me feel better.

Like Lou Pie, i also want to be a teacher, and want to be able to go swimming on holiday in the summer without having to worry about covering up. I find its always good to have a reason stopping you from doing it, my friend threatened to tell my parents i cut if i do it again and i haven't done it since and im now 58 days free :)

Take care everyone

xxx

__T 08-01-2008 05:29 PM

Physical exercise does the trick for me. Takes my mind away from the urges, and afterwards i'm too shattered to take any action on the urges.
Also, physical exercise has been proven to release more of serotonin, the endorphin which triggers the feel good hormone in human beings. Unlike anti-depressants, this has been shown to have no negative side effects as a result.

Article on it here: http://www.ivillage.co.uk/dietandfit...565736,00.html

So yea, exercise =]

((deleted)) 21-01-2008 01:31 PM

Me- i run until i can no longer run then i run home (makes me feel human again but i don't do it unless i'm desperate)

But my fave thing is my first aid box. It is an old shoebox that i covered and decorated and made all glittery- i have all sorts of special treats in it-

some really nice hand cream, my favourite hot chocolate sachets, a mini jigsaw puzzle, a famous five book, photos of those i love, lists of reasons not to, cocoa butter&aromatherapy oils for my scars, rescue remedy and a mini notebooks with a glitter gel pen.

When i get the urge i open my first aid box and use something from it. I change the contents now and then but whatever i have in it i don't use the rest of the time- thus making it a special treat.

I find the aromatherapy oils a godsend cos i can tailor mixes to my mood- some good ones are:
*lavender
*roman chamomile
*clary sage
*ylang ylang
*frankincense
*ginger
*sandalwood

and i use grapeseed as my base- obviously check any contra-indications before using them though.

Good luck

still hurting 22-01-2008 03:50 PM

i'm only just starting to try and quit, but what's motivating me right now is a whole life transformation, trying to get in shape, considering a completely new hair style becoming involved in new activities. it's like a slow but active whole life makeover and not cutting is part of that. trying to quit but keeping everything else in your life the same is practically impossible

((deleted)) 23-01-2008 05:12 PM

Hi Bethany,

It's great what youa re doign but i would just add to make sure you don't try and change too much at once.

*huggles* good luck sweetie.

Ruth
xxxx

Alyssa! 27-01-2008 12:06 PM

I don't count days. Counting days makes me feel like I'm still attached to SH, like it's still a part of me. When I want to cut, I think of how far I've come and how far I know I can go. I write, I dance, I do whatever I need to in order to feel better at that very moment.

FalsePerfection 28-01-2008 06:27 PM

im not exactly counting days, but i know its been about a month now. being in a treatment program helps me, also writing, dancing, singing, and calling a friend. i tried using a red pen but it made me really anxious. GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE!

Schleier von Dunst 05-02-2008 08:02 PM

I text my friend(s) when I want to cut. Or I come on here, and just browse, or go on f&d. It helps me. Sometimes I read, or wrist poems or just write, and sometimes I cry. It helps me feel better.

dancerkels 08-02-2008 01:23 AM

awesome tips, thanks i really need them


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