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Scarletdreamer 27-01-2010 03:42 PM

Awh Joc... *gentle cuddles* Why are you so triggered? is there anything that I/we can do to help? I understand the urge to self-destruct, have it at the mo myself, but can't/won't do anything to give in to it... it's so difficult.

I think a nap would be a good idea... *more cuddles* ♥

I'm working on uni stuff... an assignment on ethics. Have to post about it in a moment... not looking forward to that as it bends my brain a bit and I hate that!! I emailed my health psych prof about the SF-26 so hopefully he'll respond in time for me to do it prior to lab... eek. :-X I don't want my first lab assignment to be lacking but I'm afraid that it will be... :(

*hides*

Imaginary_friend 27-01-2010 04:02 PM

*hugs everyone*
I'm so sad everyone's feeling rubbish :(
I hope you all feel better soon.
I'm still really tired, despite a fab night's sleep...I need to do some work but I always end up doing the stuff I like first. 's probably a bit of a mistake because I'll end up with a massive pile of stuff I hate/don't understand, and not enough time left to do it.
argh.
*hides in a corner with a blanket*

Scarletdreamer 27-01-2010 04:05 PM

*hides with LauraFriend*

Have a ton of stuff to do myself... don't want to do any of it!!!! so sick of uni. Just want to up & quit but can't as I am so close to being done with it...

*sigh*

*disappears for a bit into her mind* :(

Imaginary_friend 27-01-2010 04:09 PM

same! *hugs april* i tried sorting out what i'm doing after uni yesterday....and it's scary! i'm kind of excited but i dunno what's gonna happen really which makes me worry about it, and then i cant concentrate and it's all a vicious cycle. *sighs* it WILL be ok. it WILL be ok....*hums to herself, rocking back and forth* lol

Scarletdreamer 27-01-2010 04:23 PM

*more cuddles for LauraFriend* I feel so stuck... I hate uni so much, heh, but I will get this stupid assignment done!!! :( I just won't get the best grade on it as I am missing one assessment & it's a pretty major one I think... dunno... it's the first assignment & I'm feeling rubbishy so yer. Going to have to talk with my profs about how I'm doing... which is not so well.

Am still angry at my therapist... don't want to see her but will be going back on Monday. It's just not fair!! that she can be so "mean" but be intending to challenge my "cognitive distortions" - how is it cognitive distortions if I am actually having flashbacks & urges to purge and cut?!??!

I think I need to post in my R&V thread... :(

shadowedsoul 27-01-2010 05:19 PM

curls up in corner under a blaket. i feel so numb, and completely lost, no idea how i should be feeling, sad angery he is my granda, but he a complete arsh. **** cant do this . cyrs

[Awakening] 27-01-2010 05:32 PM

hows the work going april? any progress? *squishes* sorry this is so bloody tough right now, be gentle with yourself. In future could u pretend to do it about urself but actually base it on someone elses answers so its not so personal and difficult for u?

I'm sorry ur so angry as well :-( did ranting help? could u try destructing something? like a piece of paper or a plate or something to get the rage out?

*hugs shadow* sorrry my brains mush and i cant remember ur name sweetie. I'm sorry ur feeling like this. I can relate to how ur feeling though :-( Family members are still human and therefore can be arseholes like the rest of us. Idk what happening or anything but im sorry and you can do this! You are stronger than u feel, u can get through this patch *wipes tears and offers chocolate* x x

MammaMia 27-01-2010 05:39 PM

*sends everyone cuddles*

Am back, getting annoyed, they haven't activated my new phone and it's already been 24 hours, hurry up you bastards :(

SoMuchMore 27-01-2010 07:09 PM

*cuddles everyone* sry there have been a lot of posts since yesterday.. and i dont have capacity to respond to everyone.. but i read them all and am thinking of u all.

I just want things to get easier.. It feels so dumb that they aren't

Scarletdreamer 27-01-2010 07:38 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Jill, I agree with what Joc said. Family members are still human & can still be arses. I'm so sorry that you've been through so much lately, though... is there any way that you can take a little bit of time for "me time"? just to relax & treat yourself to something special?

Joc, I got everything done (almost) that I had to get done... urgh. I hate uni... heh... I know I keep saying that & I also know that I need a better attitude about all of this, but it's so ****ing hard!!! I am still angry & destroying something might help, but I'm not sure what. My NP was not impressed with my therapist's way of viewing me at the mo. Ugh. I definitely need to post in R&V. I'll do that after this post.

