I think it is a really good idea for you to go to bed, especially if you are feeling so bad. I understand how hard it is but could you try to think of the advice you have given certain others on this site when they have thought or been tempted by suicide? You may not be sure but I KNOW you can get through this *huge hugs* x

I'll try to but usually when i tell it to myself it never works and i've also got this annoying voice in my head telling me to do stuff but i haven't been taking any notice of it i'm blocking it out by supporting others and keeping all my problems and feelings away which is the best thing if nowon knows how i really feel :(.
I'm gonna try and get some sleep before i do anything xx thanks for letting me talk to you for a little while em xx

*grabs bat and metaphorically beats Emma's (lil-princess') annoying subconcious voice into unconciousness to allow her some rest and peace*. If you need or want to chat at anytime tomorrow and one of us can't get online feel free to PM or text Helen and get her to give you my no :). Offer is there anyway, or PM me. *hugs* x

*sigh*

I wish I knew what I was feeling right now... I'm kind of out of it I guess... Slightly teary... I want to be sad... Or something... *sigh* I just really don't know... There's a ghost of something there (sadness I think) but I can't grab hold of it :-(

:crying:

I hate this.

Oh...

Cousin update: she's doing well, her vitals are good and only has a slight headache. Problem is some effects don't show up until 10 days AFTER inhaling the drug :pinch:... I hope that's not the case...

*hugs ally*

Stay safe there and tc of urself!

Hope ur cuz is alrite too...what did she inhale?

*crawls in*
blah
*hides*

*hugs all round*
Hope everyone is staying safe.

Ally, I'm glad to hear that your cousin is doing well. I've got my fingers crossed for her and hope she has a speedy and successful recovery.

I want to hide away...*grabs my teddy and curls into a small ball behind a huge bean bag*

*hugs all in the psych ward*

*offers coffee/tea to everyone with calorie free cookies*

Thx's Emma :-)

Damn, i can't sleep now *sigh*

And i feel very wierd atm hmm...strange feeling, oh well..hope it passes

i...cant...stay...awake..

*hugs Alexx and brews a coffee for her to drink*

thankies.
*takes coffee*
*sips it*
*begins to fall asleep*

i keep crying :/

*puts her hand in her pocket*
*finds all her meds*
im confused.
im scared.
Why is everyone ignoring me :crying:

Alexx sweetie, what's up?

*hugs*

Alexx...y would we ignore u? We'll never do that xxx

bleh...
i got horribly drunk last night...
which was fun...and i felt great..
but the guy i was with...who i like alot...knows ive hurt myself and i feel like i let him down coz i was trying to get through this for him and my best mate....
but ive let everyone down...
im such a f*ckup...
and i fell asleep without taking my meds.
Im lay on the couch...not even dressed yet...
i really cant move.
i feel like such a waste.
im never gonna achieve anything....
i just want to die :/
everyone hates me anyway :pinch:

im sorry...im so paranoid....
I.CANT.DO.THIS

I dont wanna be alone :crying:

*throws a pillow at Alexx*

I don't hate you

*warm snuggles*

Please take care hunni... I wish I had more for you but I'm exhausted and a bit out of it...

Its ok.
*snuggles and cries quietly*
I'm sorry :(

I'm here for alexx....

Do look after urself :-)

Stay safe and if u need anything just yell out to us

*cries again*
Im bored of crying now...
I cant stop though...



Can you make someone love me just for me?:crying:

*throws a teddy bear for alexx*

*picks it up and curls up in the corner*

Alexx honey i hope you are doing better
you arent a fvckup at all

Alyssa if your cousin is already doing so much better maybe there won't be any long-term effects even in 10 days? *fingers crossed*

lil-princess Emma, how are you now hun?

*passes round fuzzy blankets and chocolate to all*

Callie i feel really really down :crying:
I dont want to do this anymore...
I'm pretending to be fine to everyone online...
It's too hard...

*hides in the corner*

*squishes everyone*

I'm having an awful day. My new mobile phone (that I got for my 18th) has broke. Before that I smashed two cups, well the handles off them and broke down crying then.....and I still haven't heard from my friend. ALSO I got a REALLY horrible myspace message the morning, well not horrible, but not nice *shudder*

*breaks down again and lies down in the tent*

Alexx honey you don't have to pretend
you don't have to suffer alone
please call your doc or somebody honey
hang in there - you aren't alone
remember we are all really in the magical Denial Tent and we are all together and safe and we all understand and never have to hide ourselves there
Helen i'm sorry about the myspace message and your phone
i am SO clutzy and i go through phones like THAT so i never get nice ones!! i drop them or accidentally throw them at concrete walls and crack them (long story) or they just die or they get wet lol
don't feel bad - clutzyness gives us character *nods*
could you ring the hosp and ask after your friend, or ask to speak to her and see if you can visit? you mean your preggie friend, right?
*hugs everybody*

My doctors gone on holiday :'(
he's left me...
i dunno who to call...
Im scared...

