Kitty , Could you put on Music , watch t.v., have a bath, eat some cereal Read a favourite Book , Play in the RYL arcade? , And just try and distract yourself. Stay safe Kitty *Hugs*

Night Night .

Yeah, see the problem is I have a husband that doesn't really let me do anything. If I listen to music on my computer, I'm distracting him (we don't have headphones and can't afford to buy any). Even though he is not doing anything important - all he does is sit and play in his computer all day and read news on it. No movie is showing interest to me - watched a couple of triggering ones yesterday and just feel blah today and movies don't sound good. I hate reading...when I read I read triggering books, too. Especially when I'm like this. I need a straight jacket.

Night Mark, sending good thoughts your way.
Kitty, please try to stay safe.
Oliver, I lack motivation too. I hope you find some *hugs*

Uni work is not getting done. But I'm going to go to the Secret Sister party and not worry. yess.

I will try to stay safe. I just need someone to talk to...support. I can't talk to my husband because he doesn't understand, then gets frustrated because he can't understand, and he starts yellin and bitchin at me which in turn makes it worse. I dont have any friends where we live. Hell I cant even leave the house! If I tell my husband I'm going to go on a walk, he insists on coming with me. It's so annoying and its killin me...

You guys stay safe, too!

feliciaaaa :) <3

*Hugs Kitty* I don't know if it's my place to say, but your husband sounds very...controlling. How is he generally? You can talk to us any time you want, there's usually at least one persno hanging.

OMD. My heart is thudding. My 'Glee' poster just fell off my wall and gave me a heart attack!

*hugs everyone*

Motivation = zero

sorry.

*hugs Lia back* thanks...controlling doesn't even begin to describe it. It's sad. He never used to be this way before we got married...we even lived together first and he wasn't like this. Yet he claims that I am the one that has changed...

And *hugs Laura* I know how you feel about no motivation, darlin, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. No need to be sorry.

Kitty, sorry, another personal question. Tell me to bugger off any time you like, I just tend to open my mouth and keep opening it until I go too far. Then I back off. Usually. Anywho, are you happy with him? It doesn't sound as if you are much :/

*Hugs Laura* We've all been there Laura, like Kitty said, there's no need to be sorry. I hope you're alright.

That is a complicated question, and I have a complicated answer. I love him, but I am trying to figure out why. I knew why when we got married, but things have just changed so drastically in the past 7 months that I just don't know anymore. I can't work at this point in my life, but he is not willing to go out and try to find a job, even though he doesn't do anything but sit and play on his computer all damn day long. He complains when I watch shows or movies that he does not like, so I have to wait until he goes to bed to watch anything I want to watch, but he finds it perfectly OK to sit and watch shows that I don't like while I am around. If I am not there or available when he checks the mail, I do not get to open my own f**king mail - he opens it for me and claims he was "just curious". I have caught him in the act of doing so several times and have made comments on it such as "wow it's nice that I don't get to open my mail" and "You know, I don't receive much mail, but when I do, and it's not junk mail, I appreciate opening my own f**king mail", but it doesn't do any good - he still continues to do as he pleases. He tells me to talk to him when I feel down and all, but then all he does is yell and bitch at me and somehow makes it seem like it's my fault in one way or another. I just don't know anymore. :(

laura.. you and me both =s. cant afford =s stupid finals week/papers/craap

*curls up in the corner and hides under a bunch of blankets and doesn't move*

=[ sup?
*offers a jar of hugs you can take from as yuo want :)*

thanks. I feel trapped like an animal in a cage...can't do anything. Feelin hopeless because there is no way out of it at this point. Want to die...just want to be free..

=[ im sorry =\ anything i can do to help?

I don't know, really. I am just in a marriage that I am realizing more and more is turning into hell. I cannot afford a divorce and can't use his money to do so because he doesn't have any money. I can't go stay with family because if I go I won't be able to continue school, and I am in the school I have always wanted to go to since I was a kid. I just feel so trapped and have no idea what to do anymore..

*Hugs Kitty*

*Hugs Felicia* Thankyou :)

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Laura*

Whats up Owen ?

:( are you sure?