Helen, that sucks about them not activating your phone sooner... but it's cool that you got a new phone!! Which one is it/what does it look like? I have the "old" flip-phone, got it in Sept. 2008 so it's a bit old but still works like a charm. :)

LauraStar, I wish that I could do something to make things better for you... :( I really do. IS there anything that I/we can do? what's so bad? anxiety? *gentle hugs*

'Kay, going to my venting spot... :-X

shadowedsoul 27-01-2010 09:40 PM

sorry guys, but iam i wrong for feeling this way. my granda in hospital he has caught some viris and his kiddneys are not working and he has a bad heart, my anuite has said he getting worse, but i dont know mabye he needs to get worse before he gets better. but i feel noithing but anger, he treated us like **** for months and months, god i sound like a cold hearted bit*h, curls up in corner and crys

MammaMia 27-01-2010 09:50 PM

It's Samsung S5600, had to ring them twice before they'd help and it's finlly working now :D

Imaginary_friend 27-01-2010 10:13 PM

hope everyone is feeling a little bit better *hugs*
I'm not going out. i have no distractions and i can't talk to my friends. I want a drink so bad and I swear i'm not an alcoholic. i want to hurt myself and i don't want to feel like this. sorry.
*hugs everyone and sits down to cry*

AMCarmody 28-01-2010 04:51 AM

I had stopped harming for 6 years.

Today, I relapsed. And I'm still ...

Kahlia1981 28-01-2010 05:38 AM

i'm back from hospital ... in the same shape that I went in. They did jack-diddly-****ing-squat and sent me home suicidal. Isn't our health care system great.

SoMuchMore 28-01-2010 06:41 AM

*cuddles kahlia* im so sorry that they didn't help you. Try to stay strong hun.

*hugs annie? (is that ur name?)* don't think of it as a relapse. 6 years is amazing. It was just a slip up. Try to learn what triggered it and move on if u can. Hope you are alright.

*hugs laurafriend* sorry that you are having such a bad time right now.

*hugs helen* glad that ur phone is working now. I love getting new phones :-)

*cuddles shadowedsoul*

*hugs april* i read your venting spot. I'm sorry that you are so angry right now. Try to relax, do something nice for yourself.

So my friend that i had the spat with over the weekend is speaking to me again.. sort of... We are very very cheerful to each other (too many smiles... it feels fake) i think we are both trying not to upset each other. Still tho, my boyfriend has been trying to "fix" her situation.. and it just can't be fixed.. and he is spending all his time on that.. and i dont want to be selfish.. but ive seen him a total of maybe an hour in the past 3 days.. and they are getting to talk to him 24/7... idk maybe im still being stupid.

AMCarmody 28-01-2010 12:46 PM

That's our name, Annie, yes. We don't know what to do ... we're going insane, we don't know how to hide arms and legs from Partner ... we see him tomorrow ... he suspects nothing and we don't know how to tell him Annie is one body but many inside during an episode, never herself, and then there's the cuts ... we're screwed. In so so so much trouble. That just makes us spiral further down.

Scarletdreamer 28-01-2010 02:57 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Kahlia, so sorry that you got rubbish help!! That sucks so much. I hope that you feel better soon, keep posting on here if it helps. *gentle hugs*

LauraStar, how're you doing this morning? Sounds like an uncomfortable position with your boyfriend helping another girl - maybe talk to him about it, tell him how it makes you uncomfortable? Open communication = one of the best ways to keep a relationship going. *hugs*

LauraFriend... I wish I could help you more. :( I'm sorry that you're having such a rough time at the mo... keep posting - if it helps - then we can support you.

Helen, awesome that your phone is finally working. :D I can't wait to get a new one whenever... heh... not soon but perhaps this coming fall/winter? I dunno. :) How're you feeling? any plans for the day?

Annie, 6 years is amazing!! Don't look at it as a relapse, just a lapse or a slipup. You will be fine & will make it... *gentle hugs*

Jill, you're not a bad person. If someone's treated you & your family awfully there's no doubt in my mind that you would hold some harsh feelings towards him/her. Especially if s/he is a family member, like your grandpa... *gentle hugs* Hope things get figured out soon.

If I missed anyone, I'm sorry... :o

I'm doing okayish. Have to leave for uni soon as I'm walking... no ride today as my dad had a doctor's appt and my car isn't working right still (I don't think, anyway - I'm going to be taking it in on Tuesday). GRRRR. Thankfully it's only about a mile there so not too bad. I just don't want to have to transfer all of my stuff to my backpack, what a pain in the arse!!

