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*hugs laura?* not sure if you are laura
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yes i'm laura :-)
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*yawns* wow i've been away awhile wats been going on
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*sits in a corner and rocks hugging knees*
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*crawls in* i can't do this anymore. ..
Laura, i've tried to reach amy but she doesn't want to come out or be talked with. your guess is as good as mine on the blue. I've never seen that before, but i know I had the night from hell last night with rapid internal switches. I tried to pin it down, but all i got was that it's male and seems to be some kind of gaurdian, except things went wrong last night because obviously i missed the warning. I had so many voices saying different things with different agendas that i just wanted to internally scream to shut them all off. shadow was lurking again, so i'm going to have to investigate if i can exactly what he's capable of, and i guess, rather bitterly accept him as in existence. i'm a mess. April *catches your hug* needed that, thanks sweet |
kat i'm here if u wanna talk
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thanks julie. i'm rather shell-shocked. i've never had a night like that, and i havn't had a chance to talk it over with anyone yet
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well we're all ears hun
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*crawls into her tent, in her corner, and settles in once more with her stuffed lamb, pillow, and blanket, all to have a good cry* And what's worse is I cut and they sting :pinch:
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*crawls to tent and passes through soothing lotion* i'm sorry you cut hun
Julie: im so confused i dont know what to think. I dont want shadow to be real, but something made me hurt myself last night, not like SI, more self abuse. It was so noisy in there that i wanted to run away from my own head. i've no idea who blue is, but he staged a takeover bid last night and i havn't had anything like that happen in years. i thought i'd got us all figured. seems i'm wrong. *sighs* it's all too complicated. |
i kinda no how u feel it's so hard to keep track of them all
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i thought i had it. i was worried about shadow's existence, but this blue has come out of, well the blue. I'm calling him blue because i couldn't get a name from him last night and i have no time to do journal work to discover more cos my daughter is awake and hubby isn't and we've got to get to church soon.
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Thanks Kat. Tis no big deal, I suppose. I'm very sorry you're having such a rough time of it *hugs* Wish I could help.
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big deal or not, cuts need care, and care i can give *hugs forever broken back* thanks for the hug. what's your name hun?
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can i come out or this bad time
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kat have u read all the posts they made
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I go by Ally here and it is very nice to meet you.
Unfortunately it is after midnight here and I've got to get up and get to church early tomorrow so I am off to bed. Please have a good day, the both of you. And feel free to use the tent ;-) Tis a good corner, that and the tent, though brand new, isn't bad either, lol. Good night (and thanks for the hug Kat, I needed it) |
*nods* yes amy i have and it confuses me *cries* i just dont know who i am anymore
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Hi all. *waves at those who don't like hugs and hugs the rest*
I've missed 10 or so pages so won't be doing individual replies. I think I saw a return of Ally and Emma though so *big hugs* to both of you - if you are able to accept them. If not, please take my warm wishes. *hugs the regular ward-mates with the usual addendum then disappears into a dark corner to cry* |
whats the host given name
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*crawls into the corner with kahlia and cries too* nice to meet you ally. I might just sneak into your tent later.
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hmm? sorry amy, I didn't quite get your question.
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kat whats the host given name
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*hug kat* That sounds quite overwhelming. Im sorry that everyone was yelling in your head last night.. I hope you can figure out about who the blue person is and that the shadow can be kept at bay.
*hugs julie* *hugs amy* *hugs everyone else* I spy Kahlia! *cuddles* How r u today? I'm off to bed soon.. its almost 3am so i figured i better sleep at some point heh. |
like is our julie is the host like the body
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*hugs Laura* - Still not good. But good spotting considering I was having a go at disappearing in the corner.
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amy: ah, now I get you hun, sorry, slow on the uptake this morning. I'm the host sweetie, but i'm not really called kat, that's just my safe name because if i use my real name, it hurts more.
Laura: *huggles* it's bad this morning. switching all over the place and i dont know WHO i'm switching to. I just flipped at hubby, screamed at him in front of my baby girl, something i'd never do. But now I can't remember what i screamed and why. I remember doing it, and i remember feeling really hurt and angry and bitter, but i can't remember what about. I hate it. |
Kahlia - well i just used my visibility powers lol. Its the new thing, i make invisible ppl visible. Okay, enough silliness, its like 3am here so im getting tired. I'm sorry that you are not doing well. I think I read that you told your roommate about the urges.. thats probably good, at least someone knows.. Please try to stay safe. Dont let those urges get too bad *cuddles*
*hugs kat* im sorry that youve had a rough morning. I wish i had some words for you, but I don't know that much about switching and alters, other than what i've read in my psych classes.. which isnt that helpful when trying to talk about what it feels like. *offers more hugs* |
oh ok u seem like a really nice mummy
*sits* i'm sorry it's confusing i dunno why i is even here |
*sits with amy* here as in now, or as in here in your system?
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whole system
like why i got made |
laura, it feels like..like..i don't know. I sometimes get eye ache, or headaches before a switch.. it's a bit like rapid mood swings but all consuming. Sometimes it's like i'm viewing things from a movie point of view, sometimes it's like i'm in and behind the person out front, sometimes it's like i'm just letting them use my mind, sometimes i feel i have no control over them at all like i'm behind glass, sometimes i just completely flip and do stuff and know i did it but can't remember what is was i actually did, like this morning. It's so confusing, and if i think about it, i get scared. If i try and analyze it i end up tying myself up in knots and feeling completely insane and wondering if i'm making it all up.
Amy: I'm sure there is a really good reason. what do you do? do you look after any of the others? |
*cuddles Laura* - Thanks, try and get some sleep.
*hugs Kat - if that's okay* *waves at Amy* |
*hugs* thanks kahlia. i'm alright with hugs, it's just amy who isn't
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if the blue person reads this then talk to us we can help u help kat
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Kat - That's okay, just didn't want to give you hugs if you weren't feeling able to accept them. *big hugs*
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i'm listening
but she doesnt let me thats because you always come when she needs to be doing something else stupid. |
ouch, major migraine. see what I mean? I can't keep up *rubs eyes*
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amy whats the other persons name
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sorry kat i was trying to help
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*sits and looks at the floor* i'm sorry *hugs knees*
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'tis alright amy. kat had to deal with baby hazel and we had to get ready for church. hes nice, a bit odd but nice. but he made us promise not to tell so that he could protect us. but as he's out now i dont know.
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protect you from what
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the shadow thing. he gives us a bad name. he hurts us. he hurts kat. he pretends to be us but he's bad at it.
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the shadow could destroy us all. everything. he used to pretend to be me. he made kat's jack hate me.
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she wont tell you my name
shes too scared of shadow they all are i like being out i like having hands i dont talk but i can type i like typing for myself i could get used to this |
*waves shyly at everyone* sorry I've been off the ward a bit, just struggling atm. I have no hope of replying to you all, but I still care as much as I do when I'm up to individual replies.
One post stood out to me, a few days ago now, sorry again..... Quote:
Anyway, will try and keep track of everyone the next few days or so. *sits quietly and hugs knees like Amy* |
can i choose a name for for u
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i have a name
i told you my name baby needs a name she never had a name |
baby?
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