NO.

i wanted this to be a positive thread, not people moaning about how it uncurable, its really not helping me. if you dont have hope then you dont have anything at all.

An its not uncurable, you may not be able to cure it but the symtoms fade after so many years and when you get older. But the more you belive it the more down it will just make you.

it will only define you as a person if you let it.

Fine
I deleted it.
I wasn't moaning, I am actually at the end of my tether.
Guess even a support website doesn't want to know

look dont get sarcy, this is a support site and people are willing to support. But having such a negative attitide doesnt help and im not in a great mood.

If its such a problems then what meds/therapy do you do? Has any actully said TO YOUR FACE that its uncurable?

Perhaps it would be better to have two BPD threads - one for more hope and recovery centred conversation, and one for more 'honest' sharing, whatever that needs to be.

I've only just been diagnosed with BPD, so I don't really know anything about it, but it seems to me that people in different stages of 'recovery' have greatly different needs, and perhaps these aren't best served by one thread.

Tell me if its a stupid idea, I'm new and I don't really know what I'm talking about.

And I'm feeling rotten today - I'm going cold-turkey from Venlafaxine, and the withdrawls are awful :(

Also, I was wondering about the 'Anger' thing with BPD. I was discussing it with my Mum, and I didn't think I had any anger issues - I've never hit anyone, or raised my voice. She wondered if it was more of a misdirected anger problem I have - I never feel anger at other people - only towards myself. If someone upsets me, I automatically feel its my fault and punish myself. Any thoughts?

Yes I have had it said to my face that it's incurable.
I see a psychologist and a psychiatrist.
I take sertraline.

I realise now that this is YOUR thread and what you say goes. And ok you might not be in a great mood, but neither am I.I'm really struggling and it really doesn't help to be told that I'm moaning. I shall stay out of here in future

it is not my thread, it is for everyone.

and i have had the same said to me before, it isnt nice at all, but i choose not to belive it, because if i do then i may as well give up.

That does make sense.
I'm sorry, I should have thought twice before posting so negative on a communal thread.
And I'm sorry for getting everyones backs up. I hope your all ok and when I'm a bit better perhaps I shall have something positive to contribute here

Do you all feel emotionally unstable? I mean, I don't feel like a crazy person. My thoughts/feelings/emotions all feel completely rational and sane to me. What does that mean, am I in denial? Am I emotionally unstable but don't realise it?

Yes, that does make sense, I do tend to suffer from 'black and white' feelings. I dunno. Just feel a bit confused with it all. I feel like I've been told that I'm a bad person :(

i think with me its more the mood swings, because its really noticalble. Like a few days ago me and my friends where playing hide and seek in the dark and after we finished i just completlty snapped and went in a bad mood and i dont even know why.

Trace, that makes sense.
You can look at it from my point too. Because I got criticised a little bit I flew off the handle and felt like everyone hated me. My reactio was disproportionatte to the criticism I recieed. Ha guess your bound to get problems in a thread full of people who are emotionally unstable.

Yeah i think so too, ive already aplogized for what i said.

This thread for me is ment to be a place where we can talk about our illness, the problems we have, how it affects us, and the recovery side to it as well. i guess it is a place where we can moan and not moan

:)

Hi, I'm 24 and male. I'm sorry if this long winded, but I really do need some advice, help or anything that can make me understand what has happened with my life over the last few months...here goes..please bear with me....

I met a girl in January this year, who by all means was everything I wanted in someone, kind, down to earth, intelligent, understanding and very beautiful. She was just amazing. She lived with her Dad at his house, her mother died suddenly when she was 3 with breast cancer. She had recently come out a relationship of four years with a guy who I was told was a nasty piece of work, who hit her daily, took drugs and alcohol excessively and took her confidence away at any cost. They would re-current fights with each other and terrible rows. She told me she always needed someone around, someone to hold and feel appreciated. She mentioned that she had regular mood swings and I was to leave her alone when this was to happen. She said she was quite an irrational person and fiesty....I didn't really think much of this at the time.

Everyday I was bombarded with txts and phone calls from her, saying that she adored me, thought I was the best thing that happened to her and said she never ever wanted to lose me. She would phone every hour god sended from work or home and was very fearful that I would leave her. She made every effort to be with me in person. Obviously, I found this very flattering and was un alarmed by her feelings towards me and the constant contact she had with me.......

She fell unexpectedly pregnant in early February and this was a great shock. I am nearly 25 and she was 24 so we had a big decision to make. After much discussion, we started to make a go of it and start a family, we fell in love and everything was so rosey. We made plans for her to move in and arrangments for when the baby was born.

After about 4 weeks things started to slide in the relationship, intially I thought it was hormones on her behalf, then I realised there were far more deep rooted problems than that.

