Anyone around at all?

*hugs everyone*
We have the snow now :)

*Hugs Kitty*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Ian* Thats really good news!! :-)

*Hugs Nicole*

*Waves to Owen*

Today is a new day.
A better day? We'll see.
I don't know what I'd do without you my
Wardies *Hugs*
Love Ya'll.

holy crap I hate dissociating grrrrrrrr. hi everyone -hugs mark back-

-hugs anyone else who would like a hug- hows you guys doing?

*waves to Owen*

Oohhh Snow Nicole :) *Hugs*

*Hugs Kitty*

-waves to owen- -looks at mark- you didn't answer my question on here...

how are you owen? Nicole?

Sorry Kitty , Still low and waking up .
I guess different you need to take each cut as an individual wound that it is , If it's stopped bleeding I would take off the bandage at night to let the air get to it so it can heal , when in the shower DON'T scrub it , wash around it to avoid making it bleed any more . Thats just what I would do . Leave it unbandaged at night so long as the bleeding has stopped.
I'm not a medical expert and this is just what I would do , Please look at the first aid forum and ask there , they might help like Laura (I think it was Laura) said .

-hugs mark- sorry to hear you are still low. Hope you feel better soon. Unfortunately I won't be able to be on much longer...my husband is complaining he wants me to come to bed so I had to take my sleeping pill :( Please PM me mark if you need or want to. Don't hesitate. You are always here for me, I will be there for you, too.

Thanks for the advice. I did post it in the first aid forum a few hours ago haven't had any response yet. Will see if they respond later. It sucks living in the US when this is mainly a UK site. lol.

Kitty *Hugs* I'm feeling low , already trying to figure out what to eat for dinner so as not to panic about it later , I Self Injured on my leg last night , I've simple almost run out of room on my arms . I didn't choose to have depression, Sick of it , Sick of feeling so low , Sick of feeling like a burden to all you guys , I just want to cry but I can't . *Sigh* Sorry , I was really telling myself I would be more positive today but thats just not happened :S

Nobody chooses to have depression Mark. Am sure nobody thinks you want it either. I'm sorry you cut last night, please look after your wound(s). You're not a burden and don't be so hard on yourself for not being more positive. You can't force these things, they take practice.... *hugs*

*Spots and Hugs Helen* How are you?
EDIT:- Hey we posted together , sorry Helen , I withdraw my "spots" but leave my "Hugs"

-hugs mark tight- I'm sorry. I totally know how you feel can relate so much. You definitely aren't a burden, mark. If you are a burden, then I dont know what I am because I bitch more than you do. By the way, for the record, I really dont mean to do that, either. I can't help it. I really hope you feel better, mark. You are amazingly awesome like others have said. You have helped me so much I can't begin to describe. I wish I was able to help people like you do. Did you dress your wound(s)? Take care of yourself buddy like I said feel free to PM me any time if I am not on when you PM I will respond as soon as I can. -hugs again-

Hey helen how are you doing? -hugs-

*hugs Mark & Kitty*

I'm okay. We've tons of snow & more's coming down :D

Sorry one more rant for the night. I have to get this off my chest before I go to bed.

Some asshole really upset me on facebook tonight. I had posted a status about annoying people posting pro animal crap all day long...don't get me wrong, I love animals, but when people post crap like that ALL DAY its annoying! Anyway this guy was on my friends list for a facebook game I play and he posted something that really hurt me. I would go into explaining it but I am so tired I'm just gunna cheat and copy and paste :D



-sighs- I'm going to bed now can't stay up my husband is bitching. Take care everyone, if you need me, PM me. xx

Unfortunately Kitty people will make jokes about things that are personal to us or offend us, regardless of whether they know or not. Unlikely to censor themselves too, they don't have to. But if they are a proper friend, they wouldn't do it around you. If that makes sense?

Like a close friend of mine has a habit of joking about rape, knows it really upsets me and makes an immense effort not to do it around me. I'd like it if she stopped altogether but I can't force her to....

*Hugs all*

Kitty, try not to listen to him, some people are just idiots who have nothing better to do with their lives than upset others. I've had several experiences with those people, and Mark had one on the forums a couple of weeks back.

Hey Helen :) It's snowing a little here too, but I don't want it to because I'm going to London on the train tomorrow and I will never get there if it snows too much. It can snow all it likes Christmas eve when I no longer have anywhere to go.

School's out for Christmas now and it feels weird. How can it be so close to Christmas? I actually like school, it's the only place I have ever really belonged and I feel accepted there. I don't want to leave and I have no idea what I am gonna do on my last day. I will flood the entire school with my tears, and I don't cry in front of people.

How is everyone else today?

*hugs Lia* Hope you get to London safely. Got any plans? :D

Ignore That person Kitty , some people are just not worth getting upset over like Lia said I had one person upset me and it wasn't worth my energy to be upset.*Hugs*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Lia* I hope you are able to get to London okay:)

OH Nuts Owen :S Why are you having trouble sleeping do you think?

Hmmm , Owen Could you make yourself some warm milk to drink , That might help?

I'm going to go to bed , just for a little while .

I hope you're managing to sleep, Owen.

*Hugs Lindsay* How are you today?

Hi everyone, how are you all today?

*Hugs Sam Mark and Lindsey*

How's everyone?

I'm alright, just annoyed since there's a good layer of snow outside and it's falling fast and heavy. Usually, I am a child at heart and love snow, but not when I am meant to be getting a train all the way to the city tomorrow. I can't get there any other way and by the looks of things, they won't be running tomorrow, which means £35 down the drain and a good weekend screwed. I was meant to be going to the theatre to see Ghost Stories. And today, I was meant to be going to lunch with friends, but she cancelled without an apology. So my good weekend has turned into jack (nothing). *Sigh* oh well. It will soon be Christmas.

