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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Doikers 10-11-2010 10:48 AM

To whoever sent me a PM ( all 4 of you ) , I haven't yet worked up the courage to read them but I will read them and reply to you guys , Just so you know I'm NOT ignoreing you I just don't want to read them and be put into a crying fit just yet :S Thankyou for them :)

nicole94 10-11-2010 03:02 PM

*hugs ward.*

Doikers 10-11-2010 03:25 PM

*Hugs Nicole* How are you today ?

nicole94 10-11-2010 03:30 PM

*hugs mark* i'm...not sure :/ i'm depressed, but silently determined to beat this. Having to work with all the children at college today made me realise how much i want a baby, and how I am never gonna get that if i carry on like this, so i think i'm gonna fight :/
how are you feeling?

risenfromperdition 10-11-2010 03:49 PM

*waves to everyone*

Doikers 10-11-2010 04:54 PM

*Hugs Nicole* I'm................coping is the best word , got tearful in front of my nurse again . fragile but coping , I've a feeling the feelings are in me and the smallest thing is going to set off a huge bout of crying , I NEED the release , I'm very tempted to injure tonight for the first time since last Thursday :S

SoMuchMore 10-11-2010 05:02 PM

*hugs mark* crying is okay. its good actually. much better than injuring. try not to injure, its not worth it. i am very proud of how well you are doing with all of this. I know its been super rough.

*hugs nicole* I am so so so happy to hear that you want to fight. One reason to hold on is enough hun. Sorry that you are still feeling low, but hang in there.

*hugs heather* how r u this morning? (although I guess its noon... so how r u this early afternoon? lol)

I might become a hermit over the few days. I'm trying not to but its easier to withdraw. *curls up in the corner* Just not doing the best. Don't worry though.

Doikers 10-11-2010 05:11 PM

*Hugs Laura* PM box open always .

frenchhorn 10-11-2010 05:34 PM

*hugs all*

The following content has been hidden - Reason : possibly triggering

I'm sorry i disappeared for a while.
and I'm sorry I can't be more supportive now I'm a mess. I don't know who alse I can tell, you lot are the only ones. I'm scared, I'm so severly depressed, I'm obsessed with death, with my own death, I just want to die, I want to take my medication take it all, but then I don't I want to wait until I can go the way I really want to go. I'm sorry guys

SoMuchMore 10-11-2010 05:44 PM

*hugs mark* thanks for the pm offer. i dont want to bother you while you're struggling so much though.

*hugs oliver* you don't need to be sorry, you can always talk to us. we are here for you. can you tell anyone in real life? your doctor? psych? it sounds like you are really struggling right now and I would hate to see anything happen to you. can you maybe give your medication to someone so you cannot take them all at once? try to hang in there. please try to talk to someone, keep talking to us.

FlyingNy 10-11-2010 05:55 PM

*Hugs everyone, especially Oliver* I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I don't know what I can say really because 'hang in there' isn't all too helpful at times like this, but just so you know we're all always here for you.

*Hugs Nicole* I think that's the best idea you've had in ages. Fighting will win out in the end. If you give up, you'll never know what you might have had. In five years time I could be studying English/creative writing with my first book published and heading home to the woman I am still hopelessly in love with. A dream I know, and probably best not to dwell on that one too much, but it's not impossible. Not physically at least.

*Hugs Mark* I totally understand that mood. That's how I feel half the time now. Grief is a funny thing. You can be fine one minute, and it can **** you up the next. Sometimes, there's that sudden crash of pain that takes your breath away and makes you unable to even move, but other times it's alright.

*Hugs Laura* We will worry, you know we will. You can always come here if you need to talk. I hope you know that. I know you probably do know that, but like me you find it hard to actually act on it.

*Hugs Heather* I don't mind hugs btw, not virtual ones anyway. But thank-you for thinking of that. It does suck, but I guess they don't know what goes through my head and what I am so afraid of, so I can't really be mad at them. I don't even know if there's anything to be afraid of. How are you anyway?

*Waves to Owen* Hello. You alright?

*Hugs Crimson* How are you today?

*Waves to Ian* Hello, I'm Lia. I have a cold too. We should spread the germs, it's always nice to share :)

*Hugs Kahlia* You just keep hanging on in there are you're doing so brilliantly now. Hopefully, Friday will bring something productive for you and in the meantime we are all here.

Cazki 10-11-2010 05:59 PM

Hey, thanks for the cuddles Laura and Mark, and its no problem mark, you have a lot going on so i dont expect you to remember my name. *Takes a sip of tea* *is lonely* I changed one of my pictures to mr Happy lol.

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Julie*

*Hugs Heather*

PoisonedApple 10-11-2010 06:08 PM

*hugs everyone in the ward*

Mark - From the online dictionary:

brev·i·ty /ˈbrɛvɪti/ Show Spelled[brev-i-tee]
–noun 1. shortness of time or duration; briefness: the brevity of human life.

2. the quality of expressing much in few words; terseness: Brevity is the soul of wit
Chess is a good game too. I'm not as good at that one but I'm worse at Khet.