Still angry at therapist. Ugh. I hate being angry but at least this time I'm really FEELING it...

*hides*

MammaMia 28-01-2010 03:20 PM

*curls up and cries*

Not doing so good.

[Awakening] 28-01-2010 03:30 PM

Jill, I don't think its healthy to be as angry as u are but its normal and i dont think that is wrong. i think its a stage u have to go through before dropping and forgiving them. U can still hate what they did but love them. du see what i mean. give urself time and try to relax like April said *hugs*

Helen, yay for the working phone! Why aren't u feeling good whats up hon?

Laura friend, I felt the same way last night and did something that ended up making me feel really ill and horrible. How did u get on hon. Are u feeling better now?

Annie *hugs* Im sorry that u relapsed but its part of recovery. I relapsed after 3 yrs because i hadnt delt with the underlying issues. How u doing sweetie? Does your partner know anything about what ur going through? It might help to tell them if u can? Are u seeing someone who u can tlk to about it?

Kahila, I'm sorry that they didnt help :-( have u got a home treatment team for a while or something? Ur health system sounds v similar to ours!

April, have u tried my idea? I always want to do it when i get angry but end up hurting myself instead :-/ Sorry u have to walk, what a pain! I hope uni goes well. I'm glad u got most things done!

Feeling crappy after taking stupid meds (not my own) last night to try and make me sleep. Had a bad reaction to them, i feel reall sleepy but not able to sleep and slightly ill and sick and agitated :-( i should have just drunk. Silly Jocelyn! I dont really know hwat to do with myself. If i feel as bad as i did last night tonight i'll just want to die again :-(

MammaMia 28-01-2010 03:33 PM

I actually can't do much right.
Missed two interviews this week. I fail.
Maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I am.
Maybe everything won't be alright after all.
Can we just roll onto last week of February please?
Because then I know I will be happy.
:'(

[Awakening] 28-01-2010 03:38 PM

It's ok to miss things sometimes. Its ok to relax sometimes. It's ok to 'fail' sometimes. None of us our perfect and we need to be gentle to ourselves. If i told u all the things ud just listed were true of me, that id missed 2 interviews, that im not strong, that i cant do anything right, what would u say to me? U probably wouldnt be as harsh as ur being to urself. We have a tendancy to treat ourselves very different to others.

try to do some things to make urself happy now. treat urself or somthing?

*cuddles Helen and offers a pedicure*

Scarletdreamer 28-01-2010 03:48 PM

*cuddles Joc & Helen*

Joc, I haven't destroyed anything (yet) OR hurt myself... so I think I'm doing okay... just been writing it out, I guess, and talking about it some with my husband. It's kind of tough but I will manage. I am stronger than I think, perhaps... I don't know. I don't know how to cope with anger though so it's not really going away... maybe I do need to rip something up and let the anger flow through my hands into that action. I don't know.

I'm sorry that you don't feel too well. :( That sucks. *hugs*

Helen, I agree with what Joc said... if I or she were to say those things, how would you react? We're much harsher on ourselves than we are on others... so try perhaps & give yourself a break? treat yourself to something nice - just take a little bit of "me-time" to get yourself back on track. *gentle hugs* I know you can do it, and that you're not a failure, and that you ARE strong. ♥

Oh, and what's the last week of February? *curious*

Am at uni now... walked here, woohoo, in about 40 minutes - pretty good time considering how cold it is out & how much I was carrying... lol. I brought homework to do during my tutoring hours (starting in about 45 minutes) and then my stuff for classes (health psych & advanced counseling techniques). Blah. My neck hurts from carrying so much... heh. :-X Ooh, just cracked it so it feels better... :P a little anyway.

I don't want to beeee here... :( I hate uni so much... just want to be done!!!!! :ermm:

MammaMia 28-01-2010 04:27 PM

Too true, we are much harsher on ourselves.
Thank you two *cuddles to you both*
April, last week of Feb, is when I shall be visitng my best friend J
:D

Scarletdreamer 28-01-2010 04:30 PM

*cuddles Helen* Awh good, I'm glad that you have time to spend with a close friend. :) Hopefully it is a lovely escape-y time for you!!

Are you feeling a bit better now, or still shitty?


MammaMia 28-01-2010 04:40 PM

It will be.
It really will be.
*cuddles back*
I still feel **** but a little better?