Within a space of one week, she decided that she wanted to do all this alone, I mean the baby. She didn't want to know me. She began drinking alcohol whilst pregnant, started accusing me of having an affair with my ex, saying she thought I was annoying, irrating and just felt she couldn't be with me at all. I was so confused and didn't understand why she felt this way. I tried to ask her why, but she just said she didn't have the answers to my questions and one night whilst staying at my house she up and left with no explanation. From then on, it has been pure hell..........

We went to visit my parents in Devon, and she ended going out of her way to get drunk, assaulted me and accused me of all sorts of things, affairs, domestic violence until one point I had to restrain her to prevent herself from getting injured, she was erractic and violent.

After Devon, she was very appologetic an said she was never the most rational thinker. She said it was all her fault and could we have a fresh start. This lasted 5 days, until I went out with some friends on a night out. The next day she stopped speaking to me, became aggressive and I never heard from her for a few days.

I approached her mid-wife with my concerns asked if she could speak to her, to try and establish if there were any problems she could help with. This just made things worse, she accused me of going behind her back and said I had made things worse. Again she accused me of being a B*STARD and said I incapable of acting decent and I was immature.

She was just a different person. She slowed down the contact with me, stopped txting, calling showing absoulutly no emotion with me whatsoever. I continued to say I was in love with her, but it was like talking to a brick wall, no emotion, no feelings. She was nasty to me, saying I was arrogant and shallow but did not back her opinion up with any evidence.

When it came to talking about the baby, it was hers or no way, she wanted to be the way she wanted only, wanted her own place with her own stuff. It was like she didn't want me involved at all. She started saying things like she couldn't trust me and everybody always lets her down. She was paranoid and if I did see her in person, one day she was great with me and the next she would be so moody and aggressive and anything I said she had to say the opposite cause an argument. I just didn't understand this. I had done nothing to make her react in this way to me.

I lost contact with her for a while, but i managed to gain contact with her again for her dating scan. At the scan she was very pleasant, said she was happy for me to be involved in the babbies life and so on. I thought things were back on track and everything was just a a blip. It was now early April. I continued to recieve random txts from her, some would be nice but cold and then others would be horrible and aggressive, saying she felt really depressed and really empty and felt sick all the time. If I did speak to her on the phone, It only take for me to say something so trivial amd she would explode on the phone and put it down on me.

To summarise the rest, she ended up going to see her ex one night after getting herself drunk, he assaulted her and she fell down a set of stairs. She ended up in Hospital. She has continued to binge drink on a weekly basis, binge eat and I had suspicions she was sleeping around.


From here on, my nightmare continues along with hers it seems. The final time I saw her was about two weeks ago and again after a really good few nite with her the Monday before, a few nights before, she came to my house in an evil mood. She just literally bullied me, swore at me and accused me of being horrible.If I touched her in anyway she became aggressive and irritable. She eventually left that nite and in the morning I called her to say that I thought it would be a good idea talk to a professional, that I would support her and be there. She put the phone down and again I received txts saying she wished she wasn't having a baby with someone has horrid as me, said I was self obsessed and shallow and said I would be hearing from the CSA when the baby is born.

I now feel so so depressed. I just dont know what to do. After researching BPD, I feel she certainly has a good chance of having this.

Hi, I'm 24 and male. I'm sorry if this long winded, but I really do need some advice, help or anything that can make me understand what has happened with my life over the last few months...here goes..please bear with me....

I met a girl in January this year, who by all means was everything I wanted in someone, kind, down to earth, intelligent, understanding and very beautiful. She was just amazing. She lived with her Dad at his house, her mother died suddenly when she was 3 with breast cancer. She had recently come out a relationship of four years with a guy who I was told was a nasty piece of work, who hit her daily, took drugs and alcohol excessively and took her confidence away at any cost. They would re-current fights with each other and terrible rows. She told me she always needed someone around, someone to hold and feel appreciated. She mentioned that she had regular mood swings and I was to leave her alone when this was to happen. She said she was quite an irrational person and fiesty....I didn't really think much of this at the time.

Everyday I was bombarded with txts and phone calls from her, saying that she adored me, thought I was the best thing that happened to her and said she never ever wanted to lose me. She would phone every hour god sended from work or home and was very fearful that I would leave her. She made every effort to be with me in person. Obviously, I found this very flattering and was un alarmed by her feelings towards me and the constant contact she had with me.......

She fell unexpectedly pregnant in early February and this was a great shock. I am nearly 25 and she was 24 so we had a big decision to make. After much discussion, we started to make a go of it and start a family, we fell in love and everything was so rosey. We made plans for her to move in and arrangments for when the baby was born.

After about 4 weeks things started to slide in the relationship, intially I thought it was hormones on her behalf, then I realised there were far more deep rooted problems than that.

Within a space of one week, she decided that she wanted to do all this alone, I mean the baby. She didn't want to know me. She began drinking alcohol whilst pregnant, started accusing me of having an affair with my ex, saying she thought I was annoying, irrating and just felt she couldn't be with me at all. I was so confused and didn't understand why she felt this way. I tried to ask her why, but she just said she didn't have the answers to my questions and one night whilst staying at my house she up and left with no explanation. From then on, it has been pure hell..........