Kahlia - I do like to play but sometimes (the downside to online competition) I get bored waiting for other people to move lol As for how I am, I feel pretty good right now. The clothes I ordered in October finally came in :) Now I just have to have the coat hemmed so it's floor-length not dragging-on-the-floor length hehe. I even had my MIL french braid my hair last night after my shower so it'd be curly (evenly) and I put my hair up with a headband today :) Trying to focus on the good stuff. Trying not to put to much into hoping for this house...
I'm glad you're being honest with your psych and that he's listening and going to make a plan specific to you.

*extra special huggles for Oliver* Don't worry about being supportive to us. You have to take care of yourself first, how else could you support people in here if you aren't well yourself? You can PM me if you like.

***oops... Missed you Lia, and you too Ian... I took a long time to post I'm afraid. Mind going fast than my hands. :) How are you guys today? (other than having a cold that is)

Doikers 10-11-2010 06:35 PM

*Hugs Lia* That is precisly how my greif feels .

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Ian* *Remembers your name* :)

Doikers 10-11-2010 06:57 PM

*Hugs Oliver*

frenchhorn 10-11-2010 07:16 PM

I might go to hospital I feel severly unsafe, although even walking there may be an issue, maybe I should just take the pills anyway

Doikers 10-11-2010 07:21 PM

Oh Oliver Please PLEASE don't take those pills , I really think you should go to hospital if you can make yourself go through the doors , The Online support is Open on RYL up in the top left corner of your screen ^<. *Hugs*

frenchhorn 10-11-2010 07:41 PM

i think I'm going to go to the hospital if I can, I really want to take the pills though. I'm scared though that they'll just say I'm time wasting if I go and havn't actually OD'd

Doikers 10-11-2010 07:57 PM

Oliver , They won't think you're time wasting , I really think you should go , and maybe even take the pills with you and hand them over . Please Stay Safe .

PoisonedApple 10-11-2010 08:17 PM

*hugs Oliver* I agree with Mark. Go to the hospital, give them the pills (if you can) and explain why you're there, that you feel unsafe.

FlyingNy 10-11-2010 08:26 PM

That seems like a plan Oliver. Everyone here would be devesated if anything happened to you or any of the others. All of us here are a part of something and I think in a way feel responsible for each other.

And Mark, although I hate that you're going through this too, it's nice to know I am not alone in this.

EDIT:I'm alright thanks Crimson. And really. That's not me being me, getting up in the morning seems like a daunting prospect, but only because it's so flipping cold in the mornings now and the last thing I want to do is leave my warm comfy bed to go and study plays about suicide (although I do love English and 'Hamlet' is certainly better than 'The Spanish Tragedy'.

Doikers 10-11-2010 08:31 PM

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Lia* We are not alone in this , we have the each other as well as the whole ward :)

SparkleKitten 10-11-2010 09:01 PM

*cuddles all*

Did my first injection today for my new meds. Hurt like hell and I feel terrible. Trying not to be ill from it but I'm not sure I'll manage.

Got tests, coursework and exams littered throughout the next 2 weeks. I don't think I can cope with it all really. Feel so weak from these meds, straight in at 20mg of Methotrexate instead of the 15 they usually put you on for 7-13 weeks. Know I'm bad when I see my favourite food on tv and I'm repulsed. Test tomorrow too. It'll be a miracale if I can get up at 6am and go in.

Citalopram went up to 40mg too today. My body will hate me tomorrow. >:(

Just noticed I've been terrible recently, I keep coming in just to moan when you're all struggling too :( Sorry guys *cuddles* x

Doikers 10-11-2010 09:09 PM

*Hugs Sarah* You're NOT being terrible , in a thread like this there are bound to be time when a LOT of people are struggling , it's the nature of the beast , we can all support each other . I find supporting you guys all good as it keeps me busy . I like your new Hello Kitty by the way , Aloha :)

nicole94 10-11-2010 09:13 PM


MammaMia 10-11-2010 09:18 PM

*finds Nicole and hugs* Want to talk?

*hugs ward*

nicole94 10-11-2010 09:28 PM

*hugs helen* that depends. if you are struggling then no i don't wanna put my problems on you anymore than i already have, but if you are doing ok then, yes please! :/ *hugs*

PoisonedApple 10-11-2010 09:33 PM

I just wanna cry right now.
The loan lady said with a FHA loan I only qualify for 160k and I need about 200k. She's trying to run it to check a VA loan but she can't see my Federal tax deductions.
I don't see how they can say I can't afford to buy a house where my mortgage would be lower than my current rent...

FlyingNy 10-11-2010 10:17 PM

Nicole, I'm alright at the moment if you need an ear.

Mark, I am glad (ish) that I'm not in this alone :)

*Hugs Crimson and Sarah*

Cazki 10-11-2010 11:02 PM

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Helen* How are you?

*Hugs Nicole* How are you?

*Hugs Crimson* How are you?

*Hugs Sarah* How are you?

