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or something really terrible....nothing amazing happens without eoghan....if I start to enjoy something, I then feel guilty that I'm having fun without him and then I miss him even more, and now I'm F'in crying again..............RAAAAAAAA!!!!!
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Don't feel guilty about being happy, I am sure it would please him that you can have fun when he isnt there as well.
I know what i mean and sorry if doesnt sound like it does in my head :( |
Wanders through and offers more hugs and generalised comfort.
I have the worst headache imaginable but I refuse to take thier painkillers. They wont trick me like that again. I wish life was better for us all. The sun is shining why does that make it worse? Gets bags of assorted hugs with sparkles, added comfort, added sleep, added numbness, and anything that anyone needs from a hug. |
can I have one of each of the assorted hugs please? Sorry if thats being greedy, when I'm feeling better I'll return the favour.
*goes out to smoking shelter to pass time whislt waiting on hugs and to stop from doing something I'll regret later* |
*hugs everyone who wants/needs/will take*
Scared about some stuff at the moment. Too many people nearby to explain right now, but will explain later. Hugs would be appreciated though, if anyone's got any to spare? |
*passes over a whole bag of assorted hugs made up special to Hayleys requirements* whatever you need it'll be in there, and its not being greedy, the world will never run out of hugs. ever.
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*also passes over a bag of assorted hugs to Auburn shadow* there you go, hugs all around for anyone who wants them.
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*picks one out then puts it back*
Ahhhh am tired but my minds in overdrive. I have got a random excitment about my trip to america (even if its forever away). Also am trying to make the negative thoughts about my friend go away. |
*leaves a hug by 1ofmany incase they decide they do want one afterall*
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thank you.
Wish I could offer you all some hugs right now, but atm I'm clock watching, if I'm gonna hear from eoghan tonight it'll be in the next 23minutes, he never contacts me after half 7, its too late over there. so I need to hang on a bit longer, I can't F*** up and then have him phone striaght after, I'd never be able to forgive myself, i don't think I could lie to him. |
ooh distraction, where and when are you going to america then 1ofmany? Lets try and think about something positive....
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thanks for hollering....I was wondering if i'd be safer in there but I don't want to get in your way if you need the space and stuff.....I'll get back to you once half seven has been and gone and see how I'm feeling then.
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In october! We are already preparing (its with some people from my martial arts group) its going to be fun but training is hard.
I am going to partner lots of people for self defence routines (i attack and they do a technique but its done to look "real") i partnered three in the europene tournement and 2 got golds! I just like jumping and spinning and flipping around :P |
cool, sounds good. I did Karate when i was little....well not that little, about 10 or 11, but then my physical health problems became too much and I had to give up. It was good at getting out frustration.
Anyway, sounds good to combine travelling with an activity that you enjoy and are obviously very good at. Go you! *is amazed at self for actually sounding normal for a brief moment* |
6minutes......
*stares at phone* |
hmmm, just seen my clock is different to the clock when posting....so 9minutes? *goes back to staring at phone*
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*offers hugs while ur waitng*
sorry not postin much.. stuff in my head |
do you wanna talk about stuff in your head? it might make the time pass quicker for me? Though you'll have to excuse me if i don't reply promptly just incase the phone does ring.
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Quote:
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same old stuff in my head just trying to get me to do things i shouldnt. same old. same old. same old. if he doesnt ring he might ring tomorrow, it doesnt mean anything, they might just not be able to cos of where they are staying or something.
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ahh, well when I used to act and teach drama, I always used to say that nerves in that type of situation are good, its your adrenaline pupming and will make you perfom better, so its ok to be a bit nervous, I'm sure it'll be a great experience though no matter the outcome of the torniment.....though its always extra nice to be recognised and rewarded for your efforts.
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the only other time that we went this long without contact was because he was "dug in" for 3 days under constant enemy fire and was awaiting air support. He said he'd had bullets whizz pass his head and then was "danger close" when they dropped the bombs. So now my mind is racing and imagining all the horrid things that he's going through....I just want to know that he's back at his fob where he is slightly more safe.