We went to visit my parents in Devon, and she ended going out of her way to get drunk, assaulted me and accused me of all sorts of things, affairs, domestic violence until one point I had to restrain her to prevent herself from getting injured, she was erractic and violent.

After Devon, she was very appologetic an said she was never the most rational thinker. She said it was all her fault and could we have a fresh start. This lasted 5 days, until I went out with some friends on a night out. The next day she stopped speaking to me, became aggressive and I never heard from her for a few days.

I approached her mid-wife with my concerns asked if she could speak to her, to try and establish if there were any problems she could help with. This just made things worse, she accused me of going behind her back and said I had made things worse. Again she accused me of being a B*STARD and said I incapable of acting decent and I was immature.

She was just a different person. She slowed down the contact with me, stopped txting, calling showing absoulutly no emotion with me whatsoever. I continued to say I was in love with her, but it was like talking to a brick wall, no emotion, no feelings. She was nasty to me, saying I was arrogant and shallow but did not back her opinion up with any evidence.

When it came to talking about the baby, it was hers or no way, she wanted to be the way she wanted only, wanted her own place with her own stuff. It was like she didn't want me involved at all. She started saying things like she couldn't trust me and everybody always lets her down. She was paranoid and if I did see her in person, one day she was great with me and the next she would be so moody and aggressive and anything I said she had to say the opposite cause an argument. I just didn't understand this. I had done nothing to make her react in this way to me.

I lost contact with her for a while, but i managed to gain contact with her again for her dating scan. At the scan she was very pleasant, said she was happy for me to be involved in the babbies life and so on. I thought things were back on track and everything was just a a blip. It was now early April. I continued to recieve random txts from her, some would be nice but cold and then others would be horrible and aggressive, saying she felt really depressed and really empty and felt sick all the time. If I did speak to her on the phone, It only take for me to say something so trivial amd she would explode on the phone and put it down on me.

To summarise the rest, she ended up going to see her ex one night after getting herself drunk, he assaulted her and she fell down a set of stairs. She ended up in Hospital. She has continued to binge drink on a weekly basis, binge eat and I had suspicions she was sleeping around.


From here on, my nightmare continues along with hers it seems. The final time I saw her was about two weeks ago and again after a really good few nite with her the Monday before, a few nights before, she came to my house in an evil mood. She just literally bullied me, swore at me and accused me of being horrible.If I touched her in anyway she became aggressive and irritable. She eventually left that nite and in the morning I called her to say that I thought it would be a good idea talk to a professional, that I would support her and be there. She put the phone down and again I received txts saying she wished she wasn't having a baby with someone has horrid as me, said I was self obsessed and shallow and said I would be hearing from the CSA when the baby is born.

I now feel so so depressed. I just dont know what to do. After researching BPD, I feel she certainly has a good chance of having this.

Thank you for your reply.

I know it is inappropriate to diagnose or tag someone with something that only a pro can do, I have spoken to two pro's in the field and both independantly said she had symptoms of BPD, but again with out a full assessment, could not say for sure. There is alot more that has happened than what I have already written, but I agree that she might have very poor social skills to.

To try and maybe make her realise or make her understand what I was trying say to her in regards to help, I put all of her behaviour down on a text, just to try and make her realise what had been happening because sometimes she would make me appologise for things that she did.

She consistantly take no responsibility for her actions, and could understand the consequences to them. She could not understand why I was upset at her going to her violent ex partner, or drinking alcohol during pregnancy, her false accusations of assault against me.

She became very manipulative to, telling people things they wanted to hear and I think including myself to.

I think the child issue is the difficult one of all. It is quite clear that she now does not want me involved in the childs life, as her presumption now is that I am all bad. I can't change that, I did that before and we fell to square 1. She doesn't want me around her so she will hopefully contact me when the child is born. On curent status, I can see, from experience in the occupation I do, she will make thnigs difficult for me to have contact with the child. If I do approach the appropriate authorities or professionals for help and support for her and the child, I feel this will esculate the situation greatly.

She already feels that by me outlining that she needs support, in whatever shape or form, I am the 'enemy' and am i someway trying to cause trouble when in fact I am trying to do the opposite. Custody is obviously an option, but as a country we are all aware that fathers are rarely given custody and only usually in extreme cases.

*cuddles to everyone to make them feel better*

quautia, I always direct my anger inwards as well.

There are other idsorders which can make you act in a smililar way, you cannot diagnoise someone else, chances are they can have something complettly different, some of it sounds like dependant pd rahter than borderline.

Thank you for your replies. They have helped me greatly. I agree with the last post to, a dependant personality disorder could be the problem but like we have said we wont know until a diagnoses is given. I hope and pray I come through this, and come out of the deep depression I'm in at this time.

bump,