PoisonedApple 11-11-2010 12:51 AM

My tummy's upset and the loan lady I've been talking to is an idiot. She left out my VA disability pay. That info added to what she had raises my prequalified amount to 197k and a lowered interest rate. I'll be getting a 2nd opinion from another lender, me thinks. I doubt she "remembered" to count my life insurance and 401k as income either, even though the are requested for income information on the application.
On the up side... I'm off work tomorrow and I set my son's appt for Friday and told my boss I wasn't coming in that day so... 4 DAY WEEKEND!!!

PoisonedApple 11-11-2010 01:24 AM

Posted to my R/V... (see siggy bar) It's brief but has the jist of it... I've gotta go...
*hugs all*

Kahlia1981 11-11-2010 01:37 AM

*huggles all*

I am nothing. I was born from dust, and I shall return to dust. And whatever claims me in between is a blessing . . .

~Kaytee~ 11-11-2010 02:51 AM

*cuddles Kahlia* You sure are something hun.. pm if you want to talk at all xx

Kahlia1981 11-11-2010 09:07 AM

*hugs Katie* - Thanks hun.

Everyone keeps telling me that I'm looking better and must be feeling better ... but I feel like I am crumbling to dust and so hurt and depressed inside ... no better, just getting worse. *sigh*

Doikers 11-11-2010 09:12 AM

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Crimson* I read your R/V , You are not a bitch ! NOT NOT NOT

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Ian* It's good to have another bloke about , it's been Oliver and I for a while , now theres 3 !!:)

*Hugs Kaytee*

*Hugs Kahlia* I;m so sorry you feel so low :(

Doikers 11-11-2010 10:13 AM

I just phoned my Mum , Aparently both my Dad and my Sister think I've gone all manic since our bereavment . I'm SO trying to keep busy ,I NEEDED new shoes for winter so I bought some in the Sale at Millets with my Birthday Money , and I bought my aunt and Uncle Christmas presant yesterday , Cheese and Wine :)

I just wrote my Dad a text saying " If you want to come up at lunchtime I'll make you a cheese roll" and then I deleted it , SO ****ING STUPID!!!!!!!

Is anyone about ?

My trousers ripped last night .........wonderful! (Sarcasm)

Doikers 11-11-2010 10:18 AM

Now I've been told I'm Manic I FEEL MANIC , I took a diaz , I haven't been taking them , perhaps I should have been , thats what they are for .

xxjuliexx 11-11-2010 10:23 AM

-sits looking around-

Doikers 11-11-2010 10:32 AM

*Hugs Julie* How are you Julie ???????? Sorry Owen , I didn't spot it was you , how are you?

~Kaytee~ 11-11-2010 10:47 AM

Oh Kahlia, I'm sorry your feeling like that :( It's frustrating though I know.. *cuddles* if you need anything at all.. I'm here.. hang in there chick. *cuddles tight*

Hey Mark (OMG I still think Adam or have I got it wrong? *hides in embarassment*, I'm here..

Hey Owen.. how are you tonight?

Doikers 11-11-2010 10:55 AM

Kaytee*Hugs* I'm Mark yes :)

I feel like screaming and punching things , even going down to the police station and putting a stone though their window just so I'd have someone to fight and usually I hate confrontation , I HATE this , I'm not neeting my nurse until 3.15pm , SO SO SO SO Angry , I can't make myself cry :S I texted my friend but she often leaved her phone in a different room from herI wrote a message the online RYL support , I DON't know what to do .

My Grandmas Funeral is set now, 18th.

Doikers 11-11-2010 11:08 AM

Kaytee , you okay there?

nicole94 11-11-2010 11:21 AM

*hides* i say i wanna fight but i am supposed to be doing an assignment on where i wanna be in 10 years time, but i can't see myself being here in 10 years time, i can't even see myself being here tomorrow :'( *cries*

Doikers 11-11-2010 11:29 AM

*HUGE HUGS For Nicole* You WILL be here tomorrow , you just have to take tiny baby steps hun, and we all will be here every baby step of the way, I'm still sorry you feel so **** though :(

~Kaytee~ 11-11-2010 11:39 AM

Not really Mark.. Is there anything else you can do that you can take some of that anger out? Got a punching bag or anything similar? Or anything you can do that won't cause harm? *hugs*

*hugs Nicole* Yes, baby steps all the way. It is hard to look that far though.. just.. think of things you like to do and what you've always wanted to do. I hope you'll be okay x

Doikers 11-11-2010 11:46 AM

Kaytee , I took 2 Diazepams and they've kicked in so I'm calmer now ,I am actually a bit zonked heh , But I was freaking angry before so this is better .
Do you want to talk about whats bothering you?

~Kaytee~ 11-11-2010 11:52 AM

Glad your feeling calmer now :) Look after yourself though okay? :)

Ugh, I don't know, just all over the place at the moment, mainly struggling with my ED and just... yeah. I don't even know what to say really, but thanks for asking. I'll be okay.

Doikers 11-11-2010 01:23 PM

Is anyone about?

Kahlia1981 11-11-2010 01:33 PM

I'm here if you're still around Mark

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