Scarletdreamer 28-01-2010 04:42 PM

YEY for feeling a little better!! *does a happy dance*

I just finished some uni work that is due later today, whoopsies... heh. But at least I got it done. And I'm enjoying my white hot chocolate... mmmm. Yum. :)

Still am angry at therapist. Wish I could do something about it that would make the anger GO AWAY!!!! :(

MammaMia 28-01-2010 04:46 PM

Yay for getting work done, that's always a good feeling. Once I had to hand in an assignment by 4pm and started it at 3am and finished it at 1.30pm (I went to bed etc) hehehehe. Needless to say, I actually failed it. :P

Oh white hot chocolate sounds yum, might try it sometime, not really a fan of white chocolate.

Maybe divert the energy of being angry into working or helping others or something???

Scarletdreamer 28-01-2010 04:49 PM

Lol re: the assignment... that's kind of funny but sad that you failed. :( I hope I get an okay grade on my lab turn-in yesterday as I finished it the morning it was due!! :-/ I didn't know what I was doing - bad April, bad!! :(

White hot choc is yummilicious but I don't know if you'd like it if you don't like white chocolate... :) But I love it & it's cheaper than chai at the place I go so of course I get it!! :P

I just want to go to bed!! :(

MammaMia 28-01-2010 04:52 PM

I'm sure you'll get a great mark :)
Fair enough to you.
I want to go back to bed too, so know how you feel.
Even if it is nearly 4pm here :P

Scarletdreamer 28-01-2010 05:27 PM

It's nearly 4pm there?! That's crazy... lol. It's only 11:30am here. :P

I hope I'll get at least a 75% on it... a C+, not ideal but certainly better than nothing!! Hopefully better than that though...

I'm so freaking tired. :( And I have a whole day yet to get through!!! :ermm:

I think once I'm done updating my LJ I'll update my r/v spot... *sigh*

brndedhero 28-01-2010 05:48 PM

@April I'm sure you'll do really well you seem like a really intelligent and dedicated person which is all you really need.

@MammaMia I'm pretty much falling asleep too I hate how it's getting dark already.

Just sent out a job application those things always bring me down especially the previous experience section it's really hard landing that first proper job especially during a huge recession.

SoMuchMore 28-01-2010 06:24 PM

*cuddles april* its such a pain to have to walk so far with so much stuff.. i always walk everywhere and sometimes i get so annoyed. I'm sure that you will do at least okay on ur assignment. Sorry that you are so tired.

*cuddles helen* Try not to focus on anything you feel like you failed. Its not worth the negative energy really (...and i feel like a hypocrite saying that b/c i always am down on myself for "failing" but yeah...) Its good that you have something to look forward to tho in Feb! :-)

*hugs jocelyn* Sorry that you had a bad reaction to your meds and that you are feeling shitty today still. Try to do something relaxing or fun or just nice.. Stay strong.

*hugs brndedhero* whats ur name if u dont mind me asking? Job hunting can really suck. I spent all last summer trying to get one and never got one. So annoying.

Its so frickin cold out... 2 degrees is no fun. I wish i could just stay inside the rest of the day and sleep. I never sleep well on days when i have early morning classes.

brndedhero 28-01-2010 06:46 PM

@Laura (at least I hope it's Laura) my name is Alan. I have no idea how cold it is out here but I don't really want to find out even though I have a huge craving to eat something really unhealthy.

Imaginary_friend 28-01-2010 06:59 PM

*sighs*
hey again guys
alan - i've just eaten loads and now i feel massively fat. good times huh? lol
Mamma Mia - i know the feeling...i want to sleep too and it's still only 6pm! haha
Joc - i hope you're feeling better today *hugs*
April - thanks, i think i will keep posting even if it's massively annoying for everyone else..haha. oh wells.
Laura - thank you :)

my day's been ok. i'm looking forward to going out and getting wasted last night...but this guy is still talking to me, still wanting me to go back to his...and i just haven't got the strength to fight it anymore. i want to go back to his. i just....i dunno. i don't care.

MammaMia 28-01-2010 07:04 PM

Keep going into my past.
Need to make my head go elsewhere.
*CUDDLES EVERYONE*

AMCarmody 28-01-2010 07:46 PM

Took a nap, loads more calm. Still shaking, still knowing we're about to spiral down and have an episode. When triggered it can't stop and boy was the trigger pulled.

But loads of love for all. Loads of hugs as well.

