Thanks so much for the hugs Mark n Lia! *Hugs back*. Lia honey, I'm pretty strange n I know there are a lot more like us. Hearin your story would probly make us feel better about our strangeness! I'm sure others can relate. Please share if it would help. *hug*

I like the Harry potter books.

*Hugs Lindsay* I don't think it would be a waste of time hun, I have read them loads of times, they're such good books that they never get old, and maybe it would help keep you distracted?

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Louise*

Am I the only one who hasen't read the Harry Potter Books ?

*Hugs Mark* lol. I think so :P you should read them, they're good.
How are you?
*Hugs Louise*

Nah there's loads of people out there (some on RYL) who haven't read Harry Potter =P Also congratulations on the one week Mark, keep it up :)

*offers hugs to all*

Thanks Helen :)

I need to ovedose, I need to overdose, I need to overdose. I can't get this out of my head. I want to feel every moment of overdosing and of being in hospital. Each time that I have been in hospital before I have kept reminding myself that I should savour every moment because it is so good. I want to spend a night in their beds, to be poked and prodded with needles, to be put on a drip, to be physically sick. I want to go way back to one of the first times I took a serious overdose where the medication made me feel so out of it. I have become like a druggie now because I can't get my fix no matter how much of the medication I take. I have to take other medications that have little or no side effects in overdose.

I HATE ME. WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?

I've read it loads of times too Lindsey :) It is the height of awsome so there is every point in reading and re reading the books.

Nicole, that's the one I am watching too :) I was watching the onmibus earlier on, but then Jason pulled up his sleeve (her sleeve?) and I was like 'wah!' because I wasn't expecting all the marks to be there. It triggered me slightly, but I was triggered before then so I guess it doesn't matter much.

*Hugs all*

*Hugs lindsay* You don't need it hun, I know it feels like it, but you don't please try and hang in there?
*Hugs Lia* yeah, it's a bit confusing! But yeah, I normally watch them on first look, but I missed it last night so have to wait till monday to see what happens next :/ but I am so into that story, Last week when her grandad went to put the watch on her I was shouting 'NO, DON'T LET HIM SEE YOUR ARM!' at the TV XD.

Why do we all do it to ourselves Lindsey? I can't tell you why I do these things to myself. I don't know why I can't just accept things as they are, move on and be happy. There's no reason I shouldn't, I just don't because this is what I am used to. Stupid reason, I know, but it's what you're used to too. Being 'normal' for want of a better word is an even scarier prospect than all of this because it's not what's familiar.

You know overdosing won't help in the long run. As soon as you're out of the hospital, you'll just want to do it again. Like SI, it's only temporary relief before everything comes rushing back, and you can't do this forever. I would hate for something to go horrible wrong for you Lindsey.

Oh, I did wonder what all the great big fuss was about at that part, because that was before I saw the arm. I haven't watched it in ages. I used to, but then stopped and watched it again Christmas day, and it was simply bursting with Christmas cheer. What with all the murders, threats, violence and that storyline going on.

*Hugs Lindsay*

I'm obsessed with that story line too, its really hard watching it, self harm, being trans, coming out, having to dress as a girl, families being **** and yet I can't stop watching it.

Lindsey please stay safe, overdosing won't solve anything in the long run (I know I can't really talk) but please sta safe

*hugs all*

oh I know when Jason's grandad was trying put the watch on him I was cringing and remindedme when my grandma brought me a t shirt and wanted me to try it on, plus the fact it was a girls watch and I just thought wel this isn't going well at all

Yeah, it's hard to watch sometimes, but you kinda get used to all of it. Now I am just watching it wondering wether carl and heidi are gonna find out, Their reaction would be awful :/

I don't see their problem with Jasmine/Jason. I just don't see how it matters if she's a boy or a girl. She's still the same person. I don't get it. Why would you care? Particuarly if it's your own child. Might take some getting your head around, but I don't see why people react so badly. I honestly couldn't give a toss who's gay, who's straight, who's a boy, who's a girl and all that jazz.

Exactly, the only difference are a couple of body parts, whats the problem? I really don't understand some people.....

I agree Lia, unfortunatly some people don't see it like that.
Although it isreally hard for families, but yeah you should still love your child whatever, I'm lucky I have a supportive family and they are supportive of the fact I'm trans, but I know somepeople whose families are awful and its so horrible

I'm glad you have a supporive family Oliver :) My mum's homophobic. She knows about my sexuality, although we have never discussed it, and I've never told her and she makes all these comments. I don't care though. If she's got an issue with it, that's her problem.

