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-   -   Getting deeper not better (http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=255695)

Alexlycan 21-03-2019 03:28 AM

Getting deeper not better
 
Lately writing has gotten harder and harder. The only times I cant write is when im about to go though a really really bad time. Every time I try to get better I just cut deeper, and now my whole family is about to find out becuase we are goimg on a trip to cuba and I cant wear pants and sweaters the entire time. Im going to be with out my number 1 support this weekend for she has more import things to do then deal with me. However I dont know how im going to deal with this, I feel somthing big comming and I cant stop it. I cant hide my cuts and scars much longer and I cant be alive much longer.

Stellata 21-03-2019 09:28 AM

It sounds like you need some medical help, which is hard if you're hiding it from your family. Would it be such a bad thing if they found out?

Natsy2512 21-03-2019 11:33 PM

I get you don't want your family to find out. I felt the same 12 years ago when i first started self harming. I actively avoided going on holiday with my family and the thought of them finding out horrified me. But they did find out and in the end it was the only reason I stopped. This time round it is slightly different but sometimes it isn't as bad as you think it will be. I hope you get the help and support you need

Alexlycan 21-03-2019 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Natsy2512 (Post 4214094)
I get you don't want your family to find out. I felt the same 12 years ago when i first started self harming. I actively avoided going on holiday with my family and the thought of them finding out horrified me. But they did find out and in the end it was the only reason I stopped. This time round it is slightly different but sometimes it isn't as bad as you think it will be. I hope you get the help and support you need

I cant tell my family. My family has almost found out once and they were all ready to send me away becuase im to much for them to handle but luckly the only checked my arms whitch had healed over. If they were to see my arms now I dont know what they would do.

Alexlycan 21-03-2019 11:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellata (Post 4213910)
It sounds like you need some medical help, which is hard if you're hiding it from your family. Would it be such a bad thing if they found out?


I cant let them find out they would send me off or use it aginst me in some way. My family hates me and they want me gone.

Stellata 22-03-2019 10:13 AM

What's happening with your family? Can you tell us some more?

Alexlycan 22-03-2019 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellata (Post 4214109)
What's happening with your family? Can you tell us some more?

My mother kicked me out some time ago and I started living with my grandmother things started to get better but soon took a turn for the worst. My mother likes to angery me and make me cry (she has said this herself) and whenever she is around somthing always happens. My father is out of the picture he was abusive to both me and my mother and I feel he is partly to blam for my mother actions. Not to mention my mother is a drug dealer and I havent seen her sober in 10 years. My mother is emotionly abusive and tho I know longer live with her she blams me for a major of her problems. My aunt has been getting her son to recored me and take photos of me in attempt to get somthing to use to kick me out. My entire family is convinced that I am doing drugs and having sex and that im always getting into trouble and that im the afual kid. I have done nothing but my very best for them. My whole family takes self harm and suicide very seriously for alot of people in my family have attempted suicide and a few succseded. My younger sister cut her self once and it was nothing more then a scratch and my mother saw it and my sister was gone for 3 weeks becuase no one in my family could hadle the stress of my 10 year old sister. If my family saw even one of my cuts I dont know how long I would be gone for or if they would alow me to come back at all. This is just a brif of my family

Stellata 22-03-2019 07:58 PM

That's a lot to deal with. Are you still with your Grandmother? It sounds like there's a history of a lot of distress in your family. A lot is at stake. I can only imagine how frightening that might be.

Alexlycan 22-03-2019 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stellata (Post 4214169)
That's a lot to deal with. Are you still with your Grandmother? It sounds like there's a history of a lot of distress in your family. A lot is at stake. I can only imagine how frightening that might be.

Yes I am

Buttons. 23-03-2019 05:20 PM

What's going on today lovely?


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