Scarletdreamer 28-01-2010 11:07 PM

Wow, a lot of postses... yey. :)

Alan, good luck with your job apps. *hug?* What type of jobs are you applying for?

Helen *big cuddles* I'm sorry that you're struggling right now... want to talk about it at all? or PM me (or someone else) if you don't want to post about it here?

LauraStar *cuddles* 2'F is effing cold, I agree!! It's supposed to be -20'F here (windchill) by tonight... my hair's wet right now & we're going shopping in a bit so I am going to have to do something to keep it from freezing, as it dries sooo slowly & we don't have a blowdryer. Haha. It's really odd when my hair does freeze - and it has before, walking back from the gym after a hot shower - rather funny looking, stiff strands of hair that poke out. But probably not good for it at all. Aaanyway... how was your day? ♥

LauraFriend *huggles* I'm glad that your day's been okay... what's the point in getting wasted? Sorry, have never drunk (or gotten drunk) even though I'm old enough to... heh. It seems a self-destructive (in the long-term at least) way of coping with issues rather than facing them. Just a thought. I know you're strong enough to cope... you've just got to find that strength. ♥

Annie *hugs* I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad... is there anything I/we can do to help? and I second what someone said earlier, does your partner know about the SI? Please try & take good care of yourself as best as you can.

I'm really tired & stressed & overwhelmed by school. I have so much stuff to do by next week & I am scared that I won't get it all done. :(

But I has a kitty in my lap who wants snuggles... anyone want kitty snuggles? :D

AMCarmody 28-01-2010 11:17 PM

*hugs for April*

Partner knows about bipolar and cancer and self-harm. He thinks we've stopped, he doesn't know about 'dissociation' while on an episode. We're going to spend weekend with him ... will be hard to hide.

We cheer you on and offer to help ... what's the coursework about? Maybe we could help you with some?

Oohh, kitten snuggles!!

brndedhero 29-01-2010 12:04 AM

*Hugs for Annie* I hope things work out for you this weekend with your partner, hopefully the more he knows and understands about you the more he can help you so it could work out for the best.

*Hugs for April* I'm applying for pretty much any IT/Computing jobs I can find, but there doesn't seem to be many jobs out there. If you're getting too tired and stressed you really should take a break from all this work if you know you can't get it all done it's probably a better idea to just do the stuff you can do in time well.

*Hugs MammaMia* I'm sorry I can't think of anything useful or reassuring to say, all I can do is offer a second hug *hugs*

*Hugs Laura* Nice to hear your day's been OK but if you don't want to or shouldn't see this guy then maybe you shouldn't, tell him you have to leave to play some epic games of rock paper scissors

So I managed to fall asleep after dinner and wake up a few hours later recently but seems as it's 11pm that means I will be awake until the early hours yet again. curses

Kahlia1981 29-01-2010 12:24 AM

*hugs everyone*

You ever get the feeling that one day is pretty much like another? That life is just crap and you really start to understand the lyrics to the M*A*S*H theme song (Suicide is Painless)?

Oh by the way... no community help was offered. I saw my GP yesterday and he suggested rebounding to the hospital but my housemate and I made it clear that they wouldn't accept me back. I was released from PICU in a suicidal state with no help. The health system here is a way of slowly killing people.

I'm just going to go sit in a dark corner until I disappear.

Scarletdreamer 29-01-2010 01:07 AM

*hugs Annie* I'm glad that your partner knows about those things... maybe tell him this weekend? If he loves you he won't harm you, physically/mentally, and if he does, well then, he's not worth your time. Sorry to be blunt but that's really how I feel. If he truly cares for you then he will accept you as you are. I hope that that doesn't offend. *offers another hug?*

Alan *hugs* I hope that you manage to find a job soon... seems like there ought to be all sorts of IT/computing jobs available but I guess with the recession(s) etc. things have gotten a lot worse than before. I just hope that I'll be able to find a job when I graduate (I'll be done in August, graduate in December if all goes well). I'm kind of scared about that... :ermm: I'm going to get everything done that I have to get done... no excuses for someone as a senior in uni. :( I hate that, or feeling like that, but oh well.

*cuddles Kahlia* I'm so sorry, sweetie, that they just let you off so easily. What did they do in hospital to try to help, or did they not do anything at all? med changes or anything? You have a psych, don't you? So you could talk with him/her about med changes, because maybe you need a med tweak right now? Sorry for all of the questions, just trying to brainstorm!! *more cuddles*

Listening to Pillar right now... just bought a new album at Walmart & uploaded it to my hubby's comp so it can go on my iPod. It's angry music... lol. Rocky & loud. My mum would HATE it. :P But I did hear about this awesome group called Anonymous 4 that is a group of four women who sing religious chants etc. from the 6th to the 14th century, I think. Heard them in Women & Spirituality last night & it was like all my anxiety (which was through the ****ing roof at the time) just disappeared... so yeh, really need to get that album!!!