My mums Homophobic too, although she pretends not to be :/
I have a really sore throat :(

Drugs? Throat sweets? I think I take painkillers too often, I always have to take twice the amount to make them work.

I think people are finding out about Jasmine/Jason's cutting a little quickly though. In the space of a week, about 4/5 people know. Generally, it's more of a secret than that, but there you go.

:S I'm sorry your Mum's are Homophobic guys :(
I hope you're not brewing a cold Nicole :S

Why is this day going so slow? Is the New Year simply mocking me? This year has not got off to a good start. It did at first, like at midnight up until about 1.00 this afternoon, but now it's gone to pot. I need to disconnect my emotions from this.

I know Lia , The day is dragging by a bit right? *Hugs*

Yes, the day is dragging soo slowly
*Hugs Lia and Mark*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Felicia and Mark* How are you Felicia?

Lia, I'm.... I'm not sure how I am. I'm a mix between super low and apathetic. *sigh*

*Hugs Felicia* I've been much the same today.

I'm sorry, Lia. this type of mood really sucks.

*pounces on felicia and snuggles*
you know where i am :)

[haha we're on page 2010]

OOhhh Tomorrow I'm going to my Parents for my Neices 1st Birthday , I gotten her a Wooden Monkey on a pole that you push along , a Book and some infant teething powders , I've never bought Presents for a 1 year old before :)

Sounds like you still did a good job, Mark. :) I suppose I bought presents for my brother when he turned 1... but that was 14 years ago and I don't remember it :p

Ha! Well yes I guess I bought Presents for my Sister too , I didn't think of that.

haha, I have a cousin turning 1 in February (I think? I don't know... my family hardly clues me in on additions and whatnot.), seeing as to how it's the middle of the uni semester, I'll have to buy her something that can be mailed in... ha.

*Night time Hugs my Wardies*

Take care guys :)

argh!
Sorry so many people are feeling low tonight, feel free to PM me any of you if you need to chat. *Hugs*
Night time hugs Mark

-walks into the main ward and huggles everyone- Sorry you are all feeling so low. My PM box is always open if you need to chat as well.

Oh, I always seem to just miss Mark. -night night hugs to mark- Gotta love time differences.

Hey...one more page and the page number will match the year! ^.^

-shuffles on over and grabs some calorie free snacks and drinks-

*Hugs kitty* How are you today? Happy new year lol (I know I said it last night, but it was still 2010 for you then XD)

-hugs nicole- happy new year to you too

Sorry it took me so long to reply...had to hide this screen for a while because my husband likes to play peeping tom. -sighs-

I don't know how I am...I'm just kind of lost I guess...thinking about my life and how much I suck and shouldn't be in it... -shrugs-

How you be?

Hey guys :) hows all my lovely friends?

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Kitty*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Felicia*

-hugs ian- how you be?

Thanks. Not very well :( how are you?

I'm not doing very well, either. -hugs again- What's going on?

*hugs all*

Harry potter was better than I thought it would be, they stuck to the story pretty well. It was so sad when Dobby died.

Lia and Nicole I'm really sorry your mum's are homophobic, its really awful that people are like that at all, but to be like that to your own child, its horrible. *hugs*

Kitty and Ian-whats up? here if you want to talk, PM box always open for any of you

Thanks oliver...I don't really know anymore, though. I just can't help but think about how much I suck and thinking about my life in general and how much better it would be if I were not in it. It's pretty bad. Causes very bad thoughts to go with it..

Sorry if it takes me a while to respond by the way in advance...I'm going between here and watching a movie on my computer. It's a kids movie (Diary of a Wimpy Kid) but its different than what I normally watch and I thought maybe it would cheer me up a little.

And I agree with you. Harry Potter was amazing. I read something online that was pretty funny... "When Black dies, everyone's like 'oh noes!'. When Dumbledore (sorry if I spelled it wrong) dies, everyone's like 'oh noes!'. But when Dobby dies, everyone's like 'oh HELL no you didn't!'" I thought it was funny. lol

I hope the film helps to cheer you up Kitty.
Life would NOT be better if you were not in it. Your a lovely person, a valud member of the ward and I love all the wardies lots, so we would all missyou greatly.
Please stay safe. *hugs*

hi people <3
ughh. feel so urgey for no reason :/ blech

I'm not very well, have got a cold :( got very little motivation and i feel a bit drained and a little fed up oh well. Hi Heather *Hugs Heather* Sorry your having urges Heather.