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Keep breathing Chloe.
*hugs helen* *hugs ally* |
Hey everyone. Stay strong and hang in there.
*leaves love for all* |
*cuddles Chloe* hang in there sweetie, breath, I'll breath with you (God only knows I need to be doing it too)*snuggles*
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Cut loads last night. Feeling okay today, have a meds review on Friday.
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My husband told me to go to the beach today because I'm so blue. He wants me to change my routine and get away from the computer. So, I'll take my swim suit to the meeting and change into it afterwards. I had all kinds of excuses to not go. Philip seldom gives me orders though.
A lot of what I'm doing right now is just duty. Expectations. And of course, I'm missing a friend. Yes, I am codependent. I still miss talking to that person, selfish and needy as it may be. As I think about working on my jacket I think how bad it is that I have so much time to work on something for myself. I want to be earning money. To be of service to others. Nope, I'm making something for myself that I may never wear. The fabric looked nice when I bought it. Now it looks girly gangster. So not my style. |
Maybe the beach will do some good?
If that makes you selfish nd needy then I am just as bad if not worse! Also there is nothing wrong with doing things for yourself occasionaly. Stay safe and hope you have a nice time at the beach. |
Have a nice time Susan :)
*leaves hugs* *crawls into her dark hidden corner and waits* |
Quote:
Im amazed...people noticed I'd gone...:/ hummm... I feel abit low :( |
I've had physiotherapy and occupational therapy today, so I'm rahter wiped out and lacking the brain power to stay on line, so I thought I'd just snuggle up in the corner and be here in spirit to offer you all comforting snuggles. Hang on in there everyone. I hope things start getting better for you soon.
*leaves random box of joke toys in ward to hopefully make people smile* |
To those that have been concerned, thank you, I am okay. To those that have not been concerned, thank you too, I am okay anyway. :-)
Just got out, went home, showered and came into the office. Stupid, yes, necessary for my sanity, yes. Had to make an appearance, see how much crap had piled up, and see if I could handle being here. Little sketchy, but will survive a few hours and then go home after I am sure the family is all there. Susan, I am sorry, my reply to you was not intended to be blaming, it was meant to be a thank you. Yes you pushed, and yes you pushed hard. If it had not been for you pushing, I would not have had the courage to look my wife in the eyes, and make her read what I had written as a good bye note, and she would not have called her family to come watch the kids so that she could escort me directly to the hospital with no trains in between. (She does have a heart in there somewhere, I have just put a big gap between her and myself because of the depression) But I digress, Susan, THANK YOU!!! that is what my prior message meant, really and truly, I would not be alive today if you had not pushed, my kids thank you, and my wifey thanks you. Dearest niece, thank you as well, encouragement was needed and you gave it to me, thank you so much Dearest daughter, can you forgive me and give me a hug? Everyone else that had to put up with me on my way down, thank you, I am sure that I am forgetting people on here, but bear with me, I am extremely shaky being back on the outside, absolutely hate being locked up, hated being restrained, hated being without the comfort of a blade, but I have been 24 hours without self harm. (No, it is best that you don't ask how I managed to SI while locked up, the nurses did not appreciate the creative use of everyday objects and I will not share) |
*sleeps in corner*
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Jeff, so good to have you back and that you're doing better. I too am doing better, hopefully I won't need your shoulders for leaning on and crying over again anytime soon, but maybe just for supportive friendship I could just lean on your shoulder whilst I sleep? I'd offer to return the favour, but my shoulders are a bit boney!
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*checks, thump thump, yep, the shoulders seem to have some function to them again,* please feel free to lean or cry on them, not sure that they are back to full strength for pounding on though, those restraints were a bit uncomfortable, but lean away.
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Jeff its good to hear from you! Draw strength from us as we can from you!
*gives up on rubbish metaphors and hugs insted* |
*leans gently on jeffs shoulder* Thank you, night night.
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*sigh* Jeff I am so glad you are out and doing better... Were I able to give in to tears when they want to fall I would have cried when I heard from you *massive hugs* gosh I was worried and missed you terribly *snuggles up to her beloved Uncle*
Mmm, yes, your shoulder is still quite effective, and thank goodness... My origionsl intent in coming here was to curl up in my corner and stare blankly ahead but you are much more comfortable and comforting than my corner :-) |
I wish I could cry
*hides away* |
I am glad that my shoulders are useful again, thank you all so much, sorry if they shake a bit, still a little uneasy about this freedom thiing. Hated the inpatient lockdown, but it was somewhat safe
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*leaves special hugs for Helen cos she rocks*
*kicks Ally until she tells what is wrong* *introduces self to Jeff....* Hi, I'm Emma! *waves* Glad your back out x *leaves hugs and brownies for everyone else and apologises for poor responses tonight and recently* xxxxxxxxx |
*POUNCES ON ALEXX cos I missed her post and I MISSED HER TOOO*
AAAALLLLEEXXXX!!!!! *hugs*** |
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