*Hugs Lia* Maybe you can get your Train money back ?

*Hugs Sam* How are you?

I've just had my Neighbours 16 year old son in , made tea for him , His Mum dropped him off and he walked up to his Dad's/My Neighbour but My Neighbour isnt in and his son wasn't wearing and kind of thick jacket or gloves and it's cold here so I asked if he wanted to wait in my flat. He has just gone out to find out if my neighbour/ his Dad is in now .

Well My Neighbours back and has his son in:) He could have come back to say his Dad was back but in the end after he was gone for a few minutes I went looking for him because he just vanished heh , Oh well all sorted .

*hugs* Lia ~~ sorry to hear about your friend today, the least they could have done was apologise and I really hope your day tomorrow isnt ruined.

*hugs* Mark, Im fine thanks. Got a bad back and the painkillers madem e feel icky so won't be taking them again. Cant be drowsy whilst looking after 4 kids! haha
That was nice of you to let that lad wait in your flat, its too cold to be waiting outside!

*Spots and HUUUUUUGS Oliver* How are you Oliver?

*Hugs Sam's Bad Back* Is there another kind of pain killer you could take?

*sends big cuddles for all* Am busy this afternoon doing stuff (mostly tidy related lol) as my Nan wouldn't let us (me and my Mum) go visit her. Plus my room really does need tidying & stuff =/

*hugs ward*

*Hugs Felicia and Helen*

I'm kinda used to people letting me down without being sorry. No one's ever sorry, because I don't have feelings you see. I put on a front so much, they think I don't give a toss. I don't have emotions and I'm not worth an apology. The odd thing is, I actually don't mind being cancelled on. It's annoying, but people have other things to do, I accept that. It's that they can't even manage a polite 'sorry' that I do mind. Anyway, end of rant.

My other friend is a babe. She paid the extra money to insure our tickets, so if we can't get there, we should get our money back.

Sam, have you tried normal painkillers? Or are they not strong enough?

*Hugs Helen* You're a busy bee :)

*Hugs Lia* Yey for getting your money back !:)

*Hugs Felicia* How are you hun?

*hugs Mark*
I'm debating boycotting the celebration of Christmas.
I don't like this unfair splitting of holidays my family has put on me.
I don't want to have to celebrate with my stepfamily instead of my actual family.
It's not okay. at all.

My Mum on Wednesday ish said to me How much longer are you going to be on the Antabuse for, you've been on it longer than anyone said....

I saw Hannah L had Wine yesterday and it struck me how totally normal it is for people of our age (30) to treat themselves to a glass of wine or a beer every so often.

I am low and a little alcohol would help, short term , and I can't keep cutting , I cut because I feel Low, I drink and it numbs it down so ...I don't cut , and I'm not talking about getting totally pissed , just comfortably numb , that "Glow"

So I went out and bought some alcohol , I can't drink it yet as I was taking Antabuse up until yesterday morning but after Christmas I'll give Drinking responsibly another shot I think, I'll make it my new years resolution perhaps .

*Hugs Felicia* That does sound unfair , Can you see both ends of your Family perhap , if not both on Christmas Day one on Boxing day?

I'm already spending Christmas Eve with my grandparents on my dad's side.
And I was supposed to see my grandparents on my mom's side Christmas Day, and mom was supposed to come to their house too. But she called me and said Christmas was at her house, so I asked my grandparents and they threw a fit and said I had to choose, they don't take substitute holidays, and my mom's said the same thing.
I just won't go anywhere, damn it. I'm not going to be the cause of this fight.

Awh *Hugs Felicia* I'm sorry hun, but you are NOT the cause of this fight no way.

Mark, is that really a wise idea? :| You don't seem to able to use it responsibility. Yes alcohol DOES numb it, but also makes depression worse. If you're not careful and didn't have anti-abuse, you'd be drinking it an awful lot by sounds of things. God I'm trying to say helpful things but it's coming out all wrong & nasty >.>

Felicia, that sounds really **** honey :( *hugs*

Lia, glad your friend got insurance on the tickets. I might get that for when I buy tickets to see my bestie in Feb as it could still snow & everything :S Sucks that people don't apologies when cancelling :( They should do it even if they have the idea that you have no emotions or whatever when you do...*hugs*

*Hugs Helen* You didn't come over as nasty hun :) I just , I know there's a chance I'll not be able to control it but I just feel so crap ALL . THE . TIME . Ack! I don't know what else to do. Thanks for replying though Helen:)

I've just decorated the Christmas tree all on my tod, but I do feel rather festive now :)

Felicia, that sucks about familes. You shouldn't have to chose, it's not fair on you. But I don't like the sound of you just spending Christmas on your own. What about your brother? Are you seeing him at all?

Mark, i agree with Helen. I'm not sure it's a good idea. I tell myself I will do something sensibly, just one more cut, it won't hurt, just carry those pills to feel secure, you don't need to take them...when really it's a problem in itself that I even need that 'one cut' or that bottle.

*Hugs everyone*

*Spots and gives special hugs to Kitty*

I'm just going to crawl back into bed until 5pm.........:(

*Hugs Lia* Thanks .

*cuddles everyone* I got some shoes to match my dress today :) Alas they're heeled sandals so whilst going from home to my nans I'll be in big wellies :p

Oh Mark I hope you're okay. x