Not according to my mom...or anyone in real life, really...

Definitely, it's ok. I'm not new here lol I'm an oldie, used to post here all the time when it started...i don;t come online much these days.

Heya guys :) How is everyone?

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Helen* I'l miss you Helen :( you joined about a month after me i think. Take care hun

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Lia*

Welcome back Ileana :) *Hugs Ileana*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Kitty*

*Hugs Jill*

-spots and waves to ian- How you be?

I'm not bad thanks... Kitty. Not that it would matter if i wasnt.

...yes it would..

How are you Kitty?

Still alive. Not doing so hot. Still looking for (a) reason(s).. But alive..

Oh im so sorry i just read the other pages. Please dont do anything, i care about you and so do many others here.

-spots and waves to solo- hows you?

You're so sweet kitty! I'm still struggling. I don't know if I'm tryin to talk myself into or out of breaking my streak of almost 4 months free. I've also been worrying about you. Im havin computer trouble so I've missed the last few hours n I'm typing this on my iPod.

-offers protective teddy- Don't worry bout me. No point in it..

Thanks for the teddy! I can't help worryin about you kitty. I care! If we switched places, I'm sure you'd worry bout me too.

Yeah I would. Cuz I care about everyone but myself. That's why I have to go through with the plan.. I care too much for the people in my life to not go through with it... Sorry

-curls up in her dark corner-

I don't want to do it...but I have to..

I'm gonna come sit with you.

K, if you want..

Yep! Are you still cold?

No, not anymore..

Good! Maybe you'd like an iced coffee then?

*hugs Kitty and Solo* sorry your both struggling, can I come sit with you?

Of course Oliver! Scooch right in here.

Thanks Solo but I think if I had an iced coffee I'd get cold again..

Sure Oliver, you can come sit with us.

-sits up and hugs knees to make more room and starts rocking back and forth-

*comes and sits with Solo and Kitty*
thanks both. *hugs both*

-hugs oliver- You okies?

Thanks Oliver! *hugs back* How ya doin?

awful. *hugs*

-offers oliver a protective teddy as well- Sorry you are struggling too, Oliver..

I'm sorry too Oliver! At least we're not alone.

Sorry guys but I don't know if I can do this I don't even know if I will survive the night..



-rocks faster-

*hugs Kitty lots* please stay safe, is there someone you can talk to, or be with. Is there some sort of helpline you can call where you are, like we have the samaritans here. Please find someone to talk to and be with to keep you safe

-hugs oliver back- I don't have any friends. There is a crisis line but if I call it and tell them I am suicidal they will have me sent to the hospital and I can't afford that. I don't have the money or any health care..

Kitty honey, there are so many things running through my head that I wanna say to you that I can't even pick one. Just please stay safe! Please!

even in an emergency you still have to pay for hospital treatment.
I'm sorry that sucks. Keeps talking to us, is there some sort of national helpline which is more anonymous, so you wouldnt put you in hospital.

*hugs Kutty and Solo*

What do you want to say to me, Solo?

-hugs oliver back- I don't know. Maybe. I've never called the national hotline before I'm not sure if they track your call if you say you are suicidal and send an ambulance or anything...

And yes, to answer your question. It's against the law for them to refuse treatment if you are unable to pay, but you still get a huge bill. Like I went to the ER in november to see if I needed stitches I was only there for like 15 minutes with the doctor and they charged me $625. That bill is on its way to collections, which means it's going to ruin my credit. And that was only for 15 minutes!

oh my god, hearing that makes me glad for the NHS.
well going on the national helplines in england, they dont track your calls, i have called them after taking an overdose and they offered to call an ambulance for me, but i refused so they couldn't do anything.
I dont know what it is like where you live.
*hugs*

-hugs oliver back- I don't know, either. I have heard they do put you on hold, though.. =/

*hugs Kitty* its worth a try at least. please stay safe. are you on yor own at the moment?

Yes, on my own.. sorry guys..

-rocks back and forth-

*hugs* is there someone you can visit, or be with? just so your not alone

I'm havin computer troubles again. I'm also gettin drifty. I want to say lots of things about how special you are n how many people care about you n other things you won't listen to.

I'm sorry kitty! I read that back n it sounded harsh. I didn't mean for it to. I kept driftin while I was tryin to type it on my iPod. I can barely see. I just really care about you n I want you to stay safe. I want so badly to help but I don't know how.

-hugs oliver- No. I have no friends, and I don't know anyone in the area..

You ok solo?..

I dunno. I can't think. I don't feel well.

Did you take anything? Do anything?..

I've been doin some things to lose weight. My heart's doin gymnastics.

Solo... what have you done??? Do you need medical attention?!

I think I better lay down. You gonna be ok? Will I talk to you tomorrow?

I don't know. Can't promise anything at this point. Go lay down and take care of yourself. If it gets worse, you should go to the hospital..