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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

hidingme 01-02-2011 05:26 AM

we havent been in here for a while. but feel as if we belong in here again.. not really that we had quit feeling that way ..it just had lessened some.

we discovered a new one today. we have had ideas that one like that existed within with us for quite a while now but its different knowing he is really there.
it scares me and for some reason i feel quite ashamed over it.. i wasnt planning to tell my husband about the other one but i try not to keep any secrets from him. he hasnt mentioned it yet..as we had left the notebook the other one wrote in todayout for him to read.. we took our nightly meds earlier along with 2 xanax (2 mgs total) so we are still quite sleepy.
just.. idk.. surrounded with friends online and few offline and family but still feel totally alienated, alone and misunderstood and lost.

i am sorry for complaining.
Hiding

Doikers 01-02-2011 10:52 AM

*Hugs Louise*
*Hugs Disturbia*
*Hugs Oliver*
*Hugs Hiding*

I'm up . My Dad left his phone here yesterday so is coming by in a bit to pick it up , I don't know how I feel yet today :S

shadowedsoul 01-02-2011 05:24 PM

hugs everybody, curls up

Doikers 01-02-2011 05:26 PM

*Hugs Jill* You okay hun?

Billy! 01-02-2011 06:12 PM

*Hugs Everyone*

Doikers 01-02-2011 06:17 PM

*Squishes Charlie* How are you , any news?

Billy! 01-02-2011 06:21 PM

*Hugs Mark*
I'm ok thanks, No news :( How are you?

Doikers 01-02-2011 06:29 PM

anxious but numbing effects of alcohol works :S *Hugs Charlie*

Billy! 01-02-2011 06:31 PM

Oh Mark :( Please go careful on the drink!
I've gotta admit, the bottle of vodka in the cupboard looks appealing, but I can't....just in case.

Doikers 01-02-2011 06:40 PM

Yeah best be safe Charlie hun :s I am watching it , I just don't like myself when I'm sober , I HATE myself , this numbs it

time to change 01-02-2011 06:42 PM

well i havent been on in months, hello everyone!
im struggling a hell of a lot at the moment. dont know why, tried going over everything but not working.
hope everyone is ok xx

Doikers 01-02-2011 06:43 PM

*Hugs Steph (right?)*

time to change 01-02-2011 06:58 PM

good memory! yeah, hows you? please tell me mark's correct? xx

Doikers 01-02-2011 07:06 PM

It is Mark ! look at us with our Memorys working!

time to change 01-02-2011 07:29 PM

hehe! at least im on form with something tonight!

Doikers 01-02-2011 07:30 PM

Whats up Steph ?

YodaBearInterrupted 01-02-2011 07:32 PM

*gives everyone huggles*

*sits in the corner and cries* I just want to do nothing right now

time to change 01-02-2011 07:36 PM

just feel so low, ive been doing so well and dont want to ruin it now. theres nothing that has really set me off, i have so much to be happy for, but all of a sudden ive crashed.

Doikers 01-02-2011 07:46 PM

*Hugs YodaB* I love that film too but the book was better but it was close.

*Hugs Steph* I'm sorry you feel so **** .

I ......... well I hate myself , In the mornings I caffeinate to wake and at night I alcoholate too sleep ( Way better than sleeping meds but way more expensive and side effects to)

shadowedsoul 01-02-2011 08:07 PM

hugs mark, hmm not feeling great tonight. kind feeling low. please stay safe mark

Doikers 01-02-2011 08:15 PM

*Hugs Jill*

shadowedsoul 01-02-2011 08:23 PM

thanks mark, how are you doing tonight?

FlyingNy 01-02-2011 08:29 PM

*Hugs Jill, Charlie and Mark.*

Sorry Charlie, fb chat is a bitch for me. I'm not just ignoring you.

Doikers 01-02-2011 08:30 PM

*Hugs Lia*

Billy! 01-02-2011 08:30 PM

*Cuddles everyone*
lol Lia, thats ok :)

shadowedsoul 01-02-2011 08:49 PM

cuddles mark, charlie and lia. curls up, damn it im freaking out so much. damn i wish thur would hurry up.

Billy! 01-02-2011 08:54 PM

*Cuddles Jill* Are you ok?
Do you think they do lemon chocolate.............?

shadowedsoul 01-02-2011 08:58 PM

no not really, have a panic attack, more i try and stop the worse it gets.

Billy! 01-02-2011 09:03 PM

*Huggles* Have you tried breathing exercises and distractions?

Doikers 01-02-2011 09:04 PM

Breath deep Jill

shadowedsoul 01-02-2011 09:09 PM

thanks guys.just need to stop thinking about stuff, and relax. if it goes belly up,
it goes belly up there is noithing i can do about it, but try my best just hope its good enough

Scarletdreamer 01-02-2011 10:01 PM

*flails*

I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be anywhere. I feel burnt out... there's nothing I want to do anymore, there's nothing I am looking forward to, I just want to give up and STOP. Stop breathing, stop living. My life... hurts so much right now.