*hugs everyone, then gets some LifeWater & a good book*

SoMuchMore 29-01-2010 01:39 AM

*cuddles for everyone* Sorry i can't do individual replies right now.. my brain is pretty much done for the day after 2 anxiety attacks and other drama..

I feel like I am being manipulated... but i can't put my finger on what the point would be.

MammaMia 29-01-2010 02:28 AM

*cuddles everyone lots*

Sorry, I can't do indvidual replies.

Keep having flashbacks tonight :'( They've stopped again for now at least. Plus panic attacks. Ugh. Had a really good laugh with my best friend J and we involved my other best friend G a little bit :P

Imaginary_friend 29-01-2010 03:22 AM

i get drunk because it's the only way i can cope. i guess it's just another form of self harm. but it is getting ridiculous. he doesn't even wanna see me. ****. why does it make me feel so bad? :( i just wanna hurt myself even more now. :'(
*hits her head against the wall and cries*

Kahlia1981 29-01-2010 09:11 AM

*cuddles everyone*

April: In hospital they put me into PICU to reduce the stimulation but other than that they did nothing. They told me one thing and then did nothing about it - I was supposed to get an ultrasound of my shoulder that never happened - I was put on brufen for the excruciating pain in my shoulder and that only once every 12 hours. No med changes. I don't have a pdoc or tdoc so I'm a bit out of my depth. They just wanted to get rid of me because I was taking up a bed that someone more worthy than me should have.

AMCarmody 29-01-2010 09:23 AM

*hugs everyone*

No sleep again. Sensory overload. Cold. Sleep but not quite. Headache. Arms and legs and tummy sting. Hungry. In 12 hours Partner finds out. We're scared of how he might react.

Kahlia1981 29-01-2010 12:03 PM

just wanted to give you all cuddles, and to please ask for some in return because I really need them.

:'(

Scarletdreamer 29-01-2010 12:33 PM

*BIG cuddles for Kahlia* I personally can't think of anyone more "worthy" of a bed than you, love... you need the help. Is there any way that you can get a tdoc/pdoc so you can get some meds etc.? I'm so sorry that they hardly did anything for you... that's awfully rubbish heathcare, really is, and I see absolutely no point in what they did(n't) do. Well, giving you the Brufen was a good thing but they obviously didn't do it enough... *more cuddles* Wish I could help more... I'm here to talk though, anytime - I check RYL throughout the day at uni & today I don't have to be there (uni) until 1:30pm so yeh. ♥

*cuddles LauraStar* Why & where do you feel like you're being manipulated? Hopefully not here on RYL... how're you doing today? did you get any sleep last night? I'm sorry to hear about the panic attacks... they suck. Do you know what brought them on? are you on any anti-anxiety meds? ♥

*hugs Annie* I hope that your partner will be kind & understanding about the injuries. He ought to be... I also hope that you managed to get some sleep last night & are feeling a bit better this morning.

*huggles LauraFriend* I'm so sorry for what's going on in your life, love... :( Getting drunk IS another way to self-harm, it can do awful things to your liver as you know, and you don't want to get cirrhosis. Please be careful... *holds you gently*

Kitty snuggles are once more available. :)

I'm feeling okayish right now. Just got up a bit ago... started the Depakote last night & am hoping against hope that I won't have any bad side effects. Guess if I haven't had the GI ones like nausea etc. yet, I won't... I hope not anyway!! I'm taking Depakote ER if that makes a difference... and the pills are GINORMOUS!!!! :'( I hate huge pills. :(

I want to listen to music... hmm, what shall I put on... I think Steven Curtis Chapman... pretty calm music. I really need to look into getting the album "Miracles of Santiago" by Anonymous 4. It's religious chants/songs from the 6th-14th century, very lyrical & anxiety-relieving. :) I heard it in Women & Spirituality and it was VERY calming... good because I was having an anxiety attack the entire 3 hours. Heh. :( Not good.

*sigh*

[Awakening] 29-01-2010 12:39 PM

:-( horrible headache

I'm not feeling great, i could really do with some kitty snuggles...


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