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yeh...but i think i am most looking forward to shopping and just having a laugh with the other :P i hope i will be ok for the trip...
*cookies all round* |
:crying: phones not rung, not got a text, nothing, I'm gutted and worried and all other crazy mixture of emotions....i've got goosebumps....
*goes out to smoking shelter yet again* |
lotso assorted hugs and comfort blankets
i cant stay online right now i need to go be safe elswhere sorry |
I'm sorry horizon surfer that i couldn't help you stay safe, i hope I'm not too draining on anyone. I really am sorry guys, I just didn't know where else to turn.
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:crying: thanks, that made me cry, so glad your shirt will dry. I'm so fed up of crying today, I'm so scared to move away from this computer again incase I cut cos I know i'll only feel better for a little while if I do.
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sorry hayley youre not draining or anything i just strugglign atm to *hugs all round* i hope you can feel better soon.
thankyou mors certa and you can have the hugs anytime theyre not mine really theyre anyones. i want a dark soft room at normal termpearate and wish it existed sorry |
*does some one handed cartwheals then tries an elbows one and fails* damn need more practise.
If mors certa runs out of shoulders i am hear to be leand on too (no more cartwheals tonight!). *holds out a box of super soft slightly scented tissues* |
*Locks the cuboard and tries to swallow the key...changes mind and throws it in the lack that convinantly appeard out the window*
yes my mind is random i use the portal to get here so wouldnt know about valet! |
I don't know about the valet service either, mean doctors took away my driving licence.....well not mean, sensible, cos I have NCS which means I have blackouts, obv not good to happen whilst driving. So I came here on my free bus pass that I got as a consolation prize for loosing my licence.
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i have a young persons railcard it means they make running away even cheaper. sometimes the world does like young people.
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ah, i'm not a young person, so can't afford to travel by rail, its ok, I get to whereever I need to go on the buses, it just takes a very very very long time.
*musters strength to give horizon surfer a little snuggle* *exhausted goes back to lean on mors certa's shoulder* |
i've decided to try and eat something to see if it makes me feel any better. I've got sainsburys basics cornflakes, wow, how exciting is my life, anyway, its a big box, so let me know if any of you want some.
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im eating baked beans on toast without the toast. our livs are equally exciting. and pls dont waste energy on me :( *gives you lots of energy*
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OHhhhhh mix them with some ice cream! Very nice!
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Ack i meant the cornflakes and ice cream not the beans....
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I don't have any ice cream, but will bear that in mind next time I go food shopping.
Horizon surfer, I'm not wasting energy on you, I'm using it wisely, surely its better to use my energy to hug you and eat cornflakes than it is for me to go and get my blade? |
definately! cornflakes are ace. though i prefer frosties. i think i may actually buy some next time i go shopping. plus if u run out of milk you can eat them dry.
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We are all here to give each other energy and hope.
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i'm not dissapearing, i've just got to pop into reality for a mo and take my rubbish and recyling out....
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I just had rice pudding then a cup of tea and am now chewing gum. Ahhhh the chewing eases the mind.
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i possibly realised my headache may have been hunger related. oddly its helped so yay. I agree chewing eases the mind in some situations. *takes a variety of food to the padded cell for mors certa*
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I am going to go to read now as i have been staring at screen for far to long. Stay safe everyone i will probly be back 2moz.
Love for all. |
bye for now 1ofmany, thanks for all your support today. You stay safe too.
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*offers around sainsburys basics chocolate chip cookies*
well now I've started eating there doesn't seem a point in stopping right now...... *whispers sheepishly* I need a distracting from the stinging sensation of TCP......sorry guys |
how are you doing hayley? and anyone who's still here?
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Im..gonna curl up in yonder corner....and try stick my heart together....again :/
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*offers hugs* do you like quotes? I like quotes. I get *lost* in quotes.. its a good distraction for me, reading what other ppl have said and yelling my disagreements at the screen or saving them or whatever..
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I LOVE quotes....I have a little book of quotes that i see and like...
"as if you could kill time without injuring eternity..." |
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