Helen wants me to check in with you guys every day :) so tomorrow... you're tomorrow? I dunno, just pm me when you get on ryl :)

Since everyone needs hugs and cuddles tonight
*curls up with what pillows and blankets haven't been taken and makes an inviting nest to share with everyone else in the psych ward*

Please, join me. I'm going throug something I can't talk about. And I need to know you're with me. I'll talk about it when it is done. Honest.

*cuddles* I am here with you. Always.

I'm going to be up late tonight working and my husband is doing some of my job for me. I'm so weary. I've been triggered today. Just let the marks show. Show how pathetic i am. How codependent i am, how my choices are wrong.

My husband is doing part of my job for me tonight. after he worked 10 hours getting stuff done for a deadline tomorrow. Now he's getting stuff done for my deadline on wednesday.

That i'm going to be up until midnight and then not get enough sleep. I'm seeing the nutritionist in the morning and will tell her that i've been so busy taking care of someone that i'm doing stuff i shouldn't and not doing what I should. But I can't not help.

But I don't know what's right and what isn't. How much is too much and how little is too little.

Please fellow vets, help me out with this? Help me so i can help someone else? Please?

Are you happy doing what you're doing? If you're not then it's too much. if it's stressing you to the point where youc an't function it's too much. Ring you client and ask if you can extend the deadline. RELAX!!!!!!!! you gotta breathe sweetheart. it's very important. Be honest with the nutritionist... that's all they ask. *cuddles*

Have a great time Helen!

Having a rough time at the moment, woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep. Feeling ****, and Beth is very strong at the moment. Might go to A&E if this continues.

*hugs zowie*

Have fun helen if i don't speak to u this morning!!

yeah that is the point :)

i'm with you susan, with whatever it is.

my psych has put me on a behaviour chart to try and discourage bad stuff. she doesnt get that i want to cause myself pain, i want to ruin certain parts of me, i dont care about long term damage, cos i dont want to be alive :(

*cuddles chloe* :-( that's no good

*hugs everyone*
Sorry I haven't been here for a while, I have nothing to say anymore, I dont really know where I am or what i'm doing.
I went to the doctor this morning cause I know I cant get better without medication but I have this complete phobia of it and I dont know what to do anymore I feel trapped. Not sure going to see her was the right thing to do I think I said too much she got straight on the phone to my cpn who wasn't avaliable and left a message saying I needed help urgently, which yes I do, but now i'm scared, scared that i'll lose control of the situation. urgh why is this so hard, I know what I need to do I just cant bring myself to do it, why cant I take the help I so desperatly need? So now here I am panicing cause I know someone is going to phone anytime, **** what have I done.
*snuggles down and hides in the corner*

*Sending you all loads of hugs*

I'm not staying but thought i'd let you know i did go to the doctor's this morning, but it was kinda a waste of time, still don't know whats wrong but should find out in a few days once i've had some stupid test done, but i feel ill today and i'm so pissed off amongst other things so i'm not staying online sorry :(

xxEmmaxx

AHAA!!! I'm so stupid :P

oooohhh...guess what guyyysss?!





I have a new fringe ^_^
Probably not the most exciting news in the world but hey-ho..

Niiiice fringe Alexx.

I'm waiting for the people at A&E to call me back, I just can't cope anymore.

Thankyou :]

Did they say when they were gonna call hun?
*cuddles you*

The woman from EIP phoned, said that A&E phoned her.
She's coming over in about 15mins, but I don't think she can help me. I want to OD so bad, I might end up doing something stupid and ODing on painkillers. Which is stupid. stupid stupid stupid.
Why do I feel this way? I hate myself so much it hurts.

I know sweetheart :(
It hurts and its awful...but stay strong ok?
You've been doing well and it wont be this way forever..

Im sorry...I wish I could help you better :(
*hugs*

Cultural note for those who don't know; a lei is something they have in Hawaii, a necklace made of flowers. We also have the plumeria family.

I did not SI last night. For me, feeling something then acting on it are two different things. So I still have six months.

Bless my husband. Even though he wasn't expecially effective, he was helpful. He kept talking to me. He pointed out when I had thread tangles, which I can hear when they happen. The bobbin sounds weird when it does.

All that is left to do is phone the client and trim the threads. I can trim threads while I sit here. It is not the first time. He needs these for a party on Saturday; no extensions.

My friend and I did work things out. I will tell the nurtrititionist the truth, including the bowl of cereal after midnight.

Thank you for putting up with me. *grabs blanket and pillow and goes to one side of the room to curl up and sleep.* If I snore, just ask me to turn over and i'll snore at the wall of the tent instead of into it deafening y'all.

*hugs everyone*

I'm liking the fringe Alexx :)
Hope you get some sleep, Susan.

Haven't got much I can say at the moment, so I'm going to just sit in a corner for a bit.