*sits whispering and rocking*
everyones gone...
gone away..
I should go..
go away..
*whimpers*

long time no visit!!! any of the crowd who will remember me around? *waves to everybody I don't know*

*drags self and duvet into a corner and lights up* anyone up for art therapy later?

oh and cuddles reason[TO]believe

hello ~Buttons~
*goes back to hiding*

*wraps arms around knees*

Cousin update: she was released today (woo-hoo), still has quite the headache... Bad news: she went home with her mother :pinch:. The same mother that just six months ago kicked both her and her older sister out and told their grandmother she didn't want any information about them, she didn't need it. My Aunt (her grandma) is a mess... A lot of the family is. This is not a good environment for her. Her mother was the bad influence responsible for the mess this childs life has become... She doesn't want the girls, never did. She used them to get back at their dad when he was alive and to hurt my Aunt... Her older sister (who is of age and so doesn't have to stay where she doesn't want) is going with her for a few days to make sure she is ok and will then return to her grandparents house. That news did help my Aunt some. Still,it is a rather sober group right about now... This was not in the best interests of the child :crying: and she's our baby (16, but still ours)...

*huggs knees and stares vacantly at the floor*

I can't call the hospital, she doesn't live anywhere near to me :(

*checks in*
never ever ever ever EVER....
let me leave ok?
*panics*

what are you panicking about sweetheart?

I cant leave..
Im scaring myself..
I'm gonna do something stupid..
no ones in...
I'll die alone...
no one will know...

*squishes Alex, talk to me on msn hunnie*

My friend is losing her baby, the only chance of it living would be a miracle.

This week really is going wonderfully.....NOT

i dunno what to say though :(
I wanna hideeeeee

This isn't fair =[

aww Alexx honey you can always call a crisis line
or ring ur therapist and ask for an emergency appt with somebody else at the practice?
please be safe and call somebody hun
you dont have to be alone
*squishes Helen* hope you are okay love
aww Alyssa i am sorry to hear that your cousin's mum is such a bitch
but at least she is well and okay and out of the hosp now
*waves to Buttons and Jeremy*
hugs to all
*goes to camp out in Denial Tent*
so nervous about therapy again tomorrow and i feel bad that i havent told work i will need an extra long lunch oops

*hugs Ally, ~Buttons~, Jeremy and Reason[to]believe*

Hope you are all alright.

Ally, I am glad to hear that your cousin's ok and been discharged. I am also sorry to hear that things are not working out in her best interests. Is there nothing anyone can do to improve her lot?

Heya everyone,

I hope your all doing ok, sorry i haven't been around today i haven't been feeling to great, i still don't feel 100% but i'm here if any of you need to talk.
*hugs all round* xxx

*sobs*

It isn't fair.

*hides because feels ignored and misses Em* :(

Feeling really down at the moment.
Worrying all the time. Not feeling safe.
Want to harm myself

:blue:

*hugs blueman and offers him a hot chocolate*

What are you worrying about hun?
Hope you are able to keep yourself safe.

*squishes Emma and Nathan and Helen and Alexx*
everything seems to fall apart at once, doesn't it?
Helen hun you arent being ignored sweetie. what isn't fair?
Emma i'm sorry you still feel bad
Nathan sweetie what are you worried about? i'm sorry you feel unsafe. is there somebody around you can talk to? your wife?
Alexx honey how are you doing now?
*paces around Denial Tent* arghh i feel so like wound up

i still haven't done any work. for like 2 weeks. and im getting so behind. crap crap crap. i have exams just after easter.
and i havent emailed my counsellor telling her how im distracting myself, cos im not actively doing anything, im just.....lethargic. and sinking further into self hatred. and i think theres something wrong with me as well, i dont feel right. i think i should go to the doctor. yay more effort. i really cant be fvcked to do anything. sorry im being self absorbed. callie why are you wound up?

*hugs Chloe*
come rest up in the Denial Tent and its magical powers will give you the courage to call your doc
i think you are right hun you need to see your doc and get better before you sink anymore
you can catch up with your coursework, just do a little at a time
yeah i have no idea why i am so anxious right now
actually i probably do
i am wicked nervous about my appt tomorrow and i feel really bad for not telling work earlier and having to take like an extra hour for lunch to make it
i think i have to lie and pretend i am getting my car fixed or something. i will say i got a flat tire? lol i dunno

*hugs everyone*

Ally, I am glad your cousin has been discharged from hospital and hopefully the situation with her living location will sort itself out soon. I am sorry I have no advise but I'm thinking of you x

*hugs Callie* what's up hun? Is it about your appointment? x

*hugs Alexx* Stay strong hun, and try to keep safe! x

Hey Blueman, sorry you are struggling at the moment, do you want to talk about it?

*hugs Lil-princess again*

Effervesence (sorry, I have forgotten your name d'oh!) *hugs you*- it is ok to be self absorbed sometimes hun, don't be too hard on yourself. I think going to the Doctor may be a good idea and maybe talking to your personal tutor if you have one? They might be able to give you some sort of lee way with exams and essays etc? Take care x

I have PM'd you Helen *hugs*

*hugs and apologies for anyone I have forgotten*