That's okay Owen , you didn't make me sad . are you going to be alright?

You did Not make me sad Owen , I just have been sad for a few days, thanks for the hug :)

Depression Sad Owen , I can't help it , No sprecific oudside cause for me being sad I just am sad , Not your fault at all.

My Sister just rang and is coming up to try and do Christmas shopping , I don't know what shops are open here on a Sunday but It will be nice to meet her :) and my baby neice Mariama :)

Hey Owen *waves*

Hey Mark *hugs* have fun Christmas shopping :)

*Hugs Kitty* I don't really know what advice to give, I'm pretty sure you've already said something about not having many friends around where you are, unless you made that up entirely, so I can't really suggest going to stay with one of them, but if your marriage is making you so unhappy, you need to get out somehow. How much longer do you have left at school? I do know how you feel, I hate my home and the family I life with are dicks most of the time, but I no way have the courage to leave and go and live alone, although I am 16 so technically could. But I also love my school and couldn't leave so I am going to stick it out for another two years and go on to uni somewhere far away. Is there any way you can just get out of the house as much as possible? Stay in school long hours, leave the house early and hang back to get more work done? I'm not really sure what else to say except for hold on. Things won't be like this forever and even if you can't now, you wil someday be able to leave. *Another hug*

I'm almost ready for the Holidays . Less than 2 weeks I think I bought my first Presant in September :p hmmmm. My Green (Festive eh?) Tinsel is wrapped around my clear white lights , they throw out a lot of light , as much as my lamp I reckon.

*Hugs Lia* How are you this morning?

Don't hurt your foot Owen . Kicking away.

You alright Owen?

I love Christmas :) Although the day's always a bit meh since I have to spend it with my family, but a lot of my extended family come over and I love them so it's cool.

I'm alright today Mark. And in your response to yesterday, I really can't tell anyone else. Partly because I am ashamed, partly because they wouldn't take me seriously, partly because they'd take me too seriously. There are a lot of reasons. It would mean opening up to so much as go to doctor which I'd totally rather not do. Anywho, I'm OK for now. Looking forward to Christmas :)

Oh I know how scary it was for me going to a Dr the first time , it was totally nerve wracking all those years ago so I can empathise with you there , telling people is TOUGH *Squishes*

Sisters here :) Be back Later :)

What's wrong Owen?

Have fun Mark :)

Doesn't seem like nothing. You sure you're alright?

We're all here to listen to you, Owen.

*Hugs Lindsay* How are you feeling today?

Scared. I'm going to a bereavement service at church today and I don't want to go on my own but there is no one who can go with me. I haven't been to church since I was about 12. I'm scared that i'll sit in someone else's seat or something.

How are you, Mark?

I'm.....well I don't know how to describe it , My Sister and Neice have come and gone , I went for a walk , I'm numb I guess , but that's not all of it *sigh* .Words.escape.me.

*hugs Mark* When you find the words i'll be here to listen. Just PM me if i'm not around.

*Hugs Mark* I agree with Lindsey. We're here to listen if you do find the words. Did you enjoy shopping?

*Hugs Lindey* I'm going to church later, it's my youth group's Christmas party. From my experiences, no one has 'seats' you just sit wherever's avaliable. Besides, it's a church. No one's going to shout at you. You'll be alright :)

Lindsay , If your Bereavment serice is like my Grandma's funeral , The very closest family sit right at the front , then the rest of the family ,then family friends . I really don't think people have specific seats though so I'm sure you'll be fine wherever you sit .
Thanks for the Offer of a PM , I'd just worry that I was burdening you though , I know you are struggling as well *Hugs*

Thank you both. It's a bereavement service for everyone who has lost someone this year.

You wouldn't be burdening me at all, Mark. I'm here for you no matter what is going on in my life.

Shopping was nice and we clogged up a cafe with the Baby stroller heh , but coffee came with little welsh cakes :) , Then we did grocery spopping , Pringles are on offer and I bought apples and Tonic water amongst other stuff . Then they left and I had cereal and went back to Adlis for a walk and mooch around . I don't know what to do now I'm looking at the veins on the back of my hand in "That Way" sorry . *Hugs Lia*