The diet is really really harsh and makes me so angry. Irrationally so, because it's only "for my own good" but honestly... I miss my desserts. >:| Sounds dumb but you try going for 4 days without having any "real" sugar!! I've had aspartame-sweetened tea and diet soda but nothing else sweet. I don't usually have a lot of sweets but when I know I can't have any I miss them like crazy...

We're in the "eye of the storm" right now... got ~6 inches of snow this morning and then tonight we're supposed to get ~2 inches of ice. I'm not working tomorrow, and work today was easy-peasy and boring. We had a pizza party (since I can't have the crust due to the gluten, I just ate the toppings off one slice) and the staff had a training (it was kinda interesting, on creating safety for someone who's gone through trauma) via telecon. I also got caught up (some) on paperwork. Hubby also has tomorrow off so hopefully we can find something fun to do... although I have no idea what we'll do, especially if the power goes out and we can't drive anywhere because of ice accumulations. >_>

I'm so over everything. And I'm sorry for not doing individuals, I just am really overwhelmed right now. :(

Billy! 01-02-2011 10:12 PM

*Holds April*

YodaBearInterrupted 01-02-2011 10:44 PM

*gives all more hugs*

I just give up right now... i'm tired of fighting for everything, especially relevance in my reality. *sigh* Oh well.

Billy! 01-02-2011 11:26 PM

It's all empty again.....
I'm not gonna run around naked again though cause people always turn up XD
*looks around shiftily.*

Kahlia1981 02-02-2011 02:17 AM

*huggles everybody*

*glomps April* - good to see you sweetheart!!

The cyclone is due to hit between Innisfail and Cardwell (about 2 hours up the coast from us) between 10 pm and midnight tonight. TC Yasi is now a category 5 cyclone and still intensifying. She's about 500 km long and the area expected to be covered by her destruction is from Cairns to Townsville (where I live) which is a 4 hour drive to help you get some perspective on her size. If she hits up north we will most likely have destruction similar to being hit by a strong category 2 so we are expecting severe destructive winds, power losses, storm surges of up to 2 metres on top of high tides etc.. The city has been evacuated in some areas already, but we have gotten off lightly. Cardwell has been completely evacuated as the storm surge there is expected to hit 7 metres about the high tide which will swamp the town - and with Yasi hitting as well, Cardwill will be completely decimated.

Sorry, I know that no-one is probably interested, but we are terrified. TC Yasi is massive - the biggest in living memory - in pictures next to the QLD coast she's almost the size of half the coast. We are in danger of losing all our possessions as well as our lives. We fear for everyone in the path but cannot do anything. Feeling powerless is just so ......

I don't know. I'm sorry.

*cuddles Puppy SinClair*

frenchhorn 02-02-2011 02:23 AM

*hugs kahlia* i hope that you are ok, it sounds scary and vey terrifying what is going on.

*hugs April* its nice to see you around again, sorry things are not good and that diet does sound very harsh.

*hugs Charlie, yodabear, Jill, Mark,Lia* how areyou all?

YodaBearInterrupted 02-02-2011 02:34 AM

*hugs Kahlia* i hope that you all get through this safely and with not much damage

*hugs frenchhorn*

*hugs for everyone else in here*

Meh. I haven't really changed since earlier today. Still very unhappy

xxjuliexx 02-02-2011 08:49 AM

anyone here

Doikers 02-02-2011 10:31 AM

*Hugs Jill*
*Hugs April*
*Hugs YodaBear*
*Hugs Charlie*
*Hugs Kahlia*I hope you are safe hun :S
*Hugs Oliver*
*Hugs Julie*

one_step_closer 02-02-2011 11:21 AM

*hugs everyone*

I'm seeing someone from the crisis team today but I doubt they will be able to help. I'm holding on to see my brother on Friday but then that's it. I've completely had enough.

Doikers 02-02-2011 11:48 AM

Lindsay Hun maybe the member of your crisis team will be able to help , please be honest with them *Hugs*

shadowedsoul 02-02-2011 03:06 PM

hugs everyone, curls up. damn im getting so freaked out about this interview, please let it be okay. =/

Billy! 02-02-2011 03:22 PM

*Huggles everyone*

Doikers 02-02-2011 04:07 PM

*Hugs Jill* Whens your interview? , I'm sure It'll go okay :)

*Hugs Charlie*

shadowedsoul 02-02-2011 04:27 PM

hugs mark back. the interview is tomorrow at 11.30, so nervous, can't calm myself down really want to sh. meh

Doikers 02-02-2011 04:41 PM

So.......... I say I'm feeling flat today and my Dad's reponse is "Yeah well we all get days like that" , FFS he doesn't get it , does he have days when he absolutley HAS to Cut ? No , so we don't all have days like this ..... :( Anxious enough to need a Diaz ....

shadowedsoul 02-02-2011 05:02 PM

hugs mark, im sorry your feeling down, and that you want to sh. i feel the same tonight. please try and stay safe.

Doikers 02-02-2011 05:05 PM

Thanks Jill Hun *Hugs* You take care too :)

Doikers 02-02-2011 05:26 PM

Drinking Tonic and PLJ , I like it and it's alcohol free and I must go a day before I meet with my Keyworker tomorrow. I could go out for booze but NO